December 31, 2019

Happy New Year

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Another year gone by.  It was a good one because I am #trulyblessed.  But if I’m being honest I don’t remember a single thing I did this year.  That’s pretty much how I have felt for the last 6 years.  Which is why my main resolution this year is to FOCUS.  I want to always know what day and month it is which will be a pretty big lifestyle change.   

Since I last posted I sprained my ankle a week after having surgery, had to wear a boot for 3 weeks in the peak of summer, and got an acid photo burn on my hand from a mixture of lime juice and the sun.  Too many margaritas and not even SPF makes for another random physical element I suppose.

I should have known the summer wasn’t going to be my peak sexiness on the first day after school ended.  I chased a loose receipt all over the parking lot of the grocery store, only to finally catch it and look up to find 6 sexy firemen walking toward me who had seen the whole tragic pursuit.

Back to the present.  I am sick of watching tv and sick of drinking wine.  I want to read books at night and wake up feeling like a precious innocent.  I am actually excited to make healthy changes this year.  Apparently there is a maximum amount of Real Housewives and Sauvignon Blanc that someone can enjoy.  And I have hit the max.  Send book recommendations!

It’s also come to my attention lately that my nose has almost doubled in size since I was in high school.  I know there’s no way to change it or reverse it.  But I just need you to know that I know. 

I think I am going full yoga this year with some cardio free styling.  I’ve been trying boot camp classes for years and have finally come to terms with the fact that I am too floppy and too prone to lower back injury to make it enjoyable.  I love yoga and it makes me feel like I can live a long life with fewer aches and pains and more positive vibes.  So that’s what I am going to do!

I also resolve to never run again.  I tried once this year and I honestly didn’t remember how to do it.  Every single part of my body was jiggling and it just wasn’t good for my psyche or the general morale of the neighborhood.  I don’t even like to watch other people run.  I feel like I get a new cluster of spider veins every time someone even jogs by me.

I would also like to say I am going to play more pickup games of basketball.  There is a 0% chance this will actually happen but something about a casual game of B-ball with a few strangers excites me greatly. 

This is pretty unrelated to the new year but I truly believe that loose BBQ sauce should not be photographed.  I like it just fine on a nice piece of chicken but don’t put that sauce on tv running down a sandwich.  It’s too thick and it’s disgusting.

That’s all I got for now!  Happy New Year to all!