November 30, 2009

Absolutely Adorable

This little girl is even better than the original. And her ending puts Taylor Swift to shame.

I love you New York!!!!!!!!!

Christmas Miracle

I'm not necessarily claiming this is pretty, but it is one of the most artsy things I've ever done. I put pine cones in a bowl with mini-ornaments and I thought of it all by myself. The pine cones are scented and they smell like luscious Christmasness.

I got this whole situation for about $10 from Target. (Oojaboo stuffed dog not included in purchase price. That's from my mom.)

I highly suggest that you copy this for the holiday season. Everytime I walk in this room the smell makes me happy and the dog cheers me up. It's good to be simple!

Groove is in the house

Move over Pandora. Grooveshark's in town. is the picky man's, allowing users to choose exact songs they wish to play instead of something that may or may not even be in the same musical universe as the song you originally chose, as it is with Pandora.

Pick your fave tunes, add it to a playlist, and it's like free iTunes…as long as you are still chained to your desk/computer.

This website found me at the perfect time, as I had just passed my monthly Pandora music limit. Thanks I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
Image courtesy of

Daily Mariah...Live

I watched 'The Adventures of Mimi: The Voice, The Hits, the Tour' with my family this Thanksgiving holiday. Nothing says "gracias" like an hour and a half of Mariah Carey in concert wearing nothing but a sequined bra/underwear set and a see through cape. (See picture above, courtesy of

Unlike many demanding divas in concert, Mariah gave us what we all wanted. All the goodies and the oldies like Heartbreaker, Hero, Always Be My Baby, Shake it Off, and so many more.

Personally, my favorite moment was the Boyz II Men cameo. Although, sadly, only 3 of the Men remain, they have morphed into a more gangsta trio then I could have ever imagined possible back in the End of the Road flannel shirt days. They truly are Boyz no more.

Quote of the Day

"Honey, I don't look. I'm looked at."

November 24, 2009

Just Lost. No Found

Excuse my french, but WTF?!

Whitney Houston has talked through yet ANOTHER song! This time on the Dancing With the Stars finale.

Why bother making a comeback if you're not really going to come back? Do you really think that will be well received for any profitable duration?

Please! She didn't sing ANY choruses, any verses, or anything else for that matter! If you're going to talk through a song, do a dramatic monologue. Don't just plainly speak through a formerly hit song.

It's over Whitney. But thanks for driving home the fact that crack really is whack. It can ruin the voice of even the most formerly angelic performer.
I can't copy the link for some reason, but type this into and you can watch it. Whitney Houston - I wanna dance with somebody - DWTS. You will not be impressed.

Modern Family = Best New Show Ever

Don't believe me?: watch the Pilot

It is seriously hilarious. My fave new show!
You can also watch all the episodes on It's magically delicious!

Quote of the Day

"He's a smarty pants... he uses big words like 'particularly' and 'delicatessen.'"

November 23, 2009


I will say one thing, Harold is a dedicated salesman!

Nutrition Information - Paula Deen

Her food really is bad for your health!

I'm a little teapot

I was asked by one of my readers to post a little commentary on the mystery/hate of the hand on hip 'arm sliming' pose that a large part of the population have adopted in pictures.

While doing some research I found that someone had already dug in to this cultural phenomenon and commented better than I ever could. Check it out here:

Favorite observation: "Of course, O.G. bitches like Dame Judi Dench will never submit to the tyranny of the teapot."

This is even better than J Lo's fall

Hahaha, I don't know how I missed this last night!

Oh, wait, yes I do. I stopped watching because Adam Lambert's performance was horrible and I hate his song and don't think he will be successful. ANYWAY, check this out. It's hilarious.


Hopefully no one will press charges, but Alicia Keys committed a serious act of theft last night at the American Music Awards. And she went way back in time to do so.

Outfit - stolen from Janet Jackson a la Rhythm Nation, circa 1989

Backdrop - stolen from Michael Jackson's 1979 album cover, Off the Wall

Backup dancers - kidnapped the Fly Girl's from the mid-90's sketch comedy series In Living Color
I love the song Alicia, but crime does not pay.

I knew this was going to end badly

Lost and Found - The Whitney Houston Addition

She's lost that magic touch, it's official.

Compare the montage of her being awesome at the beginning versus the actual mediocre performance that follows.

She didn't belt out, she didn't sweat profusely, and she apparently didn't even suck in in that tight, tight white dress. She's lost it.

Futhermore, I disagree that she should've gotten an award essentially for quitting drugs and singing again. How about those of us who never started doing drugs? Don't I get anything?

In other Houston/Brown news, Bobby Christina is looking much better with age and has lost all of her baby weight. However, it might be time for an orthodontic intervention...sooner than later!

Give Peace a Chance

I was watching the American Music Awards last night and saw a performance by Eminem and a few of his buddies.

I got to wondering how old he might be so I looked it up...37 years old. I also discovered that one of his musical genres is listed as "horrorcore". Wow, that sounds intense.

Call me crazy, but I'd say it's ok, if not encouraged, to get to an age in your life when maybe you don't threaten to kill people and brag about rape and assault charges.

These are actual lyrics from that his song Crack a Bottle:

In this corner : weighing 175 pounds,with a record of 17 rapes, 400 assaults, and 4 murders,the undisputed, most diabolic villain in the world :Slim Shady!

I'm going to go ahead and speak for mankind when I say that this is NOT something to brag about. Join the Rotary Club, purchase some affordable khakis, and start taking some Centrum Silver, Marshal Mathers, because the time has come for you to grow up homeboy.

Taylor Swift is a 19 year old American...

Not a 30 year old of Asian decent.
She is so cute and sweet and well-mannered. But she also wears entirely too much makeup for a 19 year old and/or a human.

Also, this picture on the left is literally the only picture I could find of her without her signature cat eyes. That can't be a good thing. Meow!

Quote of the Day

"I worry if people think I'm mean or stupid, good or real. Really I'm nice and smart, evil and imaginary"

November 20, 2009

Favorite Movie Moment

Note, not 2:30 where Jamal performs in the whistle register.

2:31, when Whoopie (nee Sister Mary Clarence) gives that "Who did what in the where?" face. Classic Whoopie!

Can I get an Amen?!

There really are many levels of being a diva. And OF COURSE you can be a good or bad diva. Just like you can be a good or bad witch...wait, those aren't real.

What I didn't expect though, is the genius that is the phrase "girl next door diva". I would have given up today's perfect gold jewelry ensemble to have been the mastermind behind this. Brits always do it better. (Except for dental hygiene).

Quote of the Day

"Look, someone sent you flowers,or as I like to call them poor people's jewelry!"

How can a finger so little, hold so much power?

Have you ever asked yourself, "What is it about a pinky ring that makes me feel like an entirely different person?" I know I have!

Wearing a ring on your pinky finger truly gives you an experience that no other finger can offer. Forget the traditional ring and middle fingers. HECK, even the usually outrageous pointer finger looks boring compared to this little guy.

When you wear a pinky ring, you are really putting it out there, saying "This is my pinky. This is my ring. This is going to happen!" And I respect that.

(P.S. Neither one of those are my hand. I cut my nails on the reg.)

November 19, 2009

Oh Happy Day!

I only have one more banana on my desk, which means tomorrow is Friday!! (I have a rare disorder where I can only count in bananas).

Thank goodness the week is almost over and the holidays are just around the corner, because the last few weeks have been a doozy in terms of my level of boredom.

T.G.I.T. is the new T.G.I.F...which coincidentally is the new black.

Enjoy your evenings ladies and gents, only one more day until the freakin' weekend!

Random Act of Diva

Joining the Holiday Party Committee!

Even though I am the newest person in my office and I have almost negative creativity, I joined the Holiday Committee this year. Not only did I get to spend an entire hour away from desk, I also made some new friends. AND I have a guaranteed future outing for party decorations AND a Sushi lunch with the whole gang.

I couldn't be happier about this decision. If you haven't joined your company's Holiday Committee, I suggest you do so immediately!

'Tis the season!

Quote of the Day

"Honey, you're simple, you're shallow, and you're a common whore. That's why we're soul mates"

Daily Mariah

This is so unfair. At her Christmas concert in London, Mariah has been refused her demands for white kittens and doves!

I feel like this denial somehow implies that those requests are "high maintenance". If a diva wants to get festive, let her be!

November 18, 2009

The definition of devastating!

Sooo dramatic! And so petite!

Stagefright Much?!

I feel ya little buddy. This happens to me too. But it's not as funny for me when I do it.

You really must click on the link. Now? NOW!

Seriously, quit it

The duck face is so "me in high school thinking it made my face look skinner and me look cooler". Boy was I wrong!!
This look has been done and overdone.
So, kindly, stop it.


Check out this fresh take on the drunkest guy ever.

This just makes me laugh

If you know you are going to photographed out the wazoo, then maybe you should wear something that covers up yours...
Likewise, if you have to enter your vehichle horizontally, you're doing/wearing something wrong.

Usually I don't support over analyzation of celebrities' bodies, but she is just asking for it here. The fourth picture down is def my fave.

Quote of the Day

"I don't read. I'm read to."

Daily Mariah

It looks like Mimi must have missed that day in health class when they taught that a steady diet of mac "n" cheese and champagne might make you gain weight.
Accordng to the National Enquirer, known for its integrity and honest reporting, Mariah has gained a whopping 42 pounds since marrying renaissance man Nick Cannon in April 2008.

Rule of thumb, never gain more than your shoe collection weighs. And everyone knows Mariah's got a lot of shoes!

November 17, 2009


Put on your walking shoes divas because you've got exactly 16 hours to get in, get out, get deals, and get super fly in Macy's Biggest One Day Sale of the Year happening tomorrow from 7am until 11pm.
Plus, there is an additional $10 coupon at the link below.

Oh, and if you feel like thinking of other people, you could probably find some good Christmas gifts!

P.S. My sis told me about this. Thou shalt give credit where credit is due.

Stupid Lyrics to Songs That I Love

And I really do love this song:

This is a montage of the extraordinary and deeply bossy lyrics from this masterpiece (
Pat your weaves ladies pat pat pat your weaves ladies watch it while he check up on it,

Now pose for the camera now flick flick flick, pose for the camera

Do an old school dance an old school dance an old school dance do an old school,

Drop drop to your knees arch your back girl shake shake it like that alley cat.

Shake ya derriere in them Dereon’s

Do the scissor leg, touch ya heels touch ya toes

Do the Naomi Campbell walk, Naomi Campbell walk

Snap for the kids, snap for the kids

Snap in a circle three times

My favorite is definitely when she tells us to pat our weaves. Because that's just straight up necessary. Everyone needs a good pat every now and then.

And why, oh why, would you need to snap for the kids? Is that a charity I've never heard of?

Either way, I love it. Go on with your badself Beyonce.

With All Due Respect...

This is the least clever tribute name for someone that I have ever heard.

Introducing the 'Crikey steveirwini'. I can only assume that there was some sort of naming quota involved with this failure. That's like someone naming the sun Mamacita-i when I die. Not good enough.

Mother Nature, did you know about this?

This sounds really cold and unnatural. For the first time in my life, I don't wish that I lived in China.

Ding Dong Ding Dong Christmas Bells are Ringing

My boss just gave me one of these Candy Cane Joe-Joe's from Trader Joe's. The delicious peppermint flavor is still tingling in my throat 30 minutes later. Yum!

These would be the perfect holiday party treat! Hop on over to your local Trader Joe's and pick up a bag to delight and mystify your holiday guests. They're sure to think you're the hostess with the mostest once they taste these little circular drops of Christmas heaven.

Disclaimer: I repeat, these would be perfect for a holiday party. NOT to have idly sitting in your house. They are dangerously delicious. I take no responsibility for any damage done to one's figure if a Candy Cane Joe-Joe's binge takes place.

Feliz Navidad divas!

Quote of the Day

"I was going to have my staff read it, but I was afraid knowledge leads to freedom."

Daily Mariah

It sounds like things are looking up for Mariah. I am LOVING the butterfly pitcher's mound in her new music video. Nothing says baseball like butterflies, pop divas, and an 8-octave range.

November 16, 2009

Funny Thing I Heard on Campus

Gym staff member: "I don't think ____ likes me. MAKE HIM LIKE ME! I like it when people like me!!"


A diva must exude or at least feign confidence.

You can find the term "audible desperation" in exactly zero definitions of the word diva. And I know Merriam and Webster got my back on this one.

Tyra Banks is the Devil


Is this doesn't prove that Tyra Banks is the devil I don't know what does. Only Satan or her spawn would create this combination of true evil.

I stopped watching America's Next Top Model years ago because I decided to start loving myself. But if I hadn't, this would be the nail in the coffin.

Tyra Banks + Kimmora Lee Simmons is like a proverbial one-two punch in the gut. And KLS, ain't nothin fabulous about that.

Quote of the Day

"I'e bitch slapped the law and the law won"

Bombs Away

Looks like it's going to be an early morning tomorrow. The Leonid Meteor is supposed to be in prime viewing status tomorrow morning so check it out if you're up!
P.S. Because of the state of the economy, this show is completely free of charge. Enjoy!

November 13, 2009


How not hardcore is it to name your gang "Diva"?

Hopefully I'm not putting my life in danger by posting this. But it really is a bad gang name!

Side Note

I'm getting my haircut today at the Aveda Institute. Not because I need a haircut, but because I desperately need some pampering. According to my sources, since they are students, they are required to perform at least one "ritual" on you while you are getting your haircut.

I'm assuming this means a mini-facial or a hand rub, and not a séance, so I'm extraordinarily excited. Bonus feature, I get to leave at 3pm to get the hair did! Can I get an AMEN!?

I will be sure to report on the quality of the pamperation.

*Not pictured - me