January 29, 2010

Emergent Diva

At first this kind of makes you almost cry.

Then it gets way awesome.

This girl is a major lil' diva!


Afternoon Delight

I love days when you have a commitment right after work, and you know you can't make it to the gym even if you wanted to.

It eliminates so much internal struggle.

Happy Friday divas!!!

Does Renee Zellwegger ever NOT wear workout clothes?

Also, she has one pair of pants. This much is clear.

Pet Peeve

I can't stand it when tragedies happen, and people say things like "Oh my God, I would've been on that flight if I'd left a day earlier."

"If I had studied abroad there I would have been right where that bomb went off!"

"I am flying on the same flight that crashed a year ago today!"

Well, guess what? You didn't, you weren't, and it's not the same.

I was almost going to be a super model but then I suddenly wasn't skinny or pretty enough.

It's not a coincidence. The two events are unrelated.

Next time tragedy strikes and you are still around to think about how it could've almost, maybe, hypothetically been you...Shut up, because it wasn't.

You go girl!

I volunteered for two projects at work today. One is an actual volunteer activity.

Note to self: Start volunteering for more things to help other people, so that you can ultimately feel better about yourself! Altruism at it's finest! ;)

Issue Advocacy

While, as always, DSW remains a bipartisan, universally recognized global force, I would like for you to watch this youtube video all the way through about a NY beverage tax that lawmakers are trying to impose.

This is something that my sister works against all over the country, and she needs your support! Please watch the video all the way through, I can't emphasize that enough. There may be a cash prize at the end of the video!

Or maybe you have to watch it all the way through to count as a "view". Either way, do a diva a solid and spend a mere 40 seconds to check out the issue.
Bonus feature: David Corona has a very soothing voice.

Tell me, have you seen him?

Does anyone know why this man, Salman Rushdie, might be on the UNC campus?

I have either seen him or his uncanny lookalike almost 5 times this week and I'm so curious!

Could Padma Lakshmi and her arm scar be close by!??!

Bittersweet Butterflies

It looks like I missed one hell of a show...and a finger wave too! Although I am still $200 richer, with 2 extra vacations days in my future since I didn't go.

Sadly for Mimi, this venue (which is relatively small as far as venues go) wasn't even sold out!

This just goes to show that in tough economic times, sometimes even butterflies fall.

Quote of the Day

"That goat stole my flask, what was I suppose to do, not punch it?"

January 28, 2010

This is awesome

"The 3,544ft Southern Sky Column is one of 3,000 in the Zhangjiajie National Forest Park and became the inspiration for the magical 'floating peaks' in" Avatar.

"It a real-life tower of quartz-sandstone deep in the rugged mountain terrain of southern Hunan in China."

I want to go to there.

Read more:


One of my favorite medical mysteries of all time has ended in great success! Lakshmi gets to go to school!!!

This beautiful little girl was born with 8 limbs, 2 torsos, and the belief that she was a goddess. Now this lil' cutie is 4 years old and heading off to get her edumucation on!


This just proves that it pays to seek out medical mysteries, learn everything about them, and look for updates on them all the time!

Image via http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1246431/Lakshmi-Tatma-The-little-girl-limbs-worshipped-deity-starts-school.html

Quote of the Day

"Lordy, lordy.. Look at all the freaks...!"

January 27, 2010

What's in a name?

I love how sometimes just a cute little name can make something miserable sound kind of fun.

That being said, I think I am going to go to an exercise class this Sunday called, I kid you not, "Butts, guts, and thighs".

Check, check, and double check!

My head hurts, I need to talk it out

I'm not going to criticize these people's decisions, because it is their life to live how they want (and because I'm afraid my anonymous hate commenter will say something mean to me).

However, I am going to try to say this out loud to see if I'm understanding this correctly.

Thomas and Scott are expecting a child. Scott is the one carrying the baby, because he still has female organs on the inside. However, he is attracted to men and wants to be a guy.

Herego, Scott = pregnant, possibly former straight, transgender woman, who is a technically a lesbian b/c Thomas is a "man".

Thomas, who also used to be a woman, has 2 kids from a previous relationship with a woman. So he used to be a lesbian with a woman and is now a gay man with another former woman.

Herego, Thomas = transgender woman, who is also technically a lesbian and a gay man.

So these two people used to be lesbian girls, and are now gay men with a baby on the way.

Doesn't it seem like they could've skipped the middle steps and just been lesbians? Either way, I hope the child is happy and healthy and gets counseling really early in life.

This is sooo confusing. If I had to figure all this out before I'd even had my first child, I'd just go live on a convent.

Quote of the Day

"If I'm not back in ten minutes, you can have my drink. Oh, God, what am I saying?! That's crazy."

January 26, 2010

I wish I'd thought of this when that parked car jumped out at me and dented my whip

Quintessential - part deux

Flash forward about 8 years...I'm in my first of 5 writing classes that I signed up for.

After not being able to find a place to park for 15 minutes, I arrived to the class about 2 minutes late. Not ideal, but no big thang.

Then I hear this "Someone get this girl a name tag! We don't know who the person is!"

And immediately, it struck me like lightening! I was in the presence of a pure bred quintessential, only this time it was the evil kind that never stops talking and thinks they are hilarious.

My skin crawled as she later told her part of her group story. Instead of her character going to "the store to get milk." She went to "the stooooore to get miiiiilk."

Every word she uttered was a minimum of 10 seconds, accompanied by a dramatic facial expression that always opened her mouth just enough to let out a little bit of coffee breath. I never trust anyone who drinks coffee after 8pm.

I have 4 more sessions of this class and God willing I won't ever have to be in her group. If I do, maybe I can write about some sort of juxtaposition of good and evil quintessentials. I'm sure that will make me a lot of new friends.
Basically, quintessential is the new "je ne sais quoi". Only now it's not really a compliment.

Quintessential - part uno

Many moons ago, my sister interned and lived in a group house in DC with about 8 other people she'd never met before.

Before I came to visit her one time, she tried to describe her bunk mate to me. "She is really quintessential."

Well, I tried to explain that that isn't how the word works. You have to be the quintessential something (i.e., romantic, nerd, jock, etc.).

Response: "Well, whatever, she is really just a quintessential."

I finally come to meet this girl and it turns out she was right. She was, down to her core, a quintessential. I know this doesn't really make sense, but it was something I could just feel in my gut. She was the quintessential everything and the quintessential nothing. She was, in essence, just a quintessential.

The definition of this word is actually the most perfect embodiment of something. So technically it works, I just don't know what that something was.

She was actually really nice. We nicknamed her quintessench....to be continued...

On the Wings of a Crashing Plane

While I respect the fact that Jake from "The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love" seems to be genuinely "looking for a wife", I respect even more his ability to bring the drama!

Even though he was only required to eliminate 2 girls on last night's episode, he eliminated 4! And, at one point, he even went about 600 yards out of his way to burn the extra rose, instead of just throwing it away, or putting it in a compost pile.

And while I do love the unnecessary drama, I think my favorite part of the show is his and Chris Harrison's constant referral to how Jake came here to "find a wife".

A) That is sooo not how love and nature work, duh! and B) That makes it sound like he came to a trade show to pick one out, or like he is an Avatar and he is waiting to see which girl his body is the best host for.

For a show that goes so over the top with red roses, elaborate dates, hair dos, and cocktail dresses, they sure don't romanticize this whole "finding a wife" jargon.

That said, I hope it's Ali. That said, who cares who "wins", because I'm sure that relationship will end before the reunion airs anyway.

Quote of the Day

"This isn't the kind of responsibility you can just run away from - like a hotel bill or a crying baby!"

January 22, 2010

And the award goes to...

Cristina Yang and Owen What's His name from Grey's Anatomy have received the Ugliest Couple of the Century award.

Congrats guys, you made really heinous facial expressions to get this far, and were all around unpleasant to watch. You deserve it!!

Quote of the Day

"We had to take a jetski... that's Russian for 'jetski'."

January 21, 2010


I just had a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper. So the no soda thing lasted a total of 4 days.

In my defense, it was free and right in front of my face. Since I didn't eat the pizza I simply had to splurge!

Whatever. It's bubbly and delicious. And I'll quit again right after I finish it ;)

Misery Loves Pizza

Because it is "clean up day" at my office, we got free pizza for lunch in the break room. Additionally, because I am trying to be healthy, I brought my own salad and was the randar who didn't eat pizza with the rest of the gang.


Also, because it is "clean up day", we are allowed to wear jeans. I apparently did get this memo so I'm the only one not wearing jeans.


Because I never see my coworkers outside of work, this is the first time I've seen them in jeans. Something about seeing your coworkers in street clothes for the first time is really funny. It's the perfect time to differentiate the mom jeans from the boys.

Semi-awkward. Very entertaining.

It's gonna be a doozy

I feel like I slept like this last night.
My necks hurts soooo bad.
But fear not. My hair in no way resembles this guy's. Nor am I wearing a man tank.

Quote of the Day

"It's cute when boring people fight."

January 20, 2010

Land's Beginning

I think that Land's End should change their name to Land's Beginning, because they are always cutting edge when it comes to practicality and comfort.

Today, after waking up in my luscious and soft Land's End sheets, I got dressed for work, choosing a well-priced Land's End button down, collared shirt...which I did NOT have to iron, because they take care of that for you!!

Ususally I don't even wear these types of shirts to work, but today I did because I have something important (and top secret) to do after work, so I needed to look a little nicer.

Around 9:30am this morning, terror struck! I spilled a little bit of hot chocolate on my shirt! This was not going to be good for my secret mission.

Luckily, to my delight, I just dabbed a little itty bit of water with a paper towel, and VOILA! It disappeared. What a relief!

Here's to the future of low-maintenance clothes! Thanks Land's Beginning!! You're really swell!
Bonus feature: By shopping at Land's End, you can save almost a whole decade of your life by becoming your mother 10 years earlier than expected !

Spontaneous Resolution

I randomly didn't drink any diet sodas on Monday. Then I didn't drink any on Tuesday kind of on purpose.

Now it's Wednesday and it's official intentional. I always hear people say sodas are terrible for you so I've decided to quit. That, and the fact that I could really use that $30 extra dollars I probably spend on sodas every month.

I already feel a difference! Unfortunately, so far, it's a negative difference. I have been in a major funk the last 2 days and I am very sleepy. This could be psychological, because I was typically only having 2 diet cokes a day.

But either way, I do not like knowing that something like a soda could make me in a happy or sad mood. I want to control my own destiny from now own, so VIVA LA AGUA!!

Wish me luck! I don't really care if I succeed, because I've got bigger fish to fry when it comes to beautifying myself, but it's always fun to have a little experiment!

Bottoms Up!

Kudos Mariah. You took lemons and made them into diva champagne.

After getting toasted at the 2010 Palm Spring International Film Festival, Mariah is apparently making the wise choice of parlaying that infamy into her own brand of wine/champagne.

My guess would be that if this champagne or wine is anything like Mariah herself, it tastes good at first, then probably makes you do crazy things and leaves you with an insane hangover.

Quote of the Day

"I never understood the mating rituals of the poor."

January 15, 2010

Just a thought...

I just left the gym. Whoever convinced men that keeping their sleeves on their shirts was a bad thing, should be sent to a maximum security prison. Because clearly this person is a menace to society.

Down with man-tanks!!!


I get to leave work at 2pm today. So, when you add that to my exciting travels ahead, today is like SUPER FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!

A juicehead Friday, if you will!

Sisterhood of the Traveling Divas (part deux)

This weekend I'm going to DC to see some of my favorite ladies in all the land!

I am sooooooooooo excited and I hope I have lots of diva tales to tell upon my return. So far I know that there will be wine, shopping, exercise, Golden Globes, and cocktails at someone's brand new condo! If this isn't the recipe for awesomeness, I don't know what is.

Furthermore, I will be traveling with my giant new handbag and a rolling suitcase. Is it just me, or does that combination make anyone else feel like an important, well-dressed diva fashionista?!

This just in from my sister: "I'm scary excited for you to get here :)"
Also, this picture is from her, featuring none other than PINOT GRIS (see http://divasayswhat.blogspot.com/2009/10/random-act-of-diva.html). What an OOJaboo!

That makes me so happy! DC is about to get a lot wierder in approximately 11 hours!! Woo hoo!!


Last night I went to an Arbonne party at my cousin's house. It's an all natural skincare line and we got enzyme peels and got to sample lots of products. It was luscious.

I had no idea what it was going to be like, but I knew that this was a no-lose situation from the beginning, as wine and apps are my passion. And there were some delicious apps!

Sadly, I wasn't able to buy anything, because I'm still struggling just to afford by Clean & Care facewash.

Nonetheless, I think I found a hair and makeup person for my wedding and I couldn't be happier. She used to be a makeup artist to the stars (like Oprah!), so it's really fitting for me, as VIP is the only way I roll!

Do you use fancy skincare products? Share your thoughts!

Little Jersey Shore

This is amazing. In comparison, it's difficult to say which group of guidos/guidettes is actually more sophisticated. See for yourself!


Quote of the Day

"You're like the mother I had committed against her will."

January 14, 2010

Push, push, push

I feel like I am in my third trimester of pregnancy, which I will nickname Winter, and it is miserable.

I can't wait until the end of March when my precious little baby Spring comes into the world. She will bring with her warmth, sun, and the ability to get out of bed in the morning.

This third trimester is killing me. My lower back hurts, my knees ache, and just this morning I woke up with a curious thought? Why did my face feel like an ice cube? Oh, sweet delight, the heat went off in the middle of the night again. Nothing like a house below 50 degrees to wake up you right up in the morning and put you in the best mood ever!

Just three more months...I just hope that I can get through it without any further complications to my psyche and/or my heating system. Hee hee hooo. Hee hee hooo.

Side note: I am not actually with child. It was just the most dramatic metaphor I could think of to describe surviving winter. Mazel tov!

Quote of the Day

"Tears, booze. I love the holidays too."

January 13, 2010

Tyra Banks is the Devil

Really Tyra? Really?

Nothing about this topic should merit it's own talk show segment.

You are officially the most rediculous person. Ever.

Do not buy these shoes

Yes, they may be a good deal.

Yes, they may have a baby pink swoosh accent (which I hate).

And, yes, they may even be comfortable.

But up close, these shoes are nothing more than glorified nurses' shoes. If you wear them, people WILL stare at your feet. A LOT.
They are blinding white rockets.

You have been warned!

P.S. They are only flattering if you want your feet to look significantly larger than they already are.

Quote of the Day

"Well, you're all boring and I'm funny. Smell ya later"

January 12, 2010

The Internet is a cruel mistress

An ad with this image keeps popping up on the advertisement bar on my facebook homepage.

I don't need this in my life right now.

Tyra Banks is the Devil

It appears that she could be ready to produce her evil spawn!

The most shocking part of this article was learning that Tyra Banks actually has a boyfriend! How any other human could stomach her antics on a long-term basis is beyond me. Much less share a child with her!

I'm scared for this future child because as far as I know, Tyra was just born super annoying and self-centered. Her babies will be bred that way! That is infinitely more dangerous.

I'll be sure to send you all a postcard from the remote island I move to, should Tyra actually reproduce in a city near me.

Movies are not real life

According to this article, people are leaving Avatar feeling depressed about not being able to actually go visit the utopian island.

I wonder if the same people left Beavis and Butthead the Movie feeling sad that they weren't animated idiots.

Or if they left Forever Young upset that they couldn't be frozen in time for a few decades.

Or if they left Men in Black sad that they didn't have a hilarious, black coworker.

It's just a movie people, not real life. Unless you had to pay $10 to come into this world, you should notice the lack of parallel between real life and the Grande Theater on Friendly Ave.

Next someone is going to tell me that they actually believe what they see on the news!

Image via http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1242409/The-Avatar-effect-Movie-goers-feel-depressed-suicidal-able-visit-utopian-alien-planet.html

"Can I have my rose back?"

In honor of the deeply profound, epic new season of the Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, and in honor of my sister, who thought of this idea, I want to play a little game called "What would you rather do than go on the Bachelor"?

I'll start.

- I would rather fly hanging on to the bottom of one of Jake's planes, with all of the thorns from the love roses stuck in my face than go on the Bachelor. Btw, I'm terrified of heights.
- I would also rather wear a bikini around town on a cold winter's day than go on the Bachelor. And the only thing I hate more than cold weather, is wearing a bikini around town.

I'll be adding throughout the day, but please leave a comment with what you'd rather be doing.

Image via http://images.buddytv.com/articles/118249_D_0537_pre.jpg

In other morning stroll news...

I actually heard the phrase "AYE TIMBER!" right before seeing a 50ft+ tree being torn down this morning on my walk to work.

I did not think that this term was still in use, but I was delighted to find out that I was wrong.

Top of the mornin' to ya lassies

There's is a lot of construction on my walk to work, so often I am forced to cross in the middle of the road. This is not ideal, but there is always a crossing guard there to give me the right away every now and then.

Well today, I damn near got run over by some hippy looking woman wearing all Earth tones and petuli coming out of her exhaust pipe.

I'm confused. I thought the granola gang was more in touch with Mother Nature and better than the rest of us materialistic heathens (i.e., by doing things like NOT getting road rage and NOT trying to hit pedestrians with their Subara Outbacks.)

Anywho, I knew the jig was up when I later saw her texting on her blackberry at the next stop light.

I guess when it comes to the morning commute, we all just want you to get the &#*$ out of our way.

January 11, 2010

Quote of the Day

"You came in here all high-and-mighty....acting all mighty, while I was high."

January 08, 2010

Passion of the Popcorn

Don't ask me why, but one of my favorite things in the world is the 3-variety popcorn tin that you sometimes get for Holidays or when you're in college.

My roommate in college got these on the reg and it was always one of my favorite and messiest times of the year. Of course, this was before food became the enemy.

So, you can imagine my utter devasation when I walked into the breakroom today only to discover...that's right!...a 3-variety popcorn tin!!!

Unfortunately for the popcorn tin, it's 3rd variety was butter popcorn and not white cheddar popcorn, because that's definitely the best flavor of popcorn available. However, this is probably a pretty good thing for me as I am trying to be a waif this year.

Anyway, I just felt like saying it out loud would make it more real so that I wouldn't perform my 2-pieces-at-a-time-doesn't-count ritual.
Hopefully I can get through the rest of this day with minimal visits to the sacred tin. Plus, I didn't bring dental floss to work so this can only end badly.

Happy poppin' Friday!