February 27, 2015

Danger: Costco

Aside from, oh I don't know, Fallujah and the Gaza Strip, Costco has got to be the most dangerous place on Earth.
I recently became a member.  Which takes my number of memberships to up to 2.  (The first is Winnie's Burger Tavern here in Wilmington.  And to become a member there you pretty much just have to check the box "yes" for "Do you like to play pool?").  I'm basically an elitist.
Anyway, I always go in with great intentions.  Then I always come out with 2 pounds of strawberries and 500 vitamins I didn't meant to buy.
I guess this makes me nouveau Coscto riche.  I hope I don't accidentally start buying gold chains from the jewelry counter on an innocent trip for 100 bagels.

The struggle is real.

February 25, 2015

Thought of the Day (b/c there is only one)

Since I pretty much only have about one thought a day these days, due to baby induced fatigue and stupidity, I decided to share a few so my lil' blog doesn't just shrivel up and die.
Today's thought:
Romance to me is someone doing something without being asked.  Christian Grey can have his whips and chains and cars and planes.  If my husband simply wiped off the kitchen counter after dinner without being asked, I would think that I was in the middle of a Kay Jewelers commercial.
Every kiss beings with Lysol Disinfectant spray...

February 24, 2015

Speaking of Lux Life...

We got a tax bill today for my husband's vehicle, which is an almost 20 year old pick up truck that somehow has cellulite above the tires, and the appraised value for the car was a whopping $400.00
While I'm happy for the low tax bill, I can't help but suddenly feel like I have hoopty in my drive way.
Dolla. Dolla. Bills. Y'all.

February 18, 2015

My Lux Life

You know you lead a glamorous life when all you ask your husband for for your Birthday is to fully detail your kid's highchair.

But it's so hard to keep clean.  And it's alllll that I want.

February 11, 2015

Northshore Slaw

My mother in law gave me this recipe from her friend and it is SO GOOD!  It's easy to make, goes with basically any protein, and is pretty healthy aside from the sugar which you could probably omit.

Northshore  Slaw     
(double it for a crowd)
1 pkg. Broccoli slaw  mix   
4 Tbs. red onion or  scallions
3 Tbs. pine nuts
1 Tbs. sesame seeds
1/2 c. slivered almonds
1 c. coarsely chopped  pecans
1 pkg. chicken ramen  noodles
2-4 Tbs. sugar
1/2 c. oil (peanut)
3 Tbs. red wine vinegar
4 cloves of garlic finely  chopped
1/2 tsp. sal t
1/2 tsp. pepper
Toast seeds, nuts and ramen noodles at  325 until lightly brown (10-15 min.)
Add broccoli slaw
Mix dressing--oil, sugar, opinions,  garlic, vinegar, pepper, salt and packet of chicken seasonings from  noodles. 
Mix in with slaw.
*You can add small florets of  broccoli, cauliflower and red bell peppers.
**Tastes better if it sits  overnight.
***Add a dash of sesame oil to dressing if you have it.

February 09, 2015

Jack Gets ALL the Worms

Last week Jack did not sleep the best. I think it was because he is a little sick.

But it made me a lot sad.  I swear waking up in the middle of the night at this stage in the game is even more of a gut punch then it was when he was waking up every hour because I am no longer conditioned for this shit.

Top o' the mornin' to ya, sucka!

And to keep me even more on my toes, he's been waking up around 5:30am for about 3 weeks now.  First of all, that is les miz no matter your circumstances.  Secondly, I simply do not have enough things to do in the day to start at 5;30.  And third, and perhaps most importantly, it makes me hungry for lunch around 9:30am.  This is good for no one.  Especially saddlebag A and B.

I'm going to start making him stay up a little later each night to see if that helps.  If not, when we are in Texas this weekend he will be waking up at 4:30am local time, so that will just be stupendous.


I hope staying up a little later works.  Or maybe he will just grow out of it.  But I just refuse to accept this as the new norm.  Denial is a beautiful thing.  So is sleeping in pass 6am...from what I remember.

February 02, 2015

No Mas TP?

I know that I'm not allowed to keep anything nice (or at all) on any surfaces of my furniture anymore.  And I have to keep the trash cans on top of the toilets.  And the dog bowl mostly on the kitchen counter.

But really, where am I supposed to put my toilet paper now?