I Gave Myself a Rose

Last night I was alone.  All, all alone.  This is noteworthy because I haven't had a night when I had the house and the DVR to myself, plus no social obligations to attend in more than a year.  It was just me, the couch, and the Bachelorette. 

Hell, last night I was the freaking Bachelorette.  Sure I don't weigh 80 pounds like Emily.  Sure I don't have the best looking veneers that ABC viewers have ever seen.  And sure I don't have an illegitimate child named Ricky.  But I treated myself like a hell of a lady last night, and it was glorious.

After having such a big weekend at my sister's wedding, I was going to go to bed super early, not drink, and eat nothing but a salad.  But instead, after learning that my husband was going to stay elsewhere for the night, I wined, dined, and Channel nined myself (that is the channel that the Bachelorette is on here...not a new sexual thing that you do alone.)  I couldn't resist indulging! 

I love being by myself so much that I think I'd actually like being stranded on an island by myself.  As long as I had endless wine and cable.  I wouldn't even need that much food.  I'm so food/fat creative that I could probably find a way to make a pizza out of sand.  And like it.

If it wasn't humanly impossible to simultaneously survive and be alone, without being a nomad, I'd be happy to give a go.

*Final thought on last night's episode of the Bachelorette:

Who is this guy that is a "Data Destruction Specialist" and how can that be anything other than a professional paper shredder?

My Face Hurts

Remember when I told you that my sister was getting married.  Well, she did.  And I said zero of the 100+ words I typed up for my speech, in favor of something short and sweet that I pulled out of my @$$ last minute.  I got a lot of brownie points for brevity though, I think.

The weekend was a smashing success filled with lots of fun.  I know this because I now have a light smattering of adult acne, the inability to keep my tired eyes open, and a full semi-circle cut on my entire upper lip from where a revolving door unexpectedly stopped on a dime, while I was in it, mid-sip of a glass of wine.  In hindsight, it was pretty clear that everyone was drunk at this point, because when I went around asking a few people if my face was bleeding, no one even asked me why or hinted that that might be an unusual question.

It turns out I may be getting old, but my oil glands on my face and my ability to stay up way too late are not.  This is not a good combination.

The highlights of the weekend, besides seeing lots of amazing friends and family and my sister marrying a wonderful man, were these three things:

1. The Dusty 45s at the rehearsal dinner - http://www.dusty45s.com/

These guys were AMAZING!  Apparently they are trying to get more clients on the East Coast, so East Coast, hook it up!  They are so unique, so energetic, and everyone in the whole place was dancing until they could dance no more...because the band had to stop.  One of the guys in the band even told me that they toured with Adele on the West Coast earlier this year!!!

2. Liquid Pleasure - http://liquidpleasureband.com/wordpress/

This group is always amazing.  In addition to the dapper gentleman pictured on the website, they also had 3 very sassy ladies with them singing and dancing up a storm!  So fun!

3. I found the best new shade of nail polish, at the best walk-in salon I've ever been to.  Five Nail Salon in Greensboro, NC.  No wait, and they even give you neck/back massages mid-manicure!!!  I thought the color was Strawberry Daiquiri by Essie, but I can only find a Peach Daiquiri online so maybe that was it.  I hope I didn't dream it up!

Now, back to reality, back to salads, and back to bed before the AM hours.

What a great weekend!

Pizza-Station

Hark the Sound for Tar Heel asses, being not as fat!

Gumby's has closed!  Check out an article on the closing here. 

I seriously wish this had happened when I was in college.  Not because I want anyone to go out of business.  Just because it would probably have saved me about 20 of my freshman 30.  That's pounds, btw.  Not number of times I was asked out.

They don't call that XXL Pokey Sticks a DAMNIT for nothing.

If you're desperate for a replacement <s>in this time of need</s> the next time you are drunk or hungover, try the Cheese Sticks from Papa John's.  They as good as, if not better than Pokey Sticks.  AND they come with a garlic butter sauce.  I love it when things automatically come with fatty sides or sauces.  Then you can be like, "Oh, I didn't even order this!"  But you can still eat it because it's there.

College will never be the same.

Sissy Gettin' Married

My sister is getting married this weekend!!

I'm so excited and I can't wait to start off the weekend with some sisterly mani/pedis tomorrow! 

Nothing says marital bliss quite like a perfect stranger from Asia massaging your calves and making your nails shiny.

Since I can't afford to do anything drastic like hair extensions or colonics, and since it's not even my wedding, I have been sticking to a strict regimen of free samples from Kiehl's...for approximately 3 days.

I'm sure I'll be positively glowing by the time of the actualy "I Do's".

I also wrote a toast, dismissed it.  Wrote another toast, liked it.  And now, as I progressively get more and more nervous about giving it, I'm sporadically crossing off parts of it to make it shorter, so I don't drown in a pool of my own nervous sweat.

At this rate, by the time I give it it's going to be something like this:

"Hi, I'm the sister of the bride.  Love...Cheers!"

That way I can keep things short, awkward, and all about me.

So excited for dancing, laughing, and fun!!!

Rogue Vintage - Giveaway Day!

Happy Humpday Everyone!  How would you like to celebrate this joyous day with a giveaway!

My fabulous friend is hosting an uber stylish giveaway sponsored by her company Rogue Vintage.

Check out the link to the giveaway on her blog:

http://roguevintageblog.blogspot.com/2012/06/rogue-vintage-mad-men-giveaway.html

And while you're perusing the World Wide Web, check out her clothing website here: http://www.roguevintage.com/

Image from RogueVintageblog.blogspot.com

The giveaway is inspired by Mad Men and there is some great stuff to be won! 
Who doesn't love Mad Men?!  And who doesn't like winning fabulous stuff?!

There are 4 ways to enter.  Check them out here. 

There's only one day left to enter so hurry!!

Secret Garden Cup

You know how some people have a "secret garden"?  Or at least some girl did in a book a when I was little...

Well I have this secret cup.

It has been sitting on top of the mailbox behind my office for almost a month.  Since I am the only one with security clearance to check the mail (read: bottom of the totem pole), I am the only one who sees this cup.

We have had rain and wind out the wazoo and it's still just perched there like a marble statue.  I'm mystified and even more frightened by how mystified I am.  I guess when you're the person responsible for dropping off and retrieving people's mail, both professional and personal, you have to believe in magic sometimes so that you don't have to face the fact that you're amounting to nothing professionally.  It's the little things.

You know how at baby showers people guess the exact date when the baby will be born?  Well how about we play a game and see who can guess when this cup will finally disappear.

Whoever gets closest or right on the money gets a $25 gift certificate to Olive Garden.  No, really.  I have one that I am dying to give away.

As far as I know it's not filled with cement so it's fair game!

Leave your guesses in the comments :)