tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84506632727112244042024-03-18T15:27:53.454-04:00Diva Says WhatI say what I mean and I mean what I say.Mamacitahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02622231477020390652noreply@blogger.comBlogger1997125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-23804279304370282482020-04-11T15:44:00.001-04:002020-04-11T15:44:39.929-04:00I Miss My Friends<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">First things first, let's all agree to disable the Screen Time app on our phones. We all know we are on our phones too much these days but it's OK because sometimes looking at your phone a million times a day in denial that no invitations will be coming in makes us feel more normal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here we are, Spring Break 2020 living that 4th week quarantine life. Personally, I do not think the Government should legally be allowed to call it Spring "Break". The only thing we are breaking is our backs squatting on the floor trying to teach fine motor skills to our children because we have no choice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My homeschooling is struggling. I told Jack last week that we were going to write a book throughout the week. A new page every day. Then I forgot and now the only page of the entire book has one sentence. "I like war." If you know Jack, you know that the only thing he loves more than snacks is WWII history.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Recently, I have either been choosing to clean my house or entertain my house. You can tell by my house that I have definitely NOT been ignoring my kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My level of boredom is such that I actually found myself wishing for a break out last week so that I would have some zits to pop. I miss humans. Don't get me wrong, I don't need to spend another second with my husband or kids. But I would love to have a dinner with some friends and experience some gut busting laughter and a million hugs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One way I have found to pass the time is by getting into really time consuming foods. I recommend labor intensive oddities like pistachios and grapefruits. Hell, the other day I ate an entire artichoke by myself just because I wanted a project that would take some time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">How is everyone looking these days without salons being open? I consider myself pretty low maintenance in the upkeep department. I won't come out of this with black hair underneath my roots or alarming nail beds. But I am not going to lie, I could use a little Botox. I have been furrowing my brow A LOT these days and it looks like I have a full size Oscar Meyer wiener in between my eyebrows.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I've lost all tolerance for real clothes. I put on jeans and a blouse yesterday and felt like I was suffocating from the general fittedness and lack of elastic. You know who I bet are really thriving during this time? Bunions. They are all breathing a huge sigh of relief not to be crammed into a narrow stiletto to go to work or somewhere fancy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I don't usually get political but we need to talk about Doctor Deborah Birx, MD. Her scarf collection and scarf tying game is so strong there is no way she doesn't know Oragami. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What is the deal with people hoarding toilet paper during a pandemic? Unless you get a stress induced case of the runs, why would you ever need tons of it? I bet you that the Charmin bear wipes his ass with $20 bills now he has made so much money from this panic. I still can't find toilet paper in the stores, not that I ever go in stores anymore. I finally found some Seventh Generation TP on Amazon and I quite certain from the texture of it that it completely missed the paper mill and is recycled straight from tree bark. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Speaking of toilet paper, it has become apparent after all this time spent at home together that no one else in my house flushes the toilet and at least one person doesn't even wipe after going #2, so the tp shortage isn't as much of a personal crisis as I originally feared.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yet another Instagram challenge that I was not nominated for is the First Dance Challenge. Which is fine by me because I refused to have a first dance because I didn't want people looking at me. In fact, I insisted on a steel drum band with no vocals to ensure I didn't have to dance at all. Instead we limboed to the steel beats under a makeshift limbo stick someone made by untwisting the bristles off of a broom stick. So take that friends who haven't nominated me to do push ups or show other pictures of my first date. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To all my friends out there, that's all for now. I fear we shan't meet in person soon so until the next time I get to my computer, deep breaths, heavy pours, and lots and lots of patience.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-86592942298676497992020-03-30T13:42:00.002-04:002020-03-30T13:42:30.269-04:00CORO-Hell-NO!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You know what is funny about the Corona Virus? Say it with my homeschool students...N-O-T-H-I-N-G!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">However, there is one thing that makes me laugh everyday. The snack bag. You see, I always lamented the days of the month when I got the preschool snack bag on a Friday for Monday's snack. I hated having to keep it out of the way all weekend without forgetting to fill it on Monday. Well guess who got the snack bag the Friday before the 165 day "weekend" we are currently surviving. I'm keeping it safe and praying I will be able to bring it back before next Fall.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Speaking of schedules and the general passage of time, my new homeschool schedule went from something ambitious to something like this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">7am-6pm: Survive</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">6pm+: Wine</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">On the topic of wine, anyone else feel like they could have a Coachella level tolerance after this pandemic is over? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I totally have a Homeschool Hangover. First of all, I never sleep through the night anymore. It's always hard to go back to sleep when you wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about random things you have to do the next day, like go to the dentist or buy more ham. But when the world is ending it is considerably more difficult to get back in that REM cycle once your mind starts racing. Now when I wake up in the middle of the night this is more my train of thought:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- Oh gosh I have to homeschool my kids again tomorrow. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- Please God don't let my kids get sick.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow so we can leave the house.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- Do I have enough Sauvignon Blanc to last 3 months?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- Shit I promised the kids we would make Rice Crispy Treats tomorrow. Note to self to not stress eat the entire pain of treats.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- Should I be offended that no one nominated me for the 10 push up challenge on Instagram?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You know, just normal apocalyptic stuff like that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It is also so hard to get out of bed in the morning when you have nothing real to do. Which I am pretty sure is the first sign of depression. But I refuse to complain because I have a lot of perspective about this and know how lucky I am to have a home and resources to teach my kids. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My heart really does break for those that are losing their jobs and any sense of normalcy and structure they need. I also feel really bad for cabbage and swiss chard, because no matter how bare the grocery store is, those two undesirables are always still available.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My kids' rogue sock situation is out of control. I thought it was bad before, but now that we are home all day everyday, its like they are multiplying and covering the floor of every room in the house.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I really need to clear my calendar because all of the calendar tasks reminding me of activities that are cancelled and Evite alerts to post photos of my son's Birthday party that never happened are really bumming me out. I remember one time when I was 13 I accidentally took a nap in the afternoon and woke up panicked that I had missed my friend's Bar Mitzvah. Now if I accidentally take a nap I wake up terrified that I don't have anything to do for the next 2 months. One of those things is true, and I can assure you I made it to do the electric slide at that Bar Mitzvah so hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am so very curious to see if summer goes on as usual since our kids will have missed so much school. The part of me that wants my kids back to a normal schedule hopes that summer will be abbreviated so the kids can get back to learning ASAP. And the other extra large part of me that will not have been to a gym in 4 months wants the whole bathing suit season cancelled completely. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Watch out for me when this thing is over. I might start French kissing strangers just because I will be so happy to interact with other humans. Stay safe and stay sane everyone! Even if I haven't talked to you in 10 years I promise I miss you.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-80337882527259402192019-12-31T13:59:00.001-05:002019-12-31T13:59:27.001-05:00Happy New Year<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Another year gone by. It was a good one because I am #trulyblessed. But if I’m being honest I don’t remember a single thing I did this year. That’s pretty much how I have felt for the last 6 years. Which is why my main resolution this year is to FOCUS. I want to always know what day and month it is which will be a pretty big lifestyle change. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Since I last posted I sprained my ankle a week after having surgery, had to wear a boot for 3 weeks in the peak of summer, and got an acid photo burn on my hand from a mixture of lime juice and the sun. Too many margaritas and not even SPF makes for another random physical element I suppose.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I should have known the summer wasn’t going to be my peak sexiness on the first day after school ended. I chased a loose receipt all over the parking lot of the grocery store, only to finally catch it and look up to find 6 sexy firemen walking toward me who had seen the whole tragic pursuit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Back to the present. I am sick of watching tv and sick of drinking wine. I want to read books at night and wake up feeling like a precious innocent. I am actually excited to make healthy changes this year. Apparently there is a maximum amount of Real Housewives and Sauvignon Blanc that someone can enjoy. And I have hit the max. Send book recommendations!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It’s also come to my attention lately that my nose has almost doubled in size since I was in high school. I know there’s no way to change it or reverse it. But I just need you to know that I know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I think I am going full yoga this year with some cardio free styling. I’ve been trying boot camp classes for years and have finally come to terms with the fact that I am too floppy and too prone to lower back injury to make it enjoyable. I love yoga and it makes me feel like I can live a long life with fewer aches and pains and more positive vibes. So that’s what I am going to do!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I also resolve to never run again. I tried once this year and I honestly didn’t remember how to do it. Every single part of my body was jiggling and it just wasn’t good for my psyche or the general morale of the neighborhood. I don’t even like to watch other people run. I feel like I get a new cluster of spider veins every time someone even jogs by me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I would also like to say I am going to play more pickup games of basketball. There is a 0% chance this will actually happen but something about a casual game of B-ball with a few strangers excites me greatly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This is pretty unrelated to the new year but I truly believe that loose BBQ sauce should not be photographed. I like it just fine on a nice piece of chicken but don’t put that sauce on tv running down a sandwich. It’s too thick and it’s disgusting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">That’s all I got for now! Happy New Year to all!</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-63883882116028734272019-06-08T09:00:00.001-04:002019-06-08T09:00:25.362-04:0090210h my gosh<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">It’s been a long long time since I blogged but I am back! <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I recently went to a wedding and got lots of requests to revive Diva Says What, so I had to give the people what they want.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Last time I checked in I was living the dream and my kids were perfect....oh wait no I was complaining about day light savings and might have called my kids assholes.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">In the last year I have done seemingly nothing in an endless Groundhog Day but actually a whole a lot has happened. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I bought a new house and sold my old house in one day by myself and pretended to know what I was doing. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I pulled a catering business out of my ass and then put it back in there a year and half later. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>It was fun while it lasted but I got scared of the man busting me and I just got so sick of doing dishes and trimming excessive amounts of poultry while my kids were at school that I had to hang up my illegal chefs hat. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But I still do special requests </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: ".applecoloremojiui"; font-size: 17pt;">😉</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I met freaking Ian Zeiring in the gift bag aisle of target. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> He has the body of 25 year old and the hat of a member of a barbershop quartet. </span>I didn’t even know what to do afterward. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I called my sister and asked, “How do I even go back to my normal life after having met Ian because I know it won’t be the same?!” It turns out it was the same. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Most people I told didn’t even know who he was. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And then the show he was here filming got canceled basically before I even got home from Target </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: ".applecoloremojiui"; font-size: 17pt;">😬</span><span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I was so normal and not abrasive in person. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Then I got a little crazy and asked him to come swim with my family via Instagram. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Hey you original 90210 fans get it right?</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">No...that’s a no...I mean if it were Dillon or Brandon, yes ask him for a group swim. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But not Steve Sanders. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I was clearly not having a fulfilling day. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Speaking of grasping at straws for a connection, I recently had to go under anesthesia and, upon waking, told nurse April that my name was March...nope. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But I was born in March so maybe I’m not a total sociopath.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I got a hernia repair which was undoubtedly more painful than birthing over 17 pounds of kid. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Pregnancy is truly the gift that keeps on giving to your body. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And do you even know how hard it is to scream at your children with an abdominal wound? <span class="Apple-converted-space"> Almost impossible</span>. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I haven’t had to put a bandage on my stomach since sophomore year of college when, after a rather terrible night, I spilled a bowl of Easy Mac on my stomach and got a 3rd degree burn. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>My roommates did their drunken best of taking care of me and applying slices of kraft singles to my wound, but nothing could save it from the burn. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The scar remains today. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>No scar makes a parent prouder than an easy mac scar. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I really went to bat for my buzz...I’ve never eaten Easy Mac since.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I wish I could make a PSA to all teens and twenties to love their bodies before having kids. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I look back at pictures from when I was young and thin and remember being self conscious at the time. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Oh silly young Marilyn. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Little did I know that a mere decade later I would have to hold my crotch and stomach while sneezing so that I didn’t pee in my pants and rupture my hernia stitches at the same time.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">There is nothing I love more than a random act of kindness and when I was the recipient of them after my surgery it brought a tear to me eye to realize how lucky I am to have such great friends. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>They brought me pizza, wine, books, casseroles, stool softeners...what more could a gal ask for?</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I feel like in our thirties, it’s so easy to get caught up on making money, trying to look a certain way, and caring what people think of us. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Sometimes I think I care and try to buy outfits that aren’t even from Old Navy and then I realize I truly, madly, deeply, don’t give a shit. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>All I care really about in life is raising kind kids, having a few close friends that make me laugh, and having a great relationship with my spouse and family. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">That’s truly all I need in life. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Well, that, dental floss and a full size brush.</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9Lt1eCkEUEo/XPuwftVCaaI/AAAAAAAACpQ/EGmWGZ7QoKUtcGGY18G94oBzaPj2P4p0gCLcBGAs/s1600/ii.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="316" data-original-width="474" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9Lt1eCkEUEo/XPuwftVCaaI/AAAAAAAACpQ/EGmWGZ7QoKUtcGGY18G94oBzaPj2P4p0gCLcBGAs/s320/ii.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://rollingout.com/2014/11/02/boyz-ii-men-tell-real-reason-michael-mccary-longer-group/">Source</a><span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I also saw Boyz II Men in concert which was truly epic to me. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> Even though it took some adjusting to their 3 part harmony since my boy Mike is no longer it the group, I had the time of my life signing along. </span>I took it upon myself to play the part of Mariah Carey when they sang One Sweet Day because she shockingly wasn’t there. I sang so hard I could barely speak after the concert, but I managed, made my friend take a photo session of me at a college bar, and narrowly escaped what would have been a tragic karaoke version of Motownphilly because I got too tired and had to go home. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Now that I am no longer under suspicion of running a food truck as the gals at the meet counter at Harris Teeter accused me of, I am pretty free and ready to keep up the blog. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Hopefully I’ll stick to it. Happy Summer!</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-63732538404419286742018-11-05T19:23:00.000-05:002018-11-05T20:08:37.634-05:00Daylight Savings/Need Saving<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.nbc15.com/content/news/Get-ready-to-fall-back-Daylight-Saving-Time-ends-Sunday-Nov-4-499386721.html">Source</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'll be the first to say it out loud - It's hard to like your kids this time of year. What with the time change, early morning wake ups, lack of sunlight after 5pm, and continuing whining about wanting to eat Halloween candy. I said it on Facebook a few years ago, but it bares repeating: Daylight Savings is when you gain an hour but lose the will to live.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I can't believe it's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow. I love Fall and was SO excited about packing my spider veins away for the winter. Now I have figure out how to dress again for the rest of the week. I struggle with clothes for warm weather.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Speaking of clothes, everyone really seemed to like my jazz boot story in my last post. It was not an isolated event. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; display: inline; float: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I remember another time at my last job when I thought I looked smart in my navy trousers and white short sleeved button up. It was around lunchtime when I caught a glance in then bathroom mirror and realized I looked like a Cuban senior citizen wearing an authentic guayabera.</span></span></div>
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Also, I had at least a 4 year period of my 20’s in which I unknowingly dressed as a man. I had a collection of thick J Crew chinos in every color, especially dark khaki, and I paired them with men’s polo shirts. In a size men’s small, of course, because I have always been petite. I wish I had a picture to share but it was just before the dawn of digital photos. Maybe that was for the best.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; orphans: 2; outline: transparent 0px; overflow: visible; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />I have a very specific memory of wearing my chinos in Chicago one summer. Did you know the Windy City isn't always windy? I literally did not. I went in the height of summer, armed with my bevy of chinos and polos. I thought it was always cold there. Until I sweated through my pants at Wrigley Field and got such a bad sunburn on my forearms that I had to cover them with brochures on a boat tour the next day. I went to Walgreens after the boat tour and tried to buy sunscreen SPF 90. A sympathetic black lady at the counter said, "You know they make that in 100." Naturally I went back to the sunscreen aisle to get the max protection for my alabaster skin.</span></div>
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Why can’t there just be 5 pairs of shoes for sale that all look good? Every time I am determined to upgrade my 5 pair collection of sexually ambiguous loafers, I get overwhelmed by the 470,000 shoe options on the Zappos or Nordstrom website, and I end up just quitting and taking a nap. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; display: inline; float: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I did go out on a limb earlier this summer and get some fashionable wedges with a high heel and super chic fabric and color. And then I realized if I walk more than 0.5 mph in them, I will instantly collapse.</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; orphans: 2; outline: transparent 0px; overflow: visible; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; display: inline; float: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; orphans: 2; outline: transparent 0px; overflow: visible; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; display: inline; float: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
Most of the time my house is so messy it looks like I’m in the middle of a move. How do kids do it? I know it's considered ideal to have a house where you can see the floor, but it's so hard not to give up sometimes. The only time my house is truly clean is for about a half hour when the housekeepers come every other week. Then the kids show up and it's back to Sanford and Son status.</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; orphans: 2; outline: transparent 0px; overflow: visible; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; display: inline; float: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; orphans: 2; outline: transparent 0px; overflow: visible; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; display: inline; float: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19.99px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
Remember when they used to not let you bring cuticle clippers on planes after 9/11? That was a tough time. I’ve always been a nervous flyer but during that period my fear of crashing was equally matched by my fear of getting a hang skin and not being able to nip it with a clean cut. Thank goodness now they just don’t let you bring water in from the outside. I would much rather be dehydrated than have unruly cuticles.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">That's my thought dump of the month. If anyone has any ground breaking indoor activities for these long dark afternoons, holler at your girl. Or just come over and have some wine with me and make our kids entertain each other.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-47152595898635309582018-10-02T18:32:00.000-04:002018-10-02T18:32:32.867-04:00Proof of Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since I am taking a
medical/hurricane leave of absence from my illegal catering company, I decided
I need to force myself back on to society and give the old blog some love.</span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What in the fresh hell
is the deal with face tattoos these days? All the kids are listening to this
guy, Post Malone. Scary, isn’t it! I actually looked up all his
google images to see the progression of his face art and my heart broke for his
mother each time a new tattoo appeared. Can you even imagine?! Nothing
would bring me greater sadness than my son walking through the door with the
words “Always Sleepy” permanently inked below his eyes. I mean, I get it.
I literally am always tired. But I can just tell you that straight up
verbally with no tattoo needed. One time my sister died her hair purple
with Kool-Aid and you would have thought she had sold her body for drugs my mom
was so crushed. Poor Mrs. Malone.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you’re like me, you
probably have no idea who Post Malone is. I don’t even know how I know
who he is. Grant was recently so disappointed in me because I didn’t know
who anyone was who was performing at Coachella this year. I used to be
pretty up to speed on the hot current artists and go to lots of concerts.
Now I only listen to Fifth Harmony on Pandora when I exercise
and Barney on road trips. I am about as basic as they come these days.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was on a
bachelorette party in Nashville last month and we signed up for a spin
class. I was a little hungover but ready to sweat out my headache.
Then they turned all the damn lights off and started bumping A$AP Rocky and
other such rap artists I have never heard of. Even though I felt like I
was going to have a panic attack because I was locked into my pedals and
spinning in complete darkness, it made me giggle to envision the 46 all white women
bachelorette attendees (different parties) getting their exercise to the
soothing sounds of really hardcore racial rap music that we have no business
trying to sing along to. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a tip for
you. If you ever want to feel like a total asshole, get a facial after a
natural disaster. I went to see my regular person last week and you can
only imagine what a jerk I felt like while she told me about her brother’s
house that was completely underwater, as she jade rolled my adult acne.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wonder if I don’t
blog anymore because I might be running out of things to complain about?!<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My kids sleep through the night, I am done
with cribs and morning naps, and Katie only has accidents 3 times a day and
always on upholstery.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s funny that my
kids like to dress up in my clothes. I guess because I am old and have
the wonderful responsibility of holding keys and driving and all that luscious
stuff I used to covet as a kid, that they think I’m cool. Little do they
know I am the world’s worst dresser. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Did I ever tell you about the time that
I unknowingly wore jazz shoes to the first day of my first ever real job?<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I also paired them with tapered, pin striped
pants and I really think I thought I looked chic and professional.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I am not exaggerating when I saw that my
sister’s jaw literally dropped when she saw me after work that day.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was a visual crime against humanity.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I need a stylist. Did I also ever tell you that my first real job was at the DC headquarters of 1-800-PackRat...and that I answered the phone 100 times a day saying, "1-800-PackRat, this is Marilyn. How can I help you?" My parents were so proud.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So…that’s what’s new
with me these days.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Power has been
restored.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Internet works about an hour
every day.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Sanity and emotional
stability are still in question but everyone is powering through and trying to
help those affected by the hurricane.<span style="margin: 0px;"> We are definitely lucky compared to many in surrounding areas. </span>I
hope everyone is well!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until next time…</span></span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-74986107902616378462017-12-29T17:04:00.002-05:002017-12-29T17:04:22.229-05:00Annie's Vegetable Beef Soup<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I love a good soup in the wintertime for lunch or dinner. This is one of my favorites that my mom has always made. It has great flavor from all the spices and is easy to put together thanks to the use of frozen veggies. The whole recipe takes less than 30 minutes of hands on time and makes a large quantity for eating, freezing, or sharing!</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SiMC90Bzj2Q/Wka7wOt3XkI/AAAAAAAACik/fWrGdR1gWd0-ii-vMwsKE4G6C01R1ItogCLcBGAs/s1600/containers.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SiMC90Bzj2Q/Wka7wOt3XkI/AAAAAAAACik/fWrGdR1gWd0-ii-vMwsKE4G6C01R1ItogCLcBGAs/s320/containers.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>INGREDIENTS:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 2 lbs. ground beef</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1/2 tsp. Jane's Crazy Mixed Up Salt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1 tsp chili powder</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1 tsp dried oregano</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1 tsp dried basil</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1/2 tsp. black pepper</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1/2 tsp. Lantana (all purpose seasoning)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1/2 large green pepper, diced</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1 small yellow onion, diced</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 4 celery stalks, diced</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 2 cloves garlic, minced</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 28 oz. diced tomatoes with seasoning</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 14 oz. beef broth</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 72 oz. V-8 juice</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 1 bay leaf</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 8 oz. frozen corn</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 8 oz. frozen butter beans</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 8 oz. frozen carrots, sliced</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 8 oz. frozen okra, sliced</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 8 oz. frozen pearl onions</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">- 8 oz. frozen green beans, cut</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">D<b>IRECTIONS:</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Brown the meat with the spices. Saute the chopped onion, celery, garlic, green pepper in a small amount of olive oil until tender, about 5 minutes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mix the meat and veggies together in a large pot and add all other ingredients. Bring to a boil and simmer for 1 hour. Enjoy!</span></div>
marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-28776232189177612802017-10-31T20:31:00.003-04:002017-10-31T20:31:57.089-04:00Holiday Randomness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.thdstatic.com/spin/48/301148548/301148548_S01.spin?thumb&profile=400" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://www.thdstatic.com/spin/48/301148548/301148548_S01.spin?thumb&profile=400" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.thdstatic.com/spin/48/301148548/301148548_S01.spin?thumb&profile=400">Source</a></td></tr>
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Halloween is over. It was fun while it lasted but oh my gosh it lasted so long. I made the mistake of decorating way too early and had to commit to a full Halloween lifestyle for 31 full days. Do you know how time consuming it is to maintain an inflatable? I had to put our inflatable pumpkin reaper to bed every night by unplugging it, then wake it up every morning plugging it in, wiping the dew off so that it could stand up right, fluffing it up. I even had my first IRI: Inflatable Related Injury, when I sliced my foot on some slate spiffing it up for the day.</div>
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Now that Halloween is over, t'is the season to give thanks. And I have so many things I am thankful for this year. </div>
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First, I am thankful for Papa John for serving his pizza with a cup of butter and making us feel like its ok to dip pizza in butter. Because I didn't even know it, but pizza actually does need a butter garlic dipping sauce.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B0Kgxk2CMAA40ol.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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Secondly, I am thankful for Otter Box, without which I would literally have no phone. I drop it myself from time to time whilst carrying the personal belongings of 3 people everywhere I go. But mostly the protection is needed from Katie, who just recreationally hurls my phone across the room almost every day.</div>
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I am also thankful for pimento cheese, for adding word pimento and letting us pretend that we aren't just eating cheese with mayonnaise added. </div>
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Did you know that I used to hate celery, ham, mayonnaise, and the rye chips in Chex mix? Now I only hate celery. No wonder I am literally the exact average male or female that can log on to a cardio machine without changing the age and weight setting. Basic and proud.</div>
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<br />I am also thankful for my family and friends and Harris Teeter for being there for me for lightbulbs, diapers, wine, and sustenance. But mostly wine.</div>
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And I know it's not the end of the year yet, but it has recently felt like the end of the world, so I'll share a few musings about 2017 while I got the ol' laptop out.</div>
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I am officially declaring this as the year that people stopped caring about hair. They don't care about their short hair, their new hair, their kid's bed hair. #shorthairdontcare? Guess what? No one else does either.</div>
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<br />Also, people need to stop saying "And just like that.." when their kids turn a new age? Just like, that your kid turns 4? Are you freaking kidding me? The last 4 years have been the longest of my life. If your parenting experience is happening "just like that", you aren't spending enough time with your kids.</div>
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Why do they make the towels at salons hot as fucking fire? It seems like if every nail tech in all the land has to shake the towel vigorously before use, lest it burn your skin off, that they should just universally lower the temperature of the towel warmer...</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://salonsmart.com/salon_hot_towel_cabinet_white_open_towels_LG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://salonsmart.com/salon_hot_towel_cabinet_white_open_towels_LG.jpg" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://salonsmart.com/salon_hot_towel_cabinet_white_open_towels_LG.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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Marilyn ---> Out</div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-17194443685359399572017-08-22T13:30:00.001-04:002017-08-22T13:30:36.512-04:00Fun Fact<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4Bc-Ek5T6fU/WZxqDjT31SI/AAAAAAAACgo/t56iBIUALyEam5FcMz3MRCUYi4UI3TLkACLcBGAs/s1600/Seesaw.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4Bc-Ek5T6fU/WZxqDjT31SI/AAAAAAAACgo/t56iBIUALyEam5FcMz3MRCUYi4UI3TLkACLcBGAs/s320/Seesaw.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Did you know that even when kids learn to sleep through the night, they never actually sleep through the night? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There is literally always something that makes it so you never, ever get a solid night's sleep. Sometimes they have a cough. Sometimes the rain is too loud. Sometimes the dark is too dark or it's not morning time enough. And, my favorite and most common culprit, is the damned stuffed froggy that falls down the side of the bed. Whatever it is, you're likely to be tired for the next 18 years I am convinced. Especially if you have a child that absolutely refuses to sleep past 6am.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The bad news about being a stay at home mom to little kids is that you basically aren't a real person. You don't get to shower without either advanced scheduling with your spouse or, better yet, an audience. I probably have one shower a week without Katie serving as my hype girl at the end of the tub while she gets gently misted by my shower spray. You are a human jungle gym, a hair play pony who is not allowed to have feelings in the root of her scalp, a servant, a short order cook, and an asswiper extraordinaire.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But the good news is that on those days when you really aren't a real person because you woke up 5 times the night before, you don't have to go to work the next day and pretend like you aren't more desperate for naptime than quitting time. Instead you get to sit around in your sweatpants until the spirit moves you to go play, while breaking up play doh fights and trying to find your coffee in 50 different locations. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Sometimes I don't know how my husband goes to work after nights like that and talks to actual high functioning adults. I am lucky that I only have to decide between grilled cheese and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as opposed to like, actual business things that matter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I do have to say, ever since Katie turned 18 months old life has been a lot easier. And funnier. I say more ridiculous things per day than I ever thought I would in my entire life. Today's highlights include:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>"Don't wipe your bottom with your finger ever again!"</em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em></em></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>"Please don't put your food in my armpit!"</em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em></em></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>"Stop throwing batteries at me!"</em></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fhGGRRlzLug/WZxp_9ZOyeI/AAAAAAAACgk/FEGRlev2SnYbKDT3mrjEolD90vGEyJhDQCLcBGAs/s1600/chair.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fhGGRRlzLug/WZxp_9ZOyeI/AAAAAAAACgk/FEGRlev2SnYbKDT3mrjEolD90vGEyJhDQCLcBGAs/s320/chair.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I simply cannot imagine the desire to have more kids because I feel like I am just now getting to a sort of sweet spot. Well, sweet-ish maybe. Or more like sweet-adjacent a few days per week. But it's getting good. I might actually be running out of things to complain about! But I'm sure I'll think of something.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Also, on a semi related note of ridiculousness, does anyone else feel like they have officially reached the age where, if you see a random piece of fuzz or rogue hair sitting on your body, you think, "Please don't be attached. Please don't be attached." Yea...me neither...</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-37485682666086891822017-05-23T07:31:00.005-04:002017-05-23T07:31:49.772-04:00Jetsetting<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/08/13/1407948153025_wps_2_13_AUGUST_2014_PARIS_HILT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/08/13/1407948153025_wps_2_13_AUGUST_2014_PARIS_HILT.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/08/13/1407948153025_wps_2_13_AUGUST_2014_PARIS_HILT.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.8px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You know your life is sexy when the recent thrills of the year include figuring out how to remove some mildew from your bathroom ceiling and finding your child's lovey that you thought was lost forever. Seriously, I was SO excited for both. It was a little scary.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Due to recent general life exhaustion, my sister and I decided to take an emergency "let's not let our kids make us have mental breakdown" trip last week to Florida. And, lo, it was glorious.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was so pleased to discover that I still know how to read AND sleep pass 6AM. And, wow, did I forget the simple pleasure of eating a meal without simultaneously tearing up bits of food for two kids while trying to entertain them and not throw food across the room. Sheer bliss.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I never fly these days, which is due to the fact that I never go anywhere, which is due to the fact that KIDS. But when I got on my second flight which I barely made because my first flight was so delayed, I was hungry because I totally missed lunch due to my delay. Which reminded me of a flight I took a few years ago, armed with a breakfast burrito. After taking a few bites, I noticed the guy next to me staring at my burrito. Trying to be nice but NEVER thinking he would say "yes", I asked him if he wanted half of it. He said "Yes"...and I continue to be amazed by the sociological event to this day. I really wished someone would offer me a half of their burrito on that second plane to Florida. No such luck. I accidentally went 7 whole hours without eating. I am basically a survivor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The only bad part of the trip was that I forgot my sweatpants because they give me life. And maybe also my 10 inch rectangular sunburn by my armpit that totally defies sunscreen and logic. I am not one with the sun. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Did I mention we were staying in Juno Beach which by all accounts appeared to be a retirement community? We took a step class one morning and burned at least 40 calories. And we were in the minority of people who did not have a bandaid holding at least one part of their skin together. Yet somehow my calves were sore for 3 days afterward.,,moving on....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On a side, but travel related, note, is anyone disturbed by the Charlotte Airport bathroom attendants? I appreciate the thought and the toxic amount of air freshener, but I simply do not need someone to bless me before,during, and after my urine stream. I think they could go ahead and cut that from the budget.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I got back at high noon on Sunday and was already on my first load of someone else's laundry by 12:30. Back to life, back to reality.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">It feels so good to have my batteries recharged. Right before school ends and I have 3 months of endless Katie. I am already looking forward to my next vacation again in another 3 years!</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-17002536786622647722017-04-27T08:31:00.000-04:002017-04-27T08:34:54.439-04:00Poor little underwear<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Kids are the best/worst. Sometimes it just does not seem like this can be real life.<br />
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I am probably just delirious from the worst night's sleep ever, but I cannot stop laughing right now and it's all because of poop. <br />
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Jack woke up around 2am last night (Oh, joy!) complaining of a stomach ache. I wasn't surprised because he hadn't pooped all day. I know he tried at school but quite frankly his tiny little butt is too small to fit on the toilet seat and I think he's afraid he will fall in. Any way, he wouldn't go back to sleep after several tries so we let/made him get in the bed to sleep with us/on my head. It was already a super pleasant situation but it got even better around 4am when we heard a wet noise and Grant started freaking out. I didn't really care because I was so tired and I am so used to poop in the potty, in the diaper, in the yard, that I just wanted to sleep through it. <br />
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Amazingly, Jack didn't wake up. That is why I can't stop laughing. How can anyone sleep through their own shart that is not a drunk frat guy!? Of course when we woke up this morning there was hell to pay in terms of laundry and butt crust. But I will forever remain amazed at this event.<br />
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I had a similarly delirious laughing fit/is this real laugh event recently when we were headed back from Hickory. Our kids are notoriously heinous in the car and we were so desperate towards the end of the journey that I told Grant to give Katie the ice scraper to play with. He decided to take it a step further and use the ice scraper as a hand puppet. You know, the old favorite muppet Mr. Ice Scraper. What has become of us?<br />
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Did anyone else wake up one day in their 30's and think they were looking at a poor old dead person in the mirror? I did and I am officially aging. <br />
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You know how they say the eyes are the windows to the soul? Well, my eyes look like our windows did that time Grant was weed eating and caused some sort of yard debris to fly into our window and shatter it into a million pieces. Botox, I'm coming for ya.<br />
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Also, I think my kids have made a secret agreement that they can never both be sweet at the same time. At any given time one of them will be an angel baby and the other is biting me and screaming at me that something is "NOT DELICIOUS!" <br />
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Katie regenerates more spunk every 30 minutes so she is hilarious but also quite an independent lady with an attitude. Jack is potty trained with is officially the crowning achievement of my life, but he did shart in his underwear last night so I'm not writing my own book about it just yet.<br />
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So that's what's new with me. Sharts, crows feet, and disbelief at my own life. Yesterday I meant to grab a sparkling water from the fridge and accidentally got a Bud Light instead. It hard to convince myself not to be that mom at the park with coldie.<br />
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And in case anyone was wondering why I never blog anymore, it's because I haven't had free time since before Katie was born and even to write this I am letting my kids eat markers and draw on themselves so I can have a minute of peace. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do!</div>
marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-16678403616717337862016-12-29T08:25:00.000-05:002016-12-29T09:20:50.978-05:00Hold Me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I felt like such a kid earlier this month when I was making my Christmas list. Until I realized that per my list, I am actually a geriatric. I asked for orthodic athletic shoes since I had plantar fasciitis this year, a sun hat, lest the sun harm my alabaster skin, high waisted work out pants because love handles, and a car seat. I'm 100 but with babies.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">LOTS of QT with this two this week.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I've never understood why people say they get so stressed out about the holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. For me, it's the week after Christmas when there is no school for your kids that is truly a scary time of year. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In an interesting turn of events, Katie is now the hilarious easy child while Jack has developed a second personality that, quite frankly, is an asshole. I think I'm allowed to call me own child an asshole, right? He also basically didn't give a shit about Santa during the whole entire month of December and now calls out for him to come back all day, presumably to make me feel bad. At least he's still sweet half the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Katie started waking up at 5:30AM this week, Jack won't go to sleep until 9:00PM, and we have nothing to do all day. My bloodstream still consists of 50% white wine and 50% pimento cheese from the holidays, so I'm fresh out of steam. I did attempt my first post Christmas workout yesterday and I think at least a gallon of straight Sauvy B came out of my pores. It's going to be a long week folks. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Last night I got so excited about this fortuitous dwarfing of my wine cup in the dishwasher. Now I can funnel it right down my throat...Send help.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But next week/2017 is when I dominate life. Hopefully. I'm 100% never having another child and I didn't have a baby that year so I'll be fresh out of excuses not to be a dime piece. Until then, instead of finding $20 bills from last year in my coat pockets, I'm finding year old snotty tissues from my kids, which is a fitting metaphor for life now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I hope the kids' teachers aren't alarmed when I run and jump into their arms next week when school starts again. </span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-22491434722473109112016-12-16T14:42:00.003-05:002016-12-16T14:42:48.855-05:00Dreams really do come true <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I, Marilyn, along with my sister Nancy, am finally going to see Mariah Carey in concert.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fanart.tv/fanart/music/494e8d09-f85b-4543-892f-a5096aed1cd4/artistbackground/mariah-carey-4dde8d481b3f2.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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It's been over 7 years in the making which involved a lot of highs: http://www.divasayswhat.com/2009/12/i-dreamed-dream.html <a href="http://www.divasayswhat.com/2009/12/i-dreamed-dream.html?m=1">link</a><br />
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And lows: http://www.divasayswhat.com/2009/12/butterfly-masacre.html <a href="http://www.divasayswhat.com/2009/12/butterfly-masacre.html?m=1">link </a><br />
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And a temporary boycott of Mariah because her ticket prices were absolutely insane.<br />
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And two not age appropriate memberships to the Honey B Fly fan club for access to pre sale tickets.<br />
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But it's really, really happening!<br />
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May 21 in Charlotte is the fateful date. I've got floor seats and enough excitement to make me explode...Now I just have to wait 5 months, find a place to stay, get a plane ticket for my sister, drive fours hours to get there, and figure out who will parent my children the following Monday morning. And that's it!<br />
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Mimi we are coming for you!</div>
marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-37691420546312387582016-10-20T13:46:00.000-04:002016-10-20T13:46:11.438-04:00I think you have the wrong person<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">Current status: On the verge of a casual breakdown/in need of hibernation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Reasons:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Husbands. Can't live with them...end of sentence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If I got paid a dollar for every time I found this scene in the shower when I got in for one of my world famous luxurious 45 second showers before the kids start really crying in their beds in the morning, I would have enough money to pay for the golf lesson that my husband took during his lunch break this week while I was sitting at home wrangling 2 little kids like a damn chump thinking he was hard at work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Does anyone else's husband make a secondary pile of laundry on the floor next to the actual laundry basket? What godforsaken event could have occurred with these clothes to make them unworthy of sitting in the same basket as the regular dirty clothes?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On second thought, forget I asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have decided I want to be more like a two year old and just do the most random shit ever. I already dress like one. I might as well act like one too. If they don't make any sense, why should I?! These are my people, after all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is a picture of Jack today while Katie was taking her morning nap. He decided a ninja turtle helmet was absolutely necessary for consuming a quarter of a box of uncooked ninja turtle macaroni noodles. I know I could have stepped in to stop him or cook them, but there is a 100% guarantee that if I put time and effort into his food, he won't eat it. So I let him crunch away. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'ma be real with you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Somehow I thought that by the time I was in my 30's I would be rich, thin, and seemingly ageless. Something went terribly wrong. I am currently 400 pounds over my "ideal" weight. I have no spare change. I am literally always tired. And I have stitches in my face because I wanted to get facelift at the plastic surgeon but all I could afford was to get two moles removed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Later that day I went to the store to get something even though Grant offered to go. I was thinking that I should probably care a lot more about running into people with blood coming out of my face band aids. But my choices were that, or staying at home with the kids for the 2,000th hour of the day while Grant went. Naturally I chose to go scare the general public with my Frankenstein face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The other day I bought a light bulb that was shockingly expensive. I said to the sales woman, "Well, at least it lasts for 20 years." To which she responded, "Yes, you will never need another lightbulb again." So, basically, I look like I'm 70? Next time I will spring for the facelift.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Life is great and I am so lucky to have two adorable, funny, sweet kids and a hard working, involved husband. Trust me, I know that. But damn life is intense right now. Half the time I am looking at my kids wondering how I got so lucky to have such good little angels. And the other half of the time I am getting yelled out because I couldn't fit all the play doh in Mr. Potato Head's butt,while counting down the seconds until either my husband comes home or until it is socially acceptable to start drinking. Unfortunately the latter always comes first. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Maybe my 40's are when the smooth part of life begins. Until then, play doh and wine on repeat. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I saw this picture in a magazine today. They are selling David Yurman jewelry and absolute bull shit.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-58848367126843849282016-09-26T20:17:00.000-04:002016-09-26T20:17:25.344-04:00Oh My Adulthood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Wow. Life. It's gotten a little intense.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It has me asking all these questions like:</span></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Am I a bad mom because I am only truly content when my kids are sleeping?</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">How can I lose 15 pounds while also drinking all the wine and eating only carbs?</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When will I ever actually have a good nights sleep again?</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">How the FUCK do people have more than 2 kids?</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You know, sweet stuff like that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Adulthood is a tricky little bitch. Adulthood is a series of lame victories like saving $400 on car insurance, only to then receive a $500 bill for medical expenses from your husbands vasectomy the very same day. Adulthood is being totally ok with that damn unexpected bill because $500 is way less scary than having a 3rd child. Plus I would spend way more than that on the wine I would have to drink to survive having another child.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And if adulthood is a tricky bitch, than parenthood is it's slutty little mistress. So fun, so exciting, so new, but sooooo much baggage.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And by baggage I meant literal bags of human excrement. All day every day. The day I get to toss one of my diaper pails is going to be a good day. It means I will be hauling 50% less human feces to the garbage every week! Yay! But I am far from that day. The only progress I have had potty training Jack so far is when he wanted to go potty AFTER pooping in his diaper (unbeknownst to me) twice. Which was messy. And then saying, "I need treat" 4,fucking,000,000 times after that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Parenthood also means thinking you are going to save money to buy a bigger house soon because your kids' shit is absoutely exploding from everywhere and your in laws have to sleep on the couch when they visit, but then realizing that spending your money on entertaining your kids and unloading them at preschool three days a week is WAY more life changing than more square footage, or even groceries for that matter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The crazy thing about having two kids is that there is no such thing as down time anymore. You can't pawn the one kid off on your spouse to be free because now there is always, always this OTHER kid that needs things. And she can't walk or talk or eat sandwiches, despite how much she wants to, so you always have to hold her or make sure she doesn't swallow more than the safe amount of Play Doh and it's just absolutely exhausting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So when your husband comes home, has a beer, then says he has a dry throat, then has a glass of wine, then says he needs to go to bed at 7pm without helping put the kids to bed, it isn't the best. But then when he reappears when the kids go to bed to say that he thinks he has enough energy to eat half of a brownie, it's kind of the worst. But it also means that you get the rest of the bottle of wine and to be alone for the rest of the night. Which, if you are anything like me, is the closest you will get to paradise for the next decade. So you sit back, drink that damn wine, watch that beautiful TV, and never forget that there is a half of a brownie somewhere in the kitchen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">And for today, that's enough.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-40188461126998013012016-07-26T12:44:00.001-04:002016-07-26T12:44:17.298-04:00Surprise! You're a parent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Parenthood is full of surprises. And I'm not just talking about the surprise of how much you will love your child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that coming. I'm talking about the other "surprises" that affect your general being in ways you never could have expected.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Some of things that have taken me by surprise since becoming a parent are the following:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- The line at Chik Fila is never, ever, ever not long. Even at 3pm when you think you will beat the crowd. Even at 10:20 before they even start serving lunch. But especially at 11:30 when you have a hangry toddler in the back seat crying for his "milky". And of course at 5:30 when you want to get your kid and babysitter dinner and you show back up to your house after the babysitter gets there and just before you've eaten all your kids' fries.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- How long you can hold your bladder without peeing in your pants. When you are out on the town with a toddler who has learned how to crawl under the bathroom stalls and away from you, you have a 30 second window to use the bathroom before they stop thinking toilet paper rolls are fun and flee the scene. When you have a baby and a toddler, you are just totally screwed and might have to hold it until you become nauseous.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- You really need only 3 hours of good sleep to survive life. And if you get 5+ you are Sleeping Beauty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- Kids really do say the darnedest things. Just this week I had Jack point out every single one of my spider veins on my legs and say, "Oh no, boo boo!" And then a separate young child asked my if I was having a baby because my "tummy was so big". I shutter at the thought of a full vocabulary from two children and the sweet things they might say to me then. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- Toddlers are selfish monsters. What's theirs is theirs and what's yours is definitely also theirs. I could spend all afternoon making Jack a kid friendly meal for dinner that he usually loves. But he will feed it to the dog in a heartbeat if it means he can steal my lettuce.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- As much as you can enjoy your children, when they are both asleep at the same time, there is no greater feeling of accomplishment in life. And then the exact moment you sit down, one wakes up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And finally,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">- There simply isn't enough wine in the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The surprises keep coming!!</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-47204195156641305582016-07-15T08:22:00.001-04:002016-07-15T08:22:53.537-04:00Mother of two<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here are some things I've learned since having a second child.<br />
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First of all, when you are trying to get ready to go somewhere, two kids is basically 100 kids. It is chaos. And someone always poops just when you think you are ready to walk out the door.<br />
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Second, and most of all, priorities and standards change. A lot.<br />
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I specifically remember a morning when I was trying to get pregnant a few years ago and I accidentally exploded a smoothie all over my kitchen. I was already overly emotional so I cried. Then Rosie came to me and I thought she was going to be my spirit animal and hug me in her dog way. But she just licked the smoothie off of my head.<br />
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Now if I can get shat on, boogerfied, and spill a fresh made meal on the floor before noon, I consider that a slow day.<br />
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Also, and this is more of a public acknowledgment of appearance, it is not lost on me that my kids are always dressed in pretty cute clothes and I walk around with them looking like an unshowered homeless person who has kidnapped them from their more put together mother.<br />
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Finally, free time is an absolute thing of the past. Hence the radio silence on the blog. Usually it isn't until 2:30 in the afternoon when both kids are asleep at the same time and then I just end up falling asleep in whatever chair I'm sitting in.<br />
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If I work out twice a week now I feel empowered. If I sleep past 6:30 I consider that a miracle. Things change. Your body changes. I feel like my stomach looks like an after picture of a Biggest Loser contestant before they have skin removal surgery. And my belly button looks like what I imagine a 6 month old baby elephant's anus looks like.<br />
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I'm a model.<br />
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All this is to say that I'm obsessed with my kids and I plan on "getting my body back" in about 2 years when Katie is in school too and I have some time to myself. For now I'm enjoying the kids, being balls deep in diapers and dookie, and loving life!</div>
marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-74328527027733985462016-02-25T19:51:00.004-05:002016-02-25T19:51:59.295-05:00Baby Daddy Gold<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Anyone who has been reading my blog since the beginning might remember </span><a href="http://www.divasayswhat.com/2011/04/express-yourself.html"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">a few posts</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> I did about the mind blowingly amazing observations that my husband Grant made about my outfits.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Well, he's back. And it's still unintentionally hilarious, but this time about babies. Here is a list of a few gems I've heard in the last 6 weeks of Katie's life:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">1) I asked him a few weeks back to do a little tummy time with Katie while I fed Jack dinner at my parents' house. His response was, "I really don't feel like taking my shirt off right now in front of everyone."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Apparently Grant thinks that tummy time is the same thing as skin to skin contact. But the fact that he didn't even give it an outright NO at the time is commendable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">2) When Jack was little he slept in a Rock N' Play for one week and then I started putting him in the crib, never really rocking him, he always went straight to sleep, and I never looked back. I kept telling Grant how nervous I was that Katie doesn't like the crib at all and I can't just throw her in there and make her sleep for a few hours. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">To which he told me, "Marilyn, she's not a crock pot!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am still trying to make her a crock pot. But it's not happening.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">3) One of my sweet friends who also had a baby recently sent me some delicious lactation cookies which were actually extremely delicious. Grant, AKA the Cookie Monster, couldn't resist them and started eating a few. When I told him they were lactation cookies he freaked out, "Am I going to start leaking milk out of my nipples!?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This reminded me of a friend in college who read on her birth control that "stopping this medicine may cause pregnancy" and thought that meant that she would experience immaculate conception just from not taking the medicine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">4) Someone dropped some bows off at our door from the church a few weeks back. I showed them to Grant and said they were cute. He asked me, "What are these?" He literally didn't know what a bow was. A true child of 4 boys. I can't wait until the first time Katie paints his nails over a cup of pretend tea.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I have an amazing picture somewhere of my dad wearing lots of clips in his hair. Which he agreed too only for a back rub when I was younger. Although I'm sure he would still go for that deal now. The man is a sucker for a back rub.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">5) That time he told me he was tired. He started talking and I truly couldn't hear him because of the vent in the bathroom, but I told him straight up, "I feel like you are going to start comparing our levels of tired, and that is just not a safe place to go right now". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You have to be honest in a relationship, lest you get the urge to cut a bitch in his full nights sleep after you've woken up 5 times already.</span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4SB1sMVFExs/Vs-gI0e8ZKI/AAAAAAAACZ0/YRFSvIbQiCg/s1600/fly%2Bswatter.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4SB1sMVFExs/Vs-gI0e8ZKI/AAAAAAAACZ0/YRFSvIbQiCg/s320/fly%2Bswatter.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Side note: They say the second child gets screwed and just has to do whatever the older child does and adhere to his schedule, but this is a picture of my oldest child playing with a flyswatter on top of a collapsed empty box of diapers while his little sister sleeps. I'd say the neglect goes both ways.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-73643441164963893622016-02-17T12:54:00.003-05:002016-02-17T12:54:26.132-05:00What a Relief<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zZBovglp8bc/VsSy8yj69PI/AAAAAAAACZY/iZ5iD5jsJAE/s1600/mariah%2Bcover.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zZBovglp8bc/VsSy8yj69PI/AAAAAAAACZY/iZ5iD5jsJAE/s320/mariah%2Bcover.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">According to my sources, AKA US Weekly, Mariah Carey never has to worry about money again now that she is engaged to a billionaire.</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7QLoDUQoTSk/VsSzDgsP3xI/AAAAAAAACZc/3ZQuUFm6aek/s1600/mariah%2Bbox.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7QLoDUQoTSk/VsSzDgsP3xI/AAAAAAAACZc/3ZQuUFm6aek/s320/mariah%2Bbox.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Thank goodness. I was worried about the poor girl. According to my research she only has a net worth of $520 million so it is a good thing her Prince Charming came along when he did!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This reminds me a lot of when Ricky Martin came out of the closet, which I never knew he was in. Not exactly hard hitting news.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-42391815552275670932016-02-14T14:59:00.002-05:002016-02-14T14:59:30.470-05:00That was a doozy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Well I basically just got to live out every girl's fantasy: Trying on formal wear 4 weeks post partum. I have a bad cold and my baby, who I once thought was a miracle baby because she slept for 6 hours straight two times, decided to wake up every 2 hours last night. So I was in no way physically or emotionally prepared for this shopping experience.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I mean, I knew I wasn't exactly looking slim right now. But holy hell. The lighting was not my friend. I looked like some sort of indistinguishable fat sack in most dresses. I almost lost all hope when I stumbled upon what can only be described as the <span class="st">Quinceañera </span>department of Dillard's. But thankfully there were some more conservative options in the adjacent old lady section. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I ended up with two options. One I'm almost 99% sure I will see a senior citizen also wearing at the event next weekend, probably looking way more fly than me. The other was more than I've ever spent on a dress ever but I think I could actually wear again. So it's pretty much a win-win.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I can justify spending more money on the second dress with the rationale of: Oh wait...I don't give a shit how much this cost because you are making me go to a formal event 4 weeks after birthing your baby. But also it's kind of pretty.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Long story short: thank God for Spanx.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/35/9f/2a/359f2a58282188ad622b0f9ca3f48ddc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/35/9f/2a/359f2a58282188ad622b0f9ca3f48ddc.jpg" width="232" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/35/9f/2a/359f2a58282188ad622b0f9ca3f48ddc.jpg"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Source</span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-12221553929136504412016-02-10T19:56:00.004-05:002016-02-10T19:56:58.254-05:00Wine > Fear<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I really didn't think I'd ever have the courage to take both kids out to a store together for a long, long time...and then I ran out of wine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So I did it! I took both kids to the grocery store, got my wine, beer, milk, and Diet Dr. Pepper,and no one had a meltdown. It was a major victory. And I didn't even buy a single solid food.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I'm sure someone was judging me somewhere because it was less than 40 degrees, I didn't get a single food item for my kids, and I was wearing a flannel shirt that made me look like a Latina cleaning lady. But I got my wine damnit, and that has made all the difference.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://winefolly.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/chardonnay-wine-in-a-glass-and-chardonnay-grapes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://winefolly.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/chardonnay-wine-in-a-glass-and-chardonnay-grapes.jpg" height="223" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://winefolly.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/chardonnay-wine-in-a-glass-and-chardonnay-grapes.jpg"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Source</span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I'm not going to start shopping on the reg with both kids by any means because it is too nerve wracking and because I think I already need shoulder surgery from carrying both of them at the same time. But for today, I am basically super woman (with a slight Chardo buzz).</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-6099219022554564662016-02-07T20:25:00.001-05:002016-02-07T20:32:06.401-05:00Kids Before Bros<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have read blogs and articles in the past from women saying they keep their marriages strong by putting their husbands first above all else, even their children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If you know any of these women, call Child Services immediately. They are definitely neglecting their children. I'm pretty sure I won't have another intelligent conversation with my husband for at least 6 months.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Having 2 kids is no joke. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://thegadabouttown.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/stick-figure-family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://thegadabouttown.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/stick-figure-family.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://thegadabouttown.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/stick-figure-family.jpg"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Source</span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We did actually speak in passing today, discussing how the 11th anniversary of our first date is coming up next week. Then we realized if we had never met one of us might actually get to watch the Super Bowl in its entirety or even go out in public and watch it at an establishment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I was even going to drink too much during the game and give my baby a bottle at her next feeding, but then she never went to bed in the first place and I ran out of time to drink all my drinks.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I don't know much these days. Mainly because I'm sleep deprived and living in a bubble with an emotional toddler and a new born. But I do know the secret to surviving the first few months of parenthood: Having friends nice enough to start a Meal Train (mealtrain.com) for you and a membership to Amazon Prime. That way you don't have to attempt to cook or leave the house to get essentials. Especially the unmentionables that a lady sometimes needs after giving birth and doesn't want to ask visitors to procure for her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Although the whole not leaving the house or cooking thing can get a little dicey. Today for lunch I fed my family mozzarella sticks from the freezer and a packet of tuna with crackers for lunch. Shockingly Grant did not seem too impressed!</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn2.mommyish.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/ecard1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://cdn2.mommyish.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/ecard1.jpg" height="224" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn2.mommyish.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/ecard1.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Oh, and I miss sleep. A lot. But we are all still alive so I consider that a success.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-35580301749408748692015-12-11T13:50:00.002-05:002015-12-11T13:50:59.715-05:00Tri-Color Lament<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The only thing I miss about working in an office this time of year is access to one of these bad boys:</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mileskimball.com/mileskimball/images/p315096b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mileskimball.com/mileskimball/images/p315096b.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mileskimball.com/mileskimball/images/p315096b.jpg"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Source</span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">At my last job I sat dangerously close to the break room (like 2 feet), so I had my choice of any holiday fatness my heart desired. Now if I want a special treat I have to actually walk my 8+ month pregnant behind into the store and buy it. It's all just too cliché and sad to do. So I mostly don't. Which is good.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And it's also so hard to justify buying 5 pounds of popcorn for yourself, no matter the time of year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But it doesn't mean I can't still dream of taking a little hand bath in a caramel, cheddar, original <span style="background-color: white;">menage trois</span>. Can I get an AMEN!?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">And Happy Holidays!</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-16378966217069327862015-11-02T10:51:00.001-05:002015-11-02T10:51:09.962-05:00Alcohol 3.0<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I have decided that in direct parallel to the 3 traditional trimesters of pregnancy, there are 3 phases of mentality towards drinking.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In the first stage/trimester, you are so excited that you're pregnant and so intent on keeping it a secret that you make it your personal mission to look nonchalant while drinking an O'Douls from a frosted glass or pretending to drink a glass of wine at a wedding while your husband actually drinks it and begins his own personal pregnancy journey of drinking for 2.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://c8.alamy.com/comp/E5E09K/young-boy-posing-in-front-of-a-poster-pretending-to-drink-wine-pouring-E5E09K.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://c8.alamy.com/comp/E5E09K/young-boy-posing-in-front-of-a-poster-pretending-to-drink-wine-pouring-E5E09K.jpg" height="320" width="199" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://c8.alamy.com/comp/E5E09K/young-boy-posing-in-front-of-a-poster-pretending-to-drink-wine-pouring-E5E09K.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Sure, it's a little hard to go cold turkey but you have much bigger things to think about so it's not that big of a deal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In the second phase of not drinking/2nd trimester, you are starting to show, still feeling pretty ill and tired, and have developed some sort of bodily 6th sense that tells you to hate the smell and taste of alcohol. You actually start thinking about giving up alcohol altogether because watching people get drunk is pretty unattractive and you love waking up feeling refreshed and clear headed. This is known as the easy, holier than thou phase.</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://cdn.vectorstock.com/i/composite/07,50/white-angel-cartoon-vector-1380750.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://cdn.vectorstock.com/i/composite/07,50/white-angel-cartoon-vector-1380750.jpg" width="304" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://cdn.vectorstock.com/i/composite/07,50/white-angel-cartoon-vector-1380750.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Then comes the 3rd phase/trimester. You can no longer remember a social function in which you were actually drinking. Your body's ability to ward off all desires of alcohol has vanished along with your waste line. You hate all drunk and think they all have serious drinking problems. And you want go into hibernation until a time in which you can come out and pop some mother f*cking bottles. Not a sip. Not some bullshit 3 ounce pour that the Today show swears is good for your heart. You want bottles and bottles of alcohol. Actually, you want one of those cascading champagne fountains that you see at parties in Vegas on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. But you want it only for you. Sorry Scott Disick. Get your own damn bottle service. Mama needs her bubbles!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/53d2c754e4b0984ca9aeb1f8/540062f8e4b02dfe6e94a5c4/5400665ee4b034368de4f55d/1409312726339/Champagne+Tower.jpg?format=1000w" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/53d2c754e4b0984ca9aeb1f8/540062f8e4b02dfe6e94a5c4/5400665ee4b034368de4f55d/1409312726339/Champagne+Tower.jpg?format=1000w" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/53d2c754e4b0984ca9aeb1f8/540062f8e4b02dfe6e94a5c4/5400665ee4b034368de4f55d/1409312726339/Champagne+Tower.jpg?format=1000w">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am currently in the trenches of Phase 3 and it is getting rough. However, I am beyond excited to only have 2 months left and to be able bid adieu to all my restrictions soon. But the next few holiday months will likely involve a lot of alcohol spectator sports for me and I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to handle it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It's funny because last time I was pregnant I was the last of all my friends to get pregnant and deliver. This time I'm the leader of the pack and some of my friends aren't even pregnant with their second yet. So after all this time I've been watching everyone drink their luscious glasses of red wine this Fall while I lurk around looking like this:</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_super/10/107715/2020157-batman_returns_11_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_super/10/107715/2020157-batman_returns_11_2.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_super/10/107715/2020157-batman_returns_11_2.jpg"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Source</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Just wait for summer ladies. This is going to be me while everyone else is still just hiding their little Zygote secret:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h306/Yajimari21/ScreenShot2013-11-12at43442PM_zpsb73d0bb5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h306/Yajimari21/ScreenShot2013-11-12at43442PM_zpsb73d0bb5.png" height="175" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h306/Yajimari21/ScreenShot2013-11-12at43442PM_zpsb73d0bb5.png">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But really I will have a 2 year old and an infant so I'll probably look just like I have the last 2 summers:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://olivethepeople.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/pit-stain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://olivethepeople.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/pit-stain.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://olivethepeople.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/pit-stain.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Either way you best believe there will be a drank in my hand on the beach!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8450663272711224404.post-82595095505426055842015-10-18T15:19:00.000-04:002015-10-18T15:19:28.169-04:00Too Much Potassium<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I think I mainly want Jack to start talking so that I can stop eating so many bananas. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">That probably sounds strange but we are at a really awkward stage in which he points at things like a champ, but doesn't actually verbalize most of what he wants. So whenever he points at a banana and says "nana", I excitedly grab a banana and ask him if he wants me to open it. He always nods yes. And clearly I am not going to deny my child a fruit if he's getting excited about it. But recently once it's open the thrill is gone. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/sjb35hlgRqyVhCChpVhY_banana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/sjb35hlgRqyVhCChpVhY_banana.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/sjb35hlgRqyVhCChpVhY_banana.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Apparently he never wanted to actually eat the banana. He just wanted to watch me open it. So I either end up adding it to our massive collection of frozen bananas for smoothies, or eating it myself. As a person who is in a major weight gain stage of life, I really don't need to be force feeding myself any unnecessary food. So Jack really needs to start talking so I can stop guilt-eating bananas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Just one of the many things in life you never thought you'd have to struggle with before having a child, like getting to banks before they are even open and wanting to eat lunch at 9am because your child woke you up at the ass crack of dawn.</span></div>
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marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10594314869077501194noreply@blogger.com1