July 26, 2011

H20 or Death

I am happy to say that I just finished my last water aerobics class with The Drill Sargent. I think her real name is Lisa but that is way too dainty of a name for this woman.

Her claims to fame include being able to wear XL Boys' board shorts and being a former stage manager. I mean, my God, she was a stage manager. She talked about how being a stage manager has affected her personality like a 4-star Military General might talk about why he likes strict order. The only difference is that on the one hand, you're leading our country's bravest and strongest into battle. And on the other, you are a thespian groupie wearing a headset, most likely because you didn't get an actual part in the stage production.

She also talked about her "trainers", both Brazilian and Japanese, as if she was a prize-winning cage fighter...not a water aerobics instructor at a Yacht Club in North Carolina.

Oh and in case you didn't know, the United States is decades behind Europe in the scientific developments of brain surgery water aerobics. Shame on you America. No, literally. She wants you to feel ashamed. That's kind of her thing.

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