June 01, 2012

Mother nature would object

Sometimes I think I only want to have boys because I already have two great names picked out, my genes and my jeans are better suited for a manly physique, and because my husband might freak out if he has to one day play Barbies and sip air-tea.

And then other times I think I only want to have boys because of things like this:

This brings a lot of terrible things to mind, like WTF is wrong with these people!? 

But mostly I wonder who the first person to instigate this fad was and how that came to happen.  To me it's like the discovering the first pineapple.  Who would ever look at it and think, "Oh yes, that spiky, prickly bulbous is going to taste like God's gift to the tropics!"

And who would ever think, "Hey, you know what would be a more streamlined way to turn into a babbling drunk mess!?  Let's soak some tampons in Vodka then put them in our vajayays!"

I guess sometimes being "creative" is actually a character flaw.  Don't try to be the Steve Jobs of getting drunk quickly.  It will not make you a millionaire.

Also, I feel bad for the person who unknowingly drinks the remnants of the tampon soaked Vodka.  I'll readily admit that I stole liquor from my parents when I was in high school, but at least I had the decency to refill the bottles with water, not feminine products.

Bitches be crazy.

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