January 31, 2011

Pajama Jeans Revisited

I have received so many requests to comment on the pajama jeans recently that I figured I would just repost what I wrote about them a year ago. (Because DSW is always the most cutting edge!)


Check it out above.

Although still impressed with the product, I'm confused as to why they have just resurged the advertising. I've literally had like 5 people tell me about it this month, and it's over a year old!

I'm just glad they are still offering that eye-catching mute gray crewneck t-shirt. Limited-time offer my ass.

On the realz though, I'd kill for a pair of those beauts right now! Putting on pants isn't actually hard, but wearing pajama jeans looks so much more fun!

Do not want


I hope that the unnamed magazine that Justin Bieber is posing for in this article isn't InTouch, which I subscribe to. Because the last thing I want in my house is a shirtless picture of a pre-pubescent 16 year old. One of my major goals of 2011 was to not end up on the sex offenders list.

Aaah, look at that undeveloped chest and those concave pecs. And please pay close attention to the little bird tattoo he has over his left hip.

I love me some Beiber music. But my God man, I do not need to see him shirtless. I'm surprised it's even legal for someone of his age to pose like that. Can you imagine the uproar if a Disney star girl his aged posed like that?!

I'm not going to spend too much more time worrying about the plight of the young overpaid Disney stars, but that's a double standard if I've ever seen one!
Put a shirt on little girl boy!

January 28, 2011

Snooki Shakespeare

I am sure that I am in no way legally allowed to reprint these excerpts, but I just had to share.

I was reading InTouch magazine at the gym today and almost wet my pants laughing out loud at these quotes from Snooki's book, "A Shore Thing."

"Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla."

"Vin Diesel is hotter than Jesus."

"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face."

"Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."

Y'all. That's a real book. In print. You gotta love America and MTV!

Old hat, new hair

It turns out the new hei-hei-heinous hairdid is a big hit in the 70+ crowd.

I went to my grandad's 96th Birthday party last night and my grandmother, who is known to have an opinion or 2, forbade me from ever changing my hair. This is her way of "complimenting" things.

That was just the pick-me-up I needed after a solid week of positively dripping in diamonds bobby pins. I need to hang out with senior citizens more often!

January 27, 2011

Product Review - Digiorno Buffalo Style Chicken Pizza

It's not delivery. It's crap.

Worst. food. ever.

This "pizza" tasted like air, with an airy crust that, although fine in texture, tasted like something less exciting than nothing.

There was nary a hint of buffalo flavor to be found. And I would know. I am a buffalo sauce connoisseur.

While I'm not typically in the habit of eating freezer pizzas, my roommate and I both needed a buffalo style hangover cure Sunday night and we decided on this Digiorno flavor. While it didn't cure my hangover, it did cure my desire to ever buy Digiorno again.

It was literally so bad that I went online to find the information where I could write Digiorno and tell them how awful it was. It was only then that I realized that this flavor isn't even on their website anymore!!!!

In fact, this link is the only sign I could find online that it even exists!! That is just scary.

Does this mean that we ate an old, not-even-sold-anymore pizza!!??

Maybe it got stuck in a time vortex that sucked out all its flavor than accidentally left it behind on the freezer aisle at Harris Teeter.

Regardless, don't buy this ever if you see it.

And Mr. Digiorno, if you're listening: I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

My Strange Addiction - Am I getting punked?

I am pretty sure I'm getting Punked, because there is no way these "strange addictions" are real.

Last night I watched an episode in which one woman is addicted to eating toilet paper and doesn't think there is anything wrong with it (!), and another is addicted to sleeping with her hair dryer.

I semi-believe the toilet paper thing, just because I saw the woman eat a lot of it, but that hair dryer thing is too hard to believe. Just turn it off!

When my husband realized what I was watching, the disappointment in his eyes was almost heartbreaking.

I don't think I'll tune into My Strange Addiction again because I don't really understand the addictions and they really gross me out.

And because other notable addicitons in other episodes include:

- Eating household cleaner

- Eating detergent and soap

- Hair pulling and eating the follicles...yeeeeeeckkk!

- Wearing a fur suit

- Eating couch cushions (Adele has eaten over 3 couches in her life...what?! how?! why?! no!)

- Silicon wife

- Scab picking (I'm almost crying while typing this)
- Rocks (not that dramatic, but I just couldn't end this post on scab picking)

January 25, 2011

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Hair Scare

What is going on with Adrienne Maloof's "hair tinsel"?

She seems almost semi-normal, aside from her blatant husband-hating on the show. So I am shocked and disappointed to see her wear this ridiculous bling in her hair week after week.

Hopefully by next season someone will have sent her an anonymous letter letting her know that just plan old hair extensions all by themselves are fine. No need to add fake gold crap as well.

Eat me

Have you ever noticed that at retail shops (i.e., clothing boutiques, hair salons, stationary stores, etc.) the people behind the cash register always look like they just finished eating?

They always appear to be sucking food out of their teeth like they just finished a nice takeout meal. And I say takeout because you know they also have a fountain drink in a styrofoam cup.

I know it sounds crazy, but pay attention next time you go to an independently owned store. I just know homegirl behind the counter will be chewing the last bit of her snacky and washing it down with a fountain drink from the deli next door!

Poof be gone

This weekend something very bad happened.

I went in for a 2-inch trim and got one of the most dramatic haircuts of my life. By a crazy woman who was giving me grief for not playing the lottery.

I know I exaggerate almost everything, but I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I asked for 2-2.5 inches. She cut off at least five.

I now look like this guy - http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/ and can't even put my hair in a lil' ponytail.

When I got home from the butcher shop my husband actually decided he was going to start calling me Tricia, Tricia the redneck.

I guess this is what I get for going to a "salon" just because I received a $10 coupon in the mail. I really need to figure out to reconcile my desire for nice things with my stupid need to get every free sample possible.

In the meantime, I will just have to spend that $10 I saved on headbands, bobby pins, and teeny tiny rubberbands. Either that or just get a ghetto weave, a la Britney Spears post-head-shaving-meltdown.

January 21, 2011

Shut Up Sky Mall Magazine - The Simple Lasagna Pan

Finally, someone has invented the lasagna…matrix?!

You know who is going to be excited about this? The zero people who have ever said that getting lasagna out of an ordinary pan was hard.

Sucks for the person that gets served that little section between each branch of the maze with no noodle!

And $50 for this piece of stupid?! Talk about putting a $100 saddle on a $10 horse! Lasagna is not an expensive dish!

I think I'll save my $50 for the ingredients it would take to make 40 batches of lasagna in a regular pan that I already have.

Quote of the Day

"Oh yeah? Well I think stretch pants are appalling but I'm too much of a lady to say anything, fat-ass!"

January 20, 2011


Ok now this is just fun to chew!

Ice Cubes peppermint gum. Fun shape, even more fun crystals popping in your mouth...That's what she said.

Product Review - Ghirardelli Sea Salt Soiree

It's been a while since I've done a product review, which obviously means I haven't been out there spending enough money! ;)

Today's (freaking awesome) product is Ghirardelli's Intense Dark Sea Salt Soiree.

If you like things that are sweet, but not too sweet, with the perfect amount of crunch and a dramatically perfect amount of salty bite...and things that are awesome...than you HAVE to buy this chocolate.

I dare say this is the best chocolate "piece" (i.e., not a cake, cookie, brownie type thing) that I've ever had.

I'm not typically in the habit of buying chocolate bars, but I had a few cents left on a Target gift card that was burning a whole in my pocket and it sounded so delicious. Basically it was fate.

Diva Bonus: Dark chocolate contains antioxidants! And even though I have no idea what that does or means, it sounds fancy and therefore justifies eating chocolate! Yay!

January 19, 2011

Bedazzled bestupid

If every baby momma on Teen Mom 2 is after her baby daddy for money for diapers and formula, and always jonzing for a place on her own, then why do they always have brand new, albeit heinous, fake nails!?

Shouldn't that money go to your baby's well-being rather than plastic bedazzled nails?

January 18, 2011

Fro Yo Failure

Speaking of weddings, I was thinking last night about how some parts of the wedding I don't remember as clearly because I get so nervous when people are watching me that I can't even think straight. Like cutting the cake for example. That's a semi-blur.

This happened to me last night when I went to one of those self-serve fro yo places. I unexpectedly saw one of my coworkers there and I was spotted before I could turn around and abandon the unnecessary sugar mission.

So I went in, introduced myself to her boyfriend, then went to fill up on fro yo...and I totally panicked! I was so nervous about her and her boyfriend watching me that I completely messed up my fro yo situation.

Sure I got 2 great flavors in there, but my mind went haywire at the topping bar. I don't know what I was thinking. Who gets giant pecan slices on their fro yo?! And I poured about half what I actually wanted lest I be judged by the pecan-gallery. Fro yo failure!

I need a shock collar or something to zap me out of my mind messes in situations like that. Frozen yogurt is a serious matter and should be sacrificed at the hand of nervousness!

And in related news...seriously, how can that self serve frozen yogurt be so good?! I'd contemplate giving up all other regular food to eat that instead. YUM!

I be wed

I read this really cute blog called pbfingers.com and the girl who writes it just got married in October. She's since been doing some really cute recaps about the most special moments, the presence of God, the behind the scenes tears of joy, etc.

So I thought I'd do a little memory recap from my own wedding last June, only this one is nothing like any of that.

This one involves my husband having about 8 drinks too many and speaking Ebonics during our ceremony.

What little girl doesn't dream of walking out on her dad's arm to arrive at the altar to find her husband-to-be standing there with a $hit-eating grin on his face that says one thing only..."I love you...and I'm drunk."

I really wasn't mad or anything because I knew he's been having a great time all with his friends on the beach, but I wasn't expecting what followed.

Minister: "Repeat after me: I thee wed."

My husband: "I be wed."

Nothing says matrimonial bliss like some cocktails and rouge Ebonics!

*Other sentimental highlights include one person's phone belting out "DROID", and another guest spilling a whole drink on himself during the ceremony. I really wouldn't have changed anything about it though, because I'm classy!

January 14, 2011

What is wrong with this picture?

Look at me! I'm stupid and don't work properly!
You might want me to go to 78 degrees, but I'm going
to stay at 59 because I'm a little bitch!

The fattiest part of waking up...

There is a carton of 40% Milkfat Whipping Cream in the communal refrigerator at my office.

There is no oven, stove, or anything else that would facilitate baking in our break room, so my only other conclusion is that someone is putting this in his or her coffee!?

At that point, wouldn't it be just as "healthy" and even tastier just to get a damn milkshake?

I don't know about the Whipping Cream bandit, but I like to save the majority of my daily fat intake until at least 10am. Morning creamed coffee is just a bit too disgusting rich for my taste!

January 13, 2011

Things that are NOT diva - Warehouse Sales

Yesterday I went to the J.Crew warehouse sale that is going on in Chapel Hill for a couple of weeks. I was so excited to get a $3 bathing suit and some $20 boots, or whatever other cheap crap I could find.

Boy was I in for a rude awakening. Upon entering the space, I was handed a trash bag...I knew this was not going to be the divalicious budget goldmine I had dreamt of.

And as if the trash bag wasn't bad enough, there was literally ZERO organization of the clothes. The clothes were neither organized by size, color, style, garment, price, season, nor any other adjective imagineable.

The $3 bathing suits were nowhere to be seen. They might have been in one of the hundreds of cardboard boxes, under the endless piles of muted colored linen somethings, animal print rejects, and shirts with plastic sequins on them. But I wouldn't know, because I carried that trash bag from the entrance of the store to the exit of the store with a look of horror on my face.

I don't even like shopping in the sale racks just because of how disorganized they always are. This was absolutely unshoppable.

This isn't meant in a snobby way, because goodness knows I have nary a disposable penny, but sometimes you just can't put a price on knowing where the hell the shirts, in your size, to your liking are.

Shop at your own risk if you must go. But know that this place does not come recommended by Mamacita!

January 12, 2011

Hide your kids, hide your wife baby momma

Tuned in to the newest group of Teen Moms yet? I sure did.

I'm afraid Janelle is going to make it hard to watch this season, as she is a wretched mom-hating monster.

Highlights so far:

Favorite quote from the episode regarding Jace's baby daddy Andrew -> "He's supposedly modeling in China."

Favorite post from the Teen Mom 2 comment section -> "Jenelle is the new Amber."

I am ashamed to understand that sentence, but delighted that the new season is upon us! When you know, you know!

Butterfly Tweets

The spirit just moved me to look up Mariah Carey's twitter page for the first time. How I've never done this before is beyond me.

It's nothing really special except for the fact that she calls her followers "Lambs" and "Lambys". But I did find this one gem: "Cha Cha took over our bed after her belligerent daughter Jackie Lamb Chops beat her a**! http://yfrog.com/h6yqzxj"

Just to be clear, that means she named one of her dogs Jackie Lamb Chops. Jackie? Fine. Lamb Chops? I kind of like it, very diva! But Jackie Lamb Chops? How specific and random can you possibly be at the same time?!

I CANNOT WAIT to see what she names her twins. If previous speculation from DSW readers ends up being correct, possible names could include the following:

-Fantasia (-tasia for short)
-Peaches Honeyblossom Carey
-Stiletto Butterfly Cannon Carey

My vote goes to Stiletto Butterfly!

BTW: That outfit pictured above wouldn't even look good on non-pregnant women.

Frample Time!

How would you like 3 free bagels from Bruegger's Bagels?!?

If you "Like" them on facebook, you can get a coupon for 3 free bagels on February 8!

Honestly, the only way free things can get better are when they involve food. This is the marriage of 2 very beautiful things!

Editor's Note: If you have never tried the Herby Turkey from Bruegger's, you simply must! I recommend it on a sundried tomato bagel b/c they rule, or a bagelwich b/c they are softer and allow you to really taste the essence of the sundried tomato spread and chive cream cheese, without a bunch of bread getting in your way. YUM!

January 11, 2011

Age is but a secret number

Why did they stop showing the ages of the girls on the Bachelor?!

How are we supposed to be cynical about the likelihood of relationships lasting if we can't tell who the 23 year olds are?!

Also, did anyone watch last night? There is no safe way that all of that carnival equipment could be hooked up to one power source. You can't fool me ABC!

January 10, 2011

It's the Most Dangerous Time of the Year

Girl Scout cookie time! Run for cover!

The dreaded office signup sheet for Girl Scout cookies turned up in the break room today. According to the sheet the cookies aren't delivered until mid-February, which means I get to look at that sheet and think of cookies everyday for over a month. Boo.

And the Girls really stepped it up this year with some interesting new flavors. New flavors (at least to me) include Dulce de Leche, Thank U Berry Munch, Thanks-A-Lot, and (diva alert) Shout Outs!

Someone else is going to have to give me the low down on the new flavors, because after last year's heinous roadside impulse Girl Scout cookie purchase, I'm never buying them again.

Why is it so easy to convince yourself that chocolate peanut butter cookies are ok to buy just because cute little girls are selling them!?

January 06, 2011

Domestic Diva - Cooking Tool

This is a pretty cool cooking tool if you're ever in need of some simple inspiration.

You can pick the main ingredient and type of dish and then the tool gives you lots of different ideas for meals!

Sometimes I just simply cannot think of something new to make, so hopefully this tool will help me in the future!

Le' Petite Horror

Today I'd like to talk about a little something I like to call le' petite horror.
If you are anything like me, than petite would be one the most likely adjectives someone would use to never describe you.

Now let me paint a little picture for you...

You're walking around Banana Republic picking up a few items that you like, putting some back, taking some to try on. Jewelry looks cute but always falls apart, screw that. Ooh that cute sweater over there has caught my eye, I'll go check it out! Pick it up, hold it over you, decide to take it to the dressing room, and then look at the tag. It's a 6P!!!!!

Danger! Danger! Step away from the garment. Put it back on the rack, glance around like you just shot someone and pray to God that no one saw you thinking you were actually going to pull off a petite. Back away slowly and leave the area immediately!

Has that ever happened to any of you non-petites out there? Why don't they make the transition from normal to freakishly small more obvious?!

I vote that retailers should make the Petite section more like the red light district in Amsterdam. Light that $hit up! Help a big boned sista know when she's trespassing onto enemy territory!

January 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

"To quote Morgan Freeman in just about any movie, 'You shoulda listened to me, white girl.'"

January 04, 2011

Symptoms of Depression

You want to know how divas know they are truly sick? When they've lost the will to shop.

This happened to be last night and it was truly disorienting.

I went to the mall to return something, which usually always means that I'm also going to stop by a few more stores and at least browse.

Well last night I simply couldn't browse. I even had gift cards in hand and I just couldn't muster up the energy to shop. That's like free shopping that I passed up! T'was a sad trip to the mall.

However, I marched my ass home, watched 3 episodes of Lost because I am always at least 3 years behind technology, made a fruit smoothie parfait and convinced myself it would heal me, and went right on to bed.

Today I am healed! And you know how Stella got her groove back? Well Mamacita done got her appetite back! DANGER!

Now the will power needs to kick in to complete the dreaded New Year's resolution. Wish me luck!

Will you accept this emotional baggage?

Hello basketcase!

Did anyone else tune into the Bachelor season premiere last night?

I didn't watch the first season with Brad Womack but I hope to the god of roses that he was more manly the first season.

This guy is truly a devastated emotional wreck!

Usually they say bitches be crazy. Well it looks like we could be in for a double whammy this season!

I can't wait to see how the newest "most dramatic season of the Bachelor ever" (which they all are allegedly) pans out!

The good news: Nothing could be worse than the nightmare that was Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi. Those two should be put to sleep.

January 03, 2011

Party Hardly

Oh New Years Eve. The time for getting no sleep, waking up feeling sick, and not knowing how this happened...

That all happened to me this NYE, but not because of too much partying.

My husband and I both got a celebratory case of food poisoning. And a subsequent 3 hours of sleep that night. Don't they say food poisoning is supposed to be a 24 hour thing? Because it's been over 48 hours and I'm still too scared to eat anything.

The good news is I've got quite the jumpstart for my weight loss goal! And, as usually happens with food poisoning, I also have a new list of foods I won't be eating for at least 6 months, which should help me lose the rest of the weight.

Said foods include, but are not limited to, ground beef, steak, blue cheese (especially blue cheese), gravy, and most definitely NOT crabcakes. It really does pain me to even type those words.

And just to make the situation even more ideal, we had to drive 5.5 hours the next day to get home. That was a really fun carride.

Cheers to my first NYE being married, and my first tandem food poisoning with my mate. May there be zero more times of that in the future!

Editor's note: This post is not sponsored by Charmin, but they can thank my household for the successful Q1 this year

The Year in Mariah Carey

This is just simply important year-end information about the one who started it all. And by "all" I mean divasayswhat.com.

Read on above for 10 highlights of Mimi's exciting year. But get excited below with this header:

"Whether it was making a drunken acceptance speech, pretending she didn't fart on TV, or showing off the twins in her belly or the twins in her bra, Mimi has had a miraculous 2010."

Oh wise one

Wise words from a wise woman:

"Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi knows the best way to wash down a night of bubbly – and that's with more bubbly."

Calling champagne the "New Year's Eve drink," the pint-sized Jersey Shore star, 23, tells PEOPLE her most tried-and-true hangover cure is simple: "Drink more!" she says."

That's the kind of sage advice that today's youth needs to receive! Did anyone partake in her recommendation this Saturday?!

In related news, how freaking excited is everyone for this Thursday?!? Season 3 premiere of Jersey Shore...bitches!

Money for nothing

I was at the car dealership last week because, you know, it's always something! As I was waiting for an hour and a half for my car computer to be reset for the depressing tune of $113.89, I went searching for entertainment.

Do not, I repeat, do not go to a car dealership unarmed with your own entertainment. Unless you love AARP, Ebony, and AAA magazines you will find nothing to keep you busy until the repairman comes and tells you it will be another 1.5 hours (which so happened).

Well that's not totally true. There was a muted version of Let's Make a Deal and then The Young and the Restless on the TV, but I'd rather catch up on my AARP news than watch that garbage.

Here's to a repair-free 2011 fellow car owners!

Worst new phrase of 2010

"You do you. I'ma do me."

What does that even mean?!
Let's squash that in 2011 folks.