November 09, 2011

Happy Poop Day to You!

Do you know what does not go well after fine dining and German Chocolate Cake for your husband's 29th Birthday celebration?


There had been some grumbling from a toilet/bathtub situation in one room. I had a plumber coming on Friday and thought if we just didn't use that bathroom until then it'd be fine.

I thought wrong. Sooooo painfully, grossly, fecally wrong.

I came home, walked in our bathroom and screamed. It was truly an explosion of epic proportions. And not the good kind like when you win American Idol.

And to be perfectly honest, German Chocolate Cake is almost 99% less appealing when you've just spent the last hour cleaning up OPP (other people's I said, we hadn't been using the bathroom...and this house was built in the that was probably some vintage dookie we were looking at).

The funniest part of the night, besides Grant telling me that he wants me to clean up a pile of shit for his Birthday present, was the fact that we got to sleep on the Plaza because of it's non-proximity to the explosion.

The Plaza is only the world's most famous mattress. After sleeping on an air mattress for 3 years in DC, Grant finally decided to buy a mattress. But not just any mattress. He got the heaviest mattress known to man. It took 4 of us carry out of the store. And 4 to get in our house.

It also has a huge crevasse in the middle that I fell in many, many times last night.

This morning he said, "I love the Plaza. But it's definitely not as fun to sleep in if you're not wasted after a night out partying on 18th Street in Adam's Morgan." Very specific. And very true. But at least it wasn't near the poo!

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