Food Network Style Icons, and the bodies they work so hard to coverup

Ina is to the oversized Oxford shirt as The Pioneer Woman is to the XL Tunic. 

 

(As Anne Burrell is to the most insane hairdo ever, but I can't even handle her so let's not even go there....This does not make me "a happy girl").

 

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Ladies, we've all seen you put 4 sticks of butter in your shortbread.  We don't expect that you'd have washboard abs underneath your clothes.  No need to put the cotton equivalent of a burlap sack on your torso and think you are fooling anyone.

 

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I miss Paula.  At least she embraced her curves and electric white teeth with some vibrant colors and fitting shirts!   Sigh...

 

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On a side note, is there anyone more annoying on the Food Network than Sandra Lee?  I swear to local channel 66, if she asks me one more time, "Can I just tell you?"...Lady, you have your own TV show!  The whole point is for you to just tell me.  Silence!

BEST DAY EVER!!

OMG.

OMG.

OMG.

The one and only Ina Garten responded to my Facebook query about which Le Creuset pot to buy.  I never in a million years dreamed that she would respond but, because she is so amazing and classy, she did!

 

 

 

Thank you Ina!

Chicken Piccata with Crispy English Potatoes

I finally got back in the kitchen this week after a long hiatus due to my Real Estate class...and the holidays...and the fact that I went to Hooters on Christmas night instead of cooking something myself.

 

It was so fun to be back at it.  I celebrated my return with an oldie but a goodie in Barefoot Contessa's Chicken Piccata.  One of my all time favorites! 

 

 

 

Alongside that lemony lusciousness I served a new to me recipe from this most amazing new cookbook by Ina Garten - Barefoot Contessa Foolproof.  That woman can do no wrong in my eyes.

 

The sidedish I chose for this particular night was Crispy English Potatoes.  I found the recipe online but I'm not sure if it's a legal link so I'm not going to post it.  Long story short, you boil potatoes and let them simmer for 10 minutes, then put them on a baking sheet with some crispy pancetta and roast at 425 for about 45 mintues with lots of salt and pepper and olive oil. 

BTW, the moral of that short story is that you NEED TO BUY THIS BOOK.  It has so many good recipes with all of my favorite ingredients.  I can't wait to make them all.  Thank you to my sissy for the perfect Christmas present!

 

 

 

Stay tuned in 2013 for lots more cooking!

Diveats - Eggplant Gratin (In Mini Dishes!!)

I feel like I haven't cooked anything epic recently. Which is unfortunate and annoying, because I have made some attempts recently. One of which was a recipe for short ribs that I spent 3 days making, took 40+ pictures, and burnt the hell out of my hand for, and they were, in a word, terrible. Terrible as in, inedible. Not just not up to great standards.

This recipe was much better. Although I still want to make them again with my own adaptations to make them even better. I made this recipe for Eggplant Gratin by Barefoot Contessa in some very petite and inexpensive Le Creuset dishes I found on sale at Williams Sonoma.

Start with an eggplant. I don't know how much it weighs when sliced, I just went with one. Beautiful, no?

Then make this incredible sauce.
As usual with with Ina's recipes I nix the fatty fatty ingredients and just use what I have and what doesn't make me feel like I am going to die on the spot from heart failure. That meant in this recipe that I nixed the half and half for skim milk and omitted the full-fat Ricotta for goat cheese, because I had it and because I like it much better.

(Enter a complex story about my former obsession with manicotti at Elizabeth's Pizza in Greensboro, NC and my affection for track suits as a pre-teen. Long story short, I ordered my usual manicotti, it came piping hot, and somehow got spilled down the sleeve of my track suit, trapping itself in my sleeves and forever ruining my taste for ricotta stuffed shells.

The recipe and the episode of Barefoot Contessa says to fry the eggplant slices like this...




Until they look like this:

I found that to be too greasy and would probably even steam them next time before adding them to the dishes. Then the fun starts.

Layer with eggplant, marinara, more eggplant and Parmesan cheese, and then the sauce.

And then more cheese. Don't forget, this is an Ina recipe after all!

I put mine in a baking dish because I just knew that cheese mixture was going to explode over in some fashion. Indeed it did.

And then I baked it until it became golden and crispy and luscious like this:

Once again, at a different angle:

T'was glorious. But also was too greasy. Like I said, next time I'm going to steam them for a less greasy outcome.

I mean, I have to make this again. I bought the dishes on sale, but it was $6.99 a pop. I have to make at least $13.98 worth of deliciousness to make myself feel OK about buying the mini dishes.

It's a tough job, but some whitey's gotta do it!

Just a Drizz

Ina Garten is to a "drizzle" of Olive Oil as I am to having "one" drink (i.e., does not happen).

Ina, 4 Tablespoons is not a drizzle. Self, a bottle of wine is not a drink.

Home is Where the Big Fat Lie Is

I learned some very unsettling information this week.

Apparently neither Giada At Home nor Nigella Kitchen are filmed in either one of their homes or kitchens!

I feel so dupped. Now I would give anything to see one of these shows filmed. What do they do with the food since they are clearly NOT serving it to their families at their homes?!

This does, however, make me a little less concerned about Giada's OCD issues, as her "house" is always freakishly clean. But this does nothing to explain the stupid surf boards that sit outside the translucent windows in the kitchen. Or why she is always running "upstairs" to change.

And when Nigella goes late night in her bathrobe to grub on the remnants of her pies, is she actually just doing that in her studio kitchen...midday...with the lights off?

This gives me mad respsect for the Original Gansta Ina Garten. That show is straight up filmed in her house. What she lacks in wearing anything besides oversized button up shirts, she makes up for in honesty.

In related news, if you want to watch the most annoying episode ever of Giada at Home, I suggest the Pasta Party. Between her pronunciations of Pasta, Ricotta, Parmesan Reggiano, and Penne, it's enough to make you want to never travel to Italy again. Or even your local Olive Garden .

Liars!

@InaGarten in my dreams

After recently proclaiming to my sister and husband, "That's it! The Internet is over!" my sister encouraged me to start getting more into Twitter.

Of course I obliged because she is wise, and because I think I really had reached the end of the World Wide Web, at least as it pertains to things that I give a crap about (i.e., Mariah Carey, divas, recipes, and restaurants).

So I started following some randos, like Huffington Post, People Magazine, Giada DeLaurantis.

And I got to thinking, how funny/predictable Ina Garten's tweets would be if she was on Twitter.

@InaGarten I just got the best deal on a bunch of monochromatic Button Up Shirts. Size XXL and still growing!

@Ina Garten Jeffrey just got home from his mysterious job far, far away! Roast chicken for everyone!

@InaGarten I just experimented using "really bad" dijon mustard instead of "really good" dijon mustard. Living life on the edge - Hamptons Style bitches!

Love you Ina!

*No lie, if you Google Image Ina Garten, she is wearing a one-tone button up shirt in every single picture. The lady loves her buttons! And she sure ain't scurred of denim!

Diveats - Pecan Squares

Todays Diveats is brought to you by this recipe from Barefoot Contessa.

I know it looks like minced meat in the photo, but those are actually very rich Pecan Bars.

This is, to date, the most extreme, decadant dessert I've ever made.

It calls for not one, not two, not five, not eight, but NINE sticks of butter.

I made this with a colleague as a Thank You treat for some people in my office and we were both in shock as we saw what the Doctor (Ina) ordered for the recipe.

I made sure to eat just the top of one. It's hard to binge on your creation when you know that each bar literally has almost half a stick of butter in it.

T'was good, and fun to bake. But never again shall I make these. I feel like there are a lot of other desserts that taste as good without the absurd amount of fat.

Diveats - Chicken Gyro with homemade Tzatziki sauce

Today's lunch is brought to you by my homemade chicken gyro. Sponsored by my even more hommade Tzatziki sauce using this recipe from my homegirl Ina.

As always I used less lemon than the recipe called for, because I just hate overly lemony things SO much.

I highly recommend this for a lunch or dinner. It tastes fresh and delicious, loaded with tomatoes, grilled chicken, feta cheese, tzatziki, and red onions. And the only component that really has an substantial calories is the pita itself.

So yum. So Greek. So necessary.