May 16, 2011

Footwear to nowhere

Last week I was watching the Home Shopping Network flipping through channels on TV when I came across an infomercial for these shoes.

Now I want to call these shoes ugly, but I'm afraid that's not a strong enough description.

To me these shoes are not even worthy of the world's most bunion-riddled, corn-having footsies.

I would rather walk barefoot across hot coals then put these fugs on my feet.

"Lace Up Jazz Shoes"? No thanks. They looked bad enough when I was actually doing jazz dancing in the 5th grade.

Check them out online here, because the picture above doesn't do them justice. This picture makes them look freaking awesome compared to how they look in the "Cognac" and "Black" options.

The funniest part about the infomercial, besides Steve Madden himself associating his actual face with these disasters, is that he described them as both "Annie Hall" and "Weekend getaway shoes".

Question Steveo: Where the hell are you "getting away"? Do you summer at the fugly camp for paupers? Because that is what those shoes make me think of. That, and sweeping chimneys.

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