July 30, 2014

Celestial Stuff

This is going to sound super cheesy but my new version of heaven is the time after I soothe Jack out of crying and have him asleep on my chest or holding on to my neck so I can kiss his soft little neck.
However, it's not as cheesy as the expression "Love you to the moon and back".  I hate that expression.  It's so cliché, finite, and boring.  And there are things a lot farther than the moon.  If you're going to be dramatic in your expressions of love, at least go as far as the ends of the galaxy or something.
That being said, I have come up with my own ways of expressing my profound love for my son.  Forget the return trips to the moon and all the stars in the sky.  I tell Jack I love him as much as the following:
All the beers in the case.
All the wine in the bottle.
All the shows on my DVR.
All the sleep in the night.
All 60 minutes of an hour massage.
All the chips in the bag.
All the ice cream in the carton.
All the pizza in the box.
That way he knows I really, really, REALLY love him.  Neil Armstrong and others actually have gone to the moon and back.  Big whoop.  Only mommy can express her love in these most passionate ways.

July 28, 2014

Send Help

Do you want to know how you know you might be suffering from sleep deprivation?
When you suddenly can't get this still inexplicably awesome show out of your head two decades later.

July 27, 2014

Mixed Green Salad with Sherry Vinaigrette

In a family quest to find something delicious to make with a bottle of sherry vinegar that was too tall to fit in the pantry, I found the best dressing and salad to share with you!
When you make it, which you really, really should, please pair it with this Greek Marinated Chicken.
It was the perfect combination and the leftover salad toppings went like butta on top of the leftover chicken the next day!
  • 1 large clove garlic
  • 2 teaspoons dried oregano
  • 1 teaspoon salt, plus more for seasoning
  • 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, plus more for seasoning
  • 1 (4.5-ounce) bag mixed baby greens, rinsed and spun dried
  • 1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced
  • 1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives, halved
  • 2 ounces feta cheese, coarsely crumbled
    Blend the vinegar, garlic, oregano, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 1/2 teaspoon black pepper in a blender until the garlic is finely chopped. With the blender running, slowly blend in the oil.
    Toss the baby greens, bell pepper, olives, and cheese with enough vinaigrette to coat. Season the salad, to taste, with more salt and black pepper, and serve.

    July 23, 2014

    Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer

    It has come to my attention that there is no person busier in the world than an almost 4 month old eating a bottle.  Not the President.  Not One Direction.  Not even Michael Buble during the Christmas TV special season.
    It’s like a perfect combination of this:
     Hands that move 100% of the time.
     Michael Flatly, Lord of the Dance.
     And this, because this is what we call it every time we give him a bottle.
    It's kind of like wrangling a wild beast.  A wild beast with cute chubby cheeks.

    July 22, 2014

    Ham and Cheese Quinoa Cups

    I have posted this recipe before but I have to do it again now that I’ve discovered another important feature of the recipe other than yum: Convenience!
    I recently came to the realization that I’ve been living on a steady diet of bread, eggs, and deli meats.  That has to change, but I also don’t have that much time on a per meal basis to create any magical vegetable medley with grilled chicken and lean meats due to the unpredictable screeching delight in my life named Jack.  So it’s all about make ahead meals these days.
    These are the perfect example of a healthy, convenient make ahead meal.  They are amazing fresh out of the oven because of the little ham/cheese crispies that form on the edges.  But also delicious the next few subsequent days when heated up in the microwave.  I want to make these all the time and even try different mix-ins.  Now, if I could only find a way to make cleaning a muffin tin easy.
    2 cups cooked quinoa (about 3/4 cup uncooked)
    2 eggs
    2 egg whites
    1 cup zucchini, shredded
    1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
    1/2 cup diced ham
    1/4 cup parsley, chopped
    2 Tablespoons parmesan cheese
    2 green onions, sliced
    salt & pepper
    1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and mix to combine. Liberally spray a mini muffin tin with non-stick spray and spoon mixture to the top of each cup. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until the edges of the cups are golden brown. Let cool for at least 5 minutes before removing from the mini muffin tin.
    2. TO FREEZE: Place baked cups on a baking sheet then freeze until solid and transfer to a freezer bag. Microwave for 20-40 seconds depending on how many you’re reheating.
    3. FOR REGULAR-SIZED MUFFIN TINS: Bake for 25-30 minutes

    July 18, 2014

    Thoughts on Motherhood - 15 Weeks

    1. Now that Jack legitimately sleeps through the night, when people ask me how he is sleeping, which everyone does, I feel a lot less "stabby" and a lot more "cartwheely".
    This is one of his trick flips in which he puts Teddy on his back.  Boy genius.
    That being said, he just started flipping over and now I'm constantly afraid he will smoosh his face against the bed, so I still don't sleep much consecutively yet.  This morning I was so tired to my core that I thought I might actually be dead.
    2. Can I tell you a secret?  Even though I'm finished breastfeeding I still wear nursing tanks to bed because I'm used to the support, both physically and emotionally.  I also continue to wake up in the middle of the night with an internal temperature of 300 degrees so I need the breathability.  How long is too long to wear maternity and nursing apparel when you suddenly become neither of those things?  Wait, don't answer that.
    Gosh, I love the sassy poses for nursing tanks.  It just screams, "I unclip here because I can!  Because I'm a mom, damnit!"
    3. I make up my own lullabies.  And the trouble with being an original lyricist is that I constantly have my own original numbers stuck in my head with no one to sing along with me.  The #1 song on the non-existent chart this week is a diaper changing song that goes a little something like this, "Bye bye poo poo!  There's no room for you in this cute little butt."  Set to the tune of whatever the hell I want.
    4. A baby's hand is nature's free pacifier that never falls out.  And I'm not ashamed to admit that sometimes I manually insert Jack's into his mouth when he's upset and I can't muster the energy to reinsert a proper pacifier 400 times.
    5. I have really bad lingering acid reflux from pregnancy and I want more sympathy for it.
    6. I don't care if my boobs go back to the same size they were before breastfeeding.  But I sincerely hope they go back to being the same size as each other. 

    July 14, 2014

    Apple Peanut Butter Delights

    I've mentioned in the past that I don't like the Pioneer Woman because her "recipes" aren't actually recipes at all...like "How to Cook a Steak" and "How to Make the Perfect Eggs".
    And this is really a prime example of that style, but it was so tasty and cute that I to make it and share it anyway.
    A food stylist, I am not

    I don't think I have added straight up sugar to anything since my Corn Flakes in lower school, because it was so damn fun to get a mouth full of crunchy deliciousness sugar.  But last night I did.  And then I broiled it and ate it and felt no shame.
    This would be great for kids as a dessert or snack or breakfast.
    Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
    Halve the muffins and spread a heaping tablespoon of peanut butter on each half. Layer the apple slices on the peanut butter. Mix the sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg together in a small bowl and sprinkle about 2 teaspoons on top of each muffin half.
    Put the muffin halves on a baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes. Set the oven to low broil and cook until bubbly and caramelized, about 3 minutes.

    July 11, 2014

    Thoughts on motherhood - 14 weeks

    1. The amount that my dog starts to freak out about getting left in response to the simple act of me taking a shower and putting on real clothes clearly means I'm not doing that enough.
    2. I have started to go to the gym almost every single day because it's the only free thing I can do to get out of the house and take Jack with me that doesn't involve walking in the 100 degree weather.  So I might accidentally end up with perfect body because I'm cheap and have cabin fever.
    3. Goodbye to the most handsome little battery operated handbag I've ever known.  Breastfeeding and pumping, it's been real.  And it's been free.  And it's been "special".  But recently it's been mostly awkward in group situations and absolutely exhausting.  So we are parting ways. 
    Also, say what you will about breastfeeding versus formula, but the first night I fed my baby formula he slept through the entire night.  Like 7-7.  Like,  I just witnessed my first miracle.  And he's done it 8 out of 10 times since then.  So I'm team formula all the way.  Just at night though.  I'm got enough frozen breastmilk to feed an army...of babies...for like a week.

    Stella done got her groove back.  Well, at least her regular bra.
    4. Netflix can really save a stay at home mom during nap time when there are no dishes to be done or laundry to be partially completed and then later abandoned.  I am loving my renewed subscription.  That being said, however, I watched this movie last week and it was so inexplicably stupid that I thought someone might have slipped bath salts into my beloved morning iced coffee.
    5. I just made $100 on my blog after having Ads installed on it for almost 2 years.  So I officially "Have it all" as they say about working moms with babies.  Watch out working women of the world.  I'm coming for you...at the whopping rate of $0.0000089 an hour!
    6. I heart being a mom.

    July 10, 2014

    The 10th of July

    Whoever is the A-hole who continues to detonate fireworks long after the thrill of July 4th  is gone, I opposite of salute you.
    So does my skittish dog and her petite heart which has been in borderline cardiac arrest since last Friday.
    I was fine sitting inside while the fireworks blasted on the 4th of July because my baby was asleep inside.  But not because my dog was shaking like a leaf on a tree, even while cradled in my arms. 
    It's over for this year pyros.  But your fireworks away and let me dog relax!

    July 08, 2014

    Grilled Corn, Avocado and Tomato Salad

    I had this at a friend's house recently and I immediately made it the next day.  It is so fresh and tasty and seasonal. 
    Is there anything more beautiful than corn and tomatoes?  Nope.
    I doubled the recipe when I made it because I had a lot of fresh corn.  The only modification I'd make when making it again is to NOT double the honey when doubling the rest of the recipe.  The reason for this is that I don't like my savory dishes too sweet.  But Grant thought it was perfect and said he loved the sweetness.


    1 pint grape tomatoes
    1 ripe avocado
    2 ears of fresh sweet corn
    2 tbsp fresh cilantro, chopped
    Juice of 1 lime
    3 tbsp vegetable oil
    1 tbsp honey
    Sea salt and fresh cracked pepper, to taste
    1 clove garlic, minced
    Dash of cayenne pepper


    Remove husks from corn and grill over medium heat for 10 minutes. The corn should have some brown spots and be tender and not mushy. Cut the corn off the cob then scrape the cob with the back of your knife to get the juices. Set aside and let cool. Slice the tomatoes in half. Dice the avocado and chop the cilantro.


    1. Add all the dressing ingredients in a small bowl and whisk to combine. Set aside.
    2. Combine the sliced tomatoes, avocado, cilantro and grilled corn and honey lime dressing and mix gently so everything is evenly coated. Be careful not to mash the avocados. Let the salad sit for 10-15 minutes to let flavors mingle.

    July 04, 2014

    Dollar Baby

    Recently I heard a mom tell her daughter that she wanted to sell her for a dollar on Craigslist.
    I know, really sweet right?
    That's offensive not just because the mother clearly wanted to get rid of her daughter at that particular time which was awkward for everyone patronizing our local Zoe's Kitchen.  But also because she was only going to give her up for a measly dollar bill.  That cannot be good for a child's self esteem.  If you are going to sell your child at least try to get top dollar! 

    July 02, 2014

    Geomtric Pedi, By Non-Request

    Do you notice anything odd about this photo?
    Normally I would never put a picture of my toes on the Internet, especially with some fresh fire ant bites, but these toenails look way too much like the Boyz II Men diagonal afros* of yesteryear to not share.
    I think my pedicurist must have been on a hill, or one of her pedicure chair wheels is broken.  For all the toenails on my left foot are completely diagonal.  Maybe it's a new trend!?
    *I am actually an expert on BIIM afros because my friend and I had a Boyz II Men party in middle school and we put an entire border around our party cake of alternating diagonal and traditional 'fros.  We were not your average white girls.