Sickness Be Gone

Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury - I am guilty of being a huge hypocrite.

 



Source

 

 

After writing this post and this post about men being total wimps about getting sick, I straight up got my ass handed to me by some freak hybrid cold/flu/sinus infection/heinousness that turned me into a whimpering puddle of tissues and sad faces.

 

Out of all the Karmic gods, the god of the sinuses must be the most vindictive, because that bitch ruled me for over a week.  Luckily the god of Zpack came through and saved the day.

 

It's a good thing I don't lose my appetite when I get sick because I had to eat ALL of my words and chase them with lots of Orange Juice.

 

Never again will I make fun of the man cold.  Because the only thing worse than being sick is being sick without the possibility of sympathy. 

 

I rest my case.

Head Cold to the Max

Yesterday I went through a whole box of tissues and most of the skin on my nose.  Now all I want to do is this, to myself:

It was only a matter of time before I became infected after writing this.  Ow.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it...

If a guy gets sick and there is no woman there to complain to, will he really count those as sick days?

Source

Grant was sick all weekend while I was away.  I was secretly glad to miss that production.  But he seemed fine for all intents and purposes on the phone.

It wasn't until I walked in the door that he really started to fall apart.  I guess it's more fun to be sick when you have an audience.  

Now I'm 99% sure I got what he has and I have to be strong and power through it to set an example.  Plus I lost all sympathy cards when I wrote this post so I have to choice but to buck up and lozenge on.

Asleep Behind the Pharmacy Counter

I have a cold.

Yesterday I went to buy some medicine. After finally finding <$10 generic version of something that fit my symptoms, I then couldn't tell if it was Non-Drowsy or Drowsy.

When did buying cold medicine get so damn confusing?!

I went to ask the Pharmacist if it was a Non-Drowsy version, which is what I wanted. She said, hesitantly, "Well...it has acetaminophen so it can cause drowsiness, but not necessarily." So it's Non-Drowsy?!

She seemed really unsure about what the hell she was telling me so I just decided to be dramatic and ask if it had anything major like the same ingredients as NyQuil that would donk me out.

Well I'm sure glad I asked! It was the exact same main active ingredient. If I hadn't prodded further I would have certainly taken that medicine and fallen asleep behind the wheel. I will not be frequenting that pharmacy!

With the Non-Drowsy medicine I did end up getting, I also bought Liquid Plummer and Ant Bait, so I'm pretty sure I'm on a meth-lab watchlist now.

Symptoms of Depression

You want to know how divas know they are truly sick? When they've lost the will to shop.

This happened to be last night and it was truly disorienting.

I went to the mall to return something, which usually always means that I'm also going to stop by a few more stores and at least browse.

Well last night I simply couldn't browse. I even had gift cards in hand and I just couldn't muster up the energy to shop. That's like free shopping that I passed up! T'was a sad trip to the mall.

However, I marched my ass home, watched 3 episodes of Lost because I am always at least 3 years behind technology, made a fruit smoothie parfait and convinced myself it would heal me, and went right on to bed.

Today I am healed! And you know how Stella got her groove back? Well Mamacita done got her appetite back! DANGER!

Now the will power needs to kick in to complete the dreaded New Year's resolution. Wish me luck!

Party Hardly

Oh New Years Eve. The time for getting no sleep, waking up feeling sick, and not knowing how this happened...

That all happened to me this NYE, but not because of too much partying.

My husband and I both got a celebratory case of food poisoning. And a subsequent 3 hours of sleep that night. Don't they say food poisoning is supposed to be a 24 hour thing? Because it's been over 48 hours and I'm still too scared to eat anything.

The good news is I've got quite the jumpstart for my weight loss goal! And, as usually happens with food poisoning, I also have a new list of foods I won't be eating for at least 6 months, which should help me lose the rest of the weight.

Said foods include, but are not limited to, ground beef, steak, blue cheese (especially blue cheese), gravy, and most definitely NOT crabcakes. It really does pain me to even type those words.

And just to make the situation even more ideal, we had to drive 5.5 hours the next day to get home. That was a really fun carride.

Cheers to my first NYE being married, and my first tandem food poisoning with my mate. May there be zero more times of that in the future!

Editor's note: This post is not sponsored by Charmin, but they can thank my household for the successful Q1 this year