December 18, 2012

Frank the Tank

My friend just sent me a link to this article for the "Hot Slut of the Day!" from  I promise it's not sexual.  In fact, is is the opposite of sexual.  It's a story about a drunk boy named Frank and his impossibly chill neighbor.  Read the story here.
This article is great for 3 reasons. 1) I am absolutely dying to know who Frank is and if we have any mutual friends here in Wilmington, NC.  2) This neighbor deserves a Nobel Peace Price for not going absolutely ape shit on ol' Frank the Tank as he whizzed all over his rug. 
And 3) This reminds me of a night during Freshman year of college when I lived in a dorm room with one roommate and 2 suite mates with a shared bathroom.  I was watching TV with my roomie one night when the door opened and in walked a spectacularly wasted guy who I did not know.  I assumed he was there to see one of my suite mates so I didn't put up a fight as he walked through the bathroom. 
While I thought he was walking through to get to the other side, he was in fact not doing that at all.  I realized something was amiss shortly thereafter when I went out to the hall, only to see him slumped over in a ball beside our door. 
I was confused and curious enough to go into my suite mates room to ascertain the identity of the drunkard.  When they told me they thought he was my friend and just passing through, we knew something was up.  Commence bathroom investigation. 
Homeslice had essentially just walked through our room door, to our bathroom, vomited all over the bathroom stall, and then right back out the other door.  So, basically we got a Puke N' Run.  Efficient, yes!  Fun to clean no.  OPP (other people's puke) ain't my thing.
I'll end this story with my favorite comment from the article:
"My BFF lives in Wilm, and I can tell you with certainty that this right here is some Wilmington shit. They really can throw down at the beach."

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