December 22, 2009

Shout out to my dawg Velcro!

Today I want to give a little shout out to Velcro. After decades of housing people's feet and attaching one thing to another, Velcro can add another accolade to its impressive list of accomplishments - LIFE SAVING DEVICE

I have an acquaintance in South America who, as the result of a recent name change, now goes by Jesús. Jesús was recently robbed in Lima, Peru. He was not assaulted with a weapon, but apparently his 4 assailants did raise their voices at him and say mean things! Pobre Jesús!

He did have to part ways with his digital camera, which really really sucks, but thankfully he kept his wallet. How does one keep his wallet when his pockets are literally picked through by thugs?
The magic of VELCRO!! Keeping his wallet perfectly hidden with no zipper to tell of, the unsuspecting robbers missed out on stealing one of the greatest identities of all time.

I had a related incident happen to me once, in which the idiot street thug "robbed" me but never thought to look in my pocket for my wallet (which incidentally had about $80 in cash and an ATM card in it). Instead, this monster got away with ten $1 bills and a useless credit card from my friend's purse.

Folks, there is a reason these people are robbers and not rocket scientists. If you can be fooled by something as amazingly simple as Velcro, you don't deserve someone else's stuff.

Either way, Velcro isn't just for your granddad's shoes anymore. That stuff will save your life.

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