March 29, 2011

I Heart Me

It has recently come to my attention that I have 2 remarkable qualities that I love about myself.

1) I take very little time to use the bathroom when I am a public place with a line. This makes me feel efficient and low maintenance. And I am sure it is appreciated by the full-bladdered bitches behind me.

2) I always, always, always get to restaurants at the perfect times, right before crowds and long waits form.

There’s no need for a reservation when you’re with Mamacita. Fear not, I’ll get us right in. Not because I have connections, but because I have been blessed with the gift of getting my grub on unimpeded from pestering crowds.

I can’t explain it, but I can definitely prove it. Join me for dinner and then a night out on the town somewhere with lots of girls and small bathrooms and prepare to be amazed.

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