February 18, 2010

You can never be too prepared

Hey there all you dog loving, God fearing shoppers. The crazy store just opened, and have I got a new product for you!

For just $10 per month, you can protect up to 3 pets from the Rapture (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture), by leaving them in the arms of some do-gooder heathens. How convenient!!

The best part is that you can cancel your involvement with the program at any time through Paypal. Just the way that God and the disciples intended.

My favorite aspect of this website is the casual way in which they talk about the hypothetical return of Jesus.

What if the Rapture does not occur while my pet is alive?
"It is certainly possible the Rapture will not occur any time soon."
Ya don't say?! But in the meantime, the only thing more important than protecting yourself against the end of the world, is protecting your $10 investment.

Isn't the world going to be totally collapsed after the Rapture?
"When all the Christians on the planet disappear, there will certainly be massive devastation." Eh, NBD, right?

In all seriousness though, the next Rapture is supposed to be on May 21, 2011, so you might want to sign up before the non-Christians all make vacation plans.

1 comment:

  1. I signed up for this and it really is the investment of a lifetime. The apocolypse is not something that I take lightly and I like to know that my pets will be left here to flourish by a responsible caregiver.

    I just wish that I had thought of this cash cow!