February 28, 2011

The President's Speech

Jimmy Kimmel Live has and always will be my favorite late night show. He's funny, he's sharp, and he is not scared of hurting people's feelings.

This video is the brilliant result of that genius.
This is seriously hilarious. Watch here!

Lost, Never to be found again

My husband and I just finished a 2 month long journey in what can only be described as a Lost binge.

We watched the whole series from start to finish in a little less than 2 months.

Just to put that into perspective, there are 160 episodes, each lasting 43 minutes.

That's 6880 minutes. AKA, almost 115 hours, or 5 whole days, of my life that was spent watching fake people on a fake island that makes no sense whatsoever.

And I loved every minute of it.

Watching something for that long, in addition to being totally ridiculous, can also really mess with your mind! I had so many Lost dreams that I started to confuse reality. And yesterday I heard a phantom theme song while I was showering.

So it's probably best that it ended, but now I know how Jimmy Kimmel felt when it was over for him. It's really devastated.

Nonetheless I totally recommend it!! Netflix rules and Lost is 4eva!

Political Strife in Octave C

What's one thing that is arguably worse than blood diamonds?

Blood ballads!

According to my Google alerts, and this article, Mariah received $1million to perform a mere 4 songs for Colonel Muammar el-Qaddafi's son.

This is pretty inexcusable. Not just because of the unethical and political implications, but also because you know Mariah Carey is not that desparate for $1million. She was named one of entertainment's 20 richest woman in 2007 and has more stilettos than Jimmy Choo himself.

She must have forgotten to read her daily diva mantra that day. You know the one? "It is not diva to perform for evil dictators."

While I may not be an expert on politics, I am an expert on Mariah Carey. So I can't tell you what the future holds for Libya, but I can tell you that my guess as to the 4 songs that could be worth a quarter of a million dollars a pop are as follows:

1) We Belong Together
2) Hero
3) Dream Lover
4) Vision of Love

February 25, 2011

Diva Devastation

Do you want to know what image comes up when you Google image Diva Devastation?

A buxom black woman who hearts S&M and the power of clip board. Oh, and standing in trash cans.

How is this a real thing?

DivaGny on the move!

One of my greatest joys in being the creater of DivaSaysWhat.com is that people often send me fabulous pictures of Diva-related license plates.

This one might take the cake.

She's a Diva! She's a Gynocologist? And she's proud of it!!
And she clearly has no shame in loving the lady parts. Not my thang, but I respect the passion. Go diva go diva GO!

High Winds, Hot Mess

This is an actual picture of part of my hair this morning.

It turns out that a heinous Peter Pan haircut, a headband, a raincoat hood, and blustery rainy winds do NOT a hot hairdid make.

I knew I was lookin a hot mess when I walked in but it wasn't until I saw this wirey little mess in my mirrow that I knew the extent of the damage.

Wowza! I also through in a partial "Talk to the hand" just for good measure.

I hope this weather clears up in time for some weekend fun tonight! I see a Margarita in my future. What about you divas?

February 24, 2011

Oui Oui, No!

I've decided that the only way a french manicure can be not the tackiest thing in the world is when it's a beer french manicure.
Tips are out divas.

Speaking of Housewives...

So far I'm thinking that the Miami bitches are way too friendly to have any good dramz.

I'm also highly confused why one of them, Lea from Texas, was cast on the show when she is clearly wearing mom jeans in the first episode's cooking scene.

I guess that can give us all hope that even the lamest dresser can be cast on what will undoubtedly me another hit show.

I can't wait until next week. I love this garbage.

Who's your favorite Miami Housewife so far?! I think mine is going to be the Barbie girl because she seems the most ridiculous so far.

I's Mad at You

Has anyone else noticed how on all the Real Housewives shows they all refer to their relationships like, "Russell and I's relationship..."

It's "MY" relationship.
If you take Russell or Nene or whoever out of the equation, then you are just left with "I's relationship". And that is just stupid.

Here's a thought: Save the money you were going to spend on your next round of botox and go to grammar school! Nobody likes a trout pout attached to a stupid brain!

February 23, 2011

Ruh Roh

Someone is in the doghouse tonight. Probably weeping.

This is my worst nightmare.

I would assume that it would be the girl that would lose her own engagement ring, but this sign had a man's name and email address on it.

I hope that doesn't mean that he lost it before he gave it to his now ex-girlfriend fiance-to-be!

February 22, 2011

Golden Babies

This just needs to be true for the sake of awesomeness.

Check out Mariah's alleged plans for her babies' digs here.

That's right, the checklist for crying babies goes like:

1) Are you hungry?
2) Do you have a dirty diaper?
3) Are you tired?
4) Is your diamond-encrusted Ipod not working?!

Nothing says Goo Goo Gah Gah like an 18-karat gold nursery!

Stupid with a side of lazy

I do not understand the whole Drake phenomenon.

Take this song for instance. What's my name by Rhianna and Drake. (Click on the link).

While I actually do like this song for some reason, I just can't help but think that Drake sounds like the laziest, dumbest piece of stupid.

Drake, if you don't know the square root of 69, then don't rap about it. Oh, 69, haha...that's mature.

He just sounds like he showed up unprepared without anything to sing about, so he just totally wings it. And the result is less than intelligent.

And he sounds like this in every song. I do not like it. But he's rich and I'm not, so maybe I should shut up and start singing about nonsensical math problems.

Trader Joe's Horseradish Hummus

Yum! This stuff is awesome! If you like that spicy tang of horseradish you must buy this hummus!

Want to make your Tuesday sandwich taste like a fancy prime rib buffett? Dress up your roast beef sandwich with TJ's horseradish hummus, without the fat of mayonaisse or a sourcream-horseradish combo.

Protein? Check! Low-cal? Check! YUM? Double check!

February 21, 2011

Pan Fried Scallops with Onions and Pancetta

This recipe got rave reviews from my husband. I rarely ever use butter in cooking, but it made a huge difference when pan frying the scallops. I served the scallops with roasted asparagus, a dinner biscuit, and rice (for him).

The ingreds: 1 minced clove of garlic, 1 sliced yellow onion, 2 slices of pancetta chopped, and 0.5 lbs of little Bay Scallops.

Hey lil guys! Season scallops with some salt n' peppa and a dash of olive oil.
Start by sauteing the sliced onion in about 1 Tbsp of olive oil for about 5 minutes. Add the minced garlic clove and keep on medium heat for about 5 more minutes. Remove from pan.
Add chopped pancetta to the same pan and cook as you would bacon. Remove from pan and blot.
Next add 1/2 Tbsp of butter to the same pan and add in the scallops. Cook for about 4 minutes on each side. Then add the onion and garlic to reheat for just a couple of minutes.
Plate the scallop/onion combo, garnish with the crispy prosciutto and enjoy with roasted asparagus.

Man plate.

Girl plate.
This was seriously delicious and decadent but was so easy to cook. And it was surprisingly cheap also. All those scallops only cost about $4!
You could totally sub the onions for any vegetable of your choice (shrooms, leaks, peppers, etc.). I just like to start with ingredients I love individually and I almost always love them all together.
This meal gets 4 stars for taste and 4 stars for ease and affordability.
100% recommended by DSW!

Giant Pizza

I went to DC this past weekend.

You know you're in an apartment building right by the home of the original jumbo slices when there is a trash receptacle just for the giant pizza boxes.


Guess the Yard Garbage

Guess what extra random item was in our driveway this morning?

Hint: It's college related.

Other college crap that we have found in our yard or driveway include the following:

1. Numchucks

2. A beach ball

3. An empty bottle of Aristocrat vodka

4. An Oscar the Grouch costume.

Happy Guessing!

February 18, 2011

Snoring is boring

I dated my husband for over 5 years before we got married and he never ever snored. It was one of the things I liked most about him.

Now, less than a year into marriage, he snores every single night!

If you know anything about me personally you know I am NOT good at falling asleep. This is not helping.

I feel like someone is playing a cruel practical joke on me!

Divas need beauty rest!!!

Sunny with a chance

Ever notice how any sunglasses you buy for under $100 do NOT come with a proper case?

It's like they want you to sit on your shades and break them so that you will have to buy another pair, and another and another...

Oh wait, that probably is why they do that.

I just got these babies from Anthropologie, but of course instead of charging me $10 more and giving me a legitimate case, I get a petite burlap bag to put them in. Swell.

I wish they would save the money they spend on copious amounts of decorative tissue paper and just give me a damn case.

And in happier news related to the sun, it is supposed to be 75 degrees here today...in the middle of February!

February 17, 2011

Life is Good Again

This is my new everything. You simply must watch this video.


This diva embodies sass, pizazz, and everything else that is good in the world.

I think my favorite aspect of the video is how he appears to narrowly avoid injury everytime he attempts a new move.

Also, kudos on the light show at the end. Who knew flipping a light switch could create such drama!

*This looks it is being filmed in some sort of laboratory!? I don't know what concoction they are making in there, but I want some!

What's in a name?

I don't know how I never thought of this before, but after watching Sex and the City the movie twice this week, and the episode of SATC when Miranda is preparing for baby Brady, something struck me.

When Miranda stubbornly names her baby Brady Hobbs (her last name), and then eventually marries Steve Brady (her baby daddy), is her child named Brady Brady?!?

I guess you didn't think that one through Darren Starr!!

Confusing Convalescence

Does anyone know what a convalescent ambulance is?

I sat behind one in traffic yesterday for about 20 minutes and awkwardly had a staring contest with the guy in the back who was facing backwards out the window.

I tried to look up the definition of one on the Internet but didn't find a clear answer.

I know it's not like a regular ambulance because it was more like a conversion van. There were no lights flashing and they did not appear in a hurry.

I know there was a patient in there because he was on a stretcher facing backwards. But he was also having a lively conversation with the man next to him.

And I know this man next to him was not an EMT because he was wearing an offensive paisley shirt.

None of this adds up. What the hell is a convalescent ambulance?
*And to make matters even more confusing, I couldn't find a picture of one online!

K9 Diva

It's a bird...It's a dog...No it's SUPER diva!

This is my dog-in-law. She is the definition of a diva. She is one of those awesome dogs that not only doesn't require lots of walks and pee breaks, but actually dislikes being outside. And of course she doesn't bark!

She also has the ability to relax so hard that she looks more like a cotton ball than a living creature. See proof above! That little black spot in the middle is her nose.

She stayed with us last night. We watched the Real Housewives of Atlanta and drank wine, the way divas do.

February 16, 2011

Rainbows and Butterflies

At the behest of a friend, I have to post something quick so that the baby snot picture isn't up here any longer. Also, I figured I should post something positive after the semi-anti-baby/animal rant.

So I will!

I am literally bursting at the seams right now with excitement. I just got the best travel opportunity through work (Greece for 10 days!!!!!!!), AND I think I found an extracurricular photography group to tool around with and apply my new skillz. I recently finished a rigorous 4 week beginner photography class to learn about my new camera.

Add to that the fact that it's Wednesday, the one day a week I get to finish 2/3 of my day hates before 1pm, and things are really looking good for Mamacita!

Now if I could just figure out how to be self-employed, this would be the best week EVER!

February 15, 2011

Pretty Girl Rock

It's been a very long time since I've heard a good diva anthem, but I think we finally have a new one among us.

Presenting, "Pretty Girl Rock" by Keri Hilson. Also known as the pledge of allegiance for very conceited girls. The video is linked here.

* "I can talk about it cause I know that I'm pretty"

* "All eyes on me when I walk in, No question that this girl's a 10."

* "Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful."

I jammed out to this on my last solo road trip. It was great to sing too loudly to, and very encouraging of dramatic hand movements.

Do the pretty girl rock!!

Whomp whomp

Wow, we made it through another societal pariah known as Valentine's Day.

I'm convinced this holiday was invented to make single people feel crappy, and to remind married people how absolutely clueless their spouses are.

How was your Vday? Did you do anything special with your loved one? Or did you partake in an all-singles love-hating event?

February 11, 2011

Jungle Cat

Check out this jungle cat I saw in a parking lot yesterday!

I'm not typically in the habit of taking pictures of innocent old ladies, but this fleece had so much going on that I had to document it.

Not only is this an animal print fleece, it has 2 sets of animal prints AND a leafy camouflage layer!
This is just one more reason why Spring can't come soon enough!

Simple Cinema

I think I must have bad tastes in movies.

Everytime I get a movie that has been critically acclaimed, nominated for awards, or a blockbuster in theaters, I can barely sit still long enough to pay any sort of attention.

Inception? HATED it! I quit watching after 30 minutes. It was too unreal to even be believable enough to be mind-blowing, as everyone claimed.

Social Network? It was ok I guess. Notwithstanding the 20 times I walked out of the room to do something more interesting.

But give me a Rom Com, and I will be glued to the TV.

Last night I watched "Life As We Know It." LOVED IT! I laughed, I cried, and I didn't get up once.

Maybe it's because I'm simple. Or maybe it's because I love the inevitable passionate kiss and happy ending. But goodness gracious. I HEART ROMANTIC COMEDIES.

I can't wait to see one tonight in my home theater den.

Gals out there, do you prefer RomComs? Or are you a fan of scary movies and more serious cinema?!

February 10, 2011

Buffalo Chicken Pizza - Step By Step

Instructions for a homemade healthified pizza!
(And please God watch the NKOTB video linked above. The outfits are un-be-lievable! Not to mention every single move they make.)
Boil up some chicken breasts. About 12-14 minutes.

In Olive Oil, Saute a Yellow Onion and Sliced Baby Bella Mushrooms. About 10 minutes...

Or until a limp biscuit.
Owww! My finger!

Let's try that again...Nice and floppy!
This made enough topping for at least 3 pizzas.

Hello my Precious!

Using 2 forks, pull apart the cooled chicken breasts. Douse with the hot sauce, shake up in a Tupperware container (lid on!!), and viola! Buffalo chicken magic.

Assemble all ingredients on a Light Original Flatbread (only 90 calories!) that has been lightly misted with EVOO. Top with whatever cheese you want. I used light mozzarella. Full fat cheese would have melted better.
Also, I think I was supposed to put the cheese on the bottom?!

Bake for about 15-18 minutes around 390 degrees. Slice and enjoy!
I also added a few jalapenos on top just for good measure. :)
Obviously you can use regular pizza dough, but by using light cheese and a Flatbread, I think I made this whole pizza for under 400 cals. Not too shabby for a whole pizza!
Best enjoyed with a glass of wine and a RomCom.

Love is waaaaay up in the air

This is really a cute Valentine's Day present I think :) And definitely unique.

Living Social: Name a star after the one you love!

If you want to really show that special someone that they send you to the moon, and if you have a small budget to work with, why don't you consider naming a star after him or her?!

Call me a simpleton, but I would seriously be so cuted out if my husband ever thought of something that creative. Instead, I'm 99% sure he will not even remember the holiday. Even though I'm making him red velvet cake brownies. Even though it is the 6 year anniversary of us meeting for the first time!

Last year he gave me a box of chocolates. I was shocked at the gesture because he does not do stuff like that, ever. It was so sweet! He bought them all by himself he said!

Then I found the post-it note stuck on the side of the trash can that said, "G, give this to M on Valentine's Day. Love, Mom!" BUSTED!

I'm def not going to remind him of the holiday and see if he does anything. I'll report back Monday. ;)

Fluff TV

Whoever invented this has got to be a former member of the brain trust known as Sky Mall Magazine.

I saw a commercial for this pillow last night in which it was being touted as the next big, chic thing. And then they added, "Just don't sit on it."

So you know that thing has a lifespan of about one week, before your drunk friends swan dives on the couch and banishes you to the same channel for life.

Sometimes it's ok to not "reinvent" a product. A remote control might be one of them.

And please, look how ridiculous the guy above looks. Can you imagine his buddies' reaction when they come over for a Superbowl party and Pillow Pauly up there daintly grabs his pillow to turn up the volume? "Sorry boys, be careful with the pillow!!! (with lisp)" I don't see this going mainstream.

February 09, 2011

Literary Agents get in line!

I'm famous published an author!

My family gave me the best early Birthday present!

A real, printed DivaSaysWhat.com book. The book is all my posts from the first year of DSW's fabulous life.

Thanks M, D, and Sis! Here's to many more years of world-changing literature from DSW and Mamacita!
If you have also created this book online I'd be more than happy to autograph it for you. ;) No charge!

Technology, you are not my friend

Holy information overload.

As you can see from my new (albeit ghetto looking) tabs above, I am adding some more uumph to Diva Says What.

So far the only tabs I can think of are Diveats and Domestic Diva, but I'm thinking of adding a "TV is Awesome" tab too so I can ramble on about the Bachelor and other important shows like that in a safe haven.

As always, I'm open to suggestions. So let me know if you can think of any awesome tabs to add.

It only took me 4 full hours to add the tabs I have now. Oh my gosh this is hard. My brain hurts :(

February 08, 2011

The next big little thing

If you haven't already, you simply must try a cakeball!

This delicious petite creation is all the rage right now and is the perfect dessert/party favor for bridal showers or any sort of party shower...except actual showers, that'd be gross.

The beauty of these little guys is that you can order or make them in any flavor imagineable, and they are portable if you wrap them individually. I went to a party last weekend with the following 4 flavors (naturally I sampled them all):

1) Lemon blueberry

2) Strawberry

3) Peanut Butter

4) Chocolate Chip

Looking for ways to get involved?

If you live in the Greensboro, High Point, Winston Salem area, check out Yummy Goodness Bake Shoppe. They make great varities, including the 4 I listed above!

Or if you like to try baking things on your own, which I LOVE to do, here is a website I found with several different flavor recipes.

I am not lying to you folks, if you serve these at your next party people will think you are a genius. It was all anyone talked about at the bridal shower I went to last Saturday.

If they haven't come to a bakery near you yet, try baking them soon. The red velvet flavor featured here would be the perfect treat for your lover on Valentine's Day. However, I suggest including an alternate white chocolate coating with the milk chocolate, because that's a more Valentine's-y color combo.

Love is in the air!