February 02, 2012

Music and Butts

Last night I went to a Robert Earl Keen concert. It was really fun and I loved the music. But, as happens during most instances in which I exist, something strange happened.

First there was just this in the bathroom:

Luckily it didn't affect me because this was just a standard #1 situation. But my heart went out to those in the past and the future who come rushing into the bathroom with an emergency "situation", only to be greeted by this sign. It's bad enough when something like that happens in public. To further know that you are going to wreak havoc on the internal plumbing of the entire concert community is just heartbreaking.

I'm pretty sure the saying "Ignorance Is Bliss" came from someone who wished they didn't know that they were about to blow up a plumbing system in a public venue.

The next weirdness came at the tail end of the night. I was standing next to my friends and my husband. And a VERY creepy couple who had seemed content to keep to themselves all night while sexually body grooving throughout the whole show...Until the last few songs.

That was when the man of the couple asked me if I would smack his wife in the ass, because "she was really in to that sort of thing." I politely declined, because I am not a sexual/social deviant. And because, EWWW.

Then he asked Grant if he would smack his girlfriend's ass. "Come on. Just do it."

This is when things got a little dicey. The G-Man isn't the best at saying no. And, although Thank heavens he didn't smack the random girl's butt, he did decide that the next best option to appease the swinger/man in question was to hit ME in the butt.

Oohhh HELL NO!

We immediately left after that. Me, with a stinging butt cheek. And Grant with an involuntary lesson on when it is absolutely imperative to learn to say No to strange, swinger men. (Answer: When it involves smacking your wife in the butt.)

I also saw a guy in the front who did not stop doing the "cowabunga" movement with his right hand the entire show. I'd bet my life that that man is currently suffering from the world's most severe hand cramp ever today.

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