March 30, 2020


You know what is funny about the Corona Virus?  Say it with my homeschool students...N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

However, there is one thing that makes me laugh everyday.  The snack bag.  You see, I always lamented the days of the month when I got the preschool snack bag on a Friday for Monday's snack.  I hated having to keep it out of the way all weekend without forgetting to fill it on Monday.  Well guess who got the snack bag the Friday before the 165 day "weekend" we are currently surviving.  I'm keeping it safe and praying I will be able to bring it back before next Fall.

Speaking of schedules and the general passage of time, my new homeschool schedule went from something ambitious to something like this:
7am-6pm: Survive
6pm+: Wine

On the topic of wine, anyone else feel like they could have a Coachella level tolerance after this pandemic is over?  

I totally have a Homeschool Hangover.  First of all, I never sleep through the night anymore.  It's always hard to go back to sleep when you wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about random things you have to do the next day, like go to the dentist or buy more ham.  But when the world is ending it is considerably more difficult to get back in that REM cycle once your mind starts racing.  Now when I wake up in the middle of the night this is more my train of thought:
- Oh gosh I have to homeschool my kids again tomorrow.  
- Please God don't let my kids get sick.
- I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow so we can leave the house.
- Do I have enough Sauvignon Blanc to last 3 months?
- Shit I promised the kids we would make Rice Crispy Treats tomorrow.  Note to self to not stress eat the entire pain of treats.
- Should I be offended that no one nominated me for the 10 push up challenge on Instagram?
You know, just normal apocalyptic stuff like that.

It is also so hard to get out of bed in the morning when you have nothing real to do.  Which I am pretty sure is the first sign of depression.  But I refuse to complain because I have a lot of perspective about this and know how lucky I am to have a home and resources to teach my kids.  

My heart really does break for those that are losing their jobs and any sense of normalcy and structure they need.  I also feel really bad for cabbage and swiss chard, because no matter how bare the grocery store is, those two undesirables are always still available.

My kids' rogue sock situation is out of control.  I thought it was bad before, but now that we are home all day everyday, its like they are multiplying and covering the floor of every room in the house.

I really need to clear my calendar because all of the calendar tasks reminding me of activities that are cancelled and Evite alerts to post photos of my son's Birthday party that never happened are really bumming me out.  I remember one time when I was 13 I accidentally took a nap in the afternoon and woke up panicked that I had missed my friend's Bar Mitzvah.  Now if I accidentally take a nap I wake up terrified that I don't have anything to do for the next 2 months.  One of those things is true, and I can assure you I made it to do the electric slide at that Bar Mitzvah so hard.

I am so very curious to see if summer goes on as usual since our kids will have missed so much school.  The part of me that wants my kids back to a normal schedule hopes that summer will be abbreviated so the kids can get back to learning ASAP.  And the other extra large part of me that will not have been to a gym in 4 months wants the whole bathing suit season cancelled completely. 

Watch out for me when this thing is over.  I might start French kissing strangers just because I will be so happy to interact with other humans.  Stay safe and stay sane everyone!  Even if I haven't talked to you in 10 years I promise I miss you.