Food Network Style Icons, and the bodies they work so hard to coverup

Ina is to the oversized Oxford shirt as The Pioneer Woman is to the XL Tunic. 

 

(As Anne Burrell is to the most insane hairdo ever, but I can't even handle her so let's not even go there....This does not make me "a happy girl").

 

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Ladies, we've all seen you put 4 sticks of butter in your shortbread.  We don't expect that you'd have washboard abs underneath your clothes.  No need to put the cotton equivalent of a burlap sack on your torso and think you are fooling anyone.

 

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I miss Paula.  At least she embraced her curves and electric white teeth with some vibrant colors and fitting shirts!   Sigh...

 

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On a side note, is there anyone more annoying on the Food Network than Sandra Lee?  I swear to local channel 66, if she asks me one more time, "Can I just tell you?"...Lady, you have your own TV show!  The whole point is for you to just tell me.  Silence!

I Heart Paula

I just have to get this off my chest:

 

I LOVE PAULA DEEN

 

Genius

 

 

Sure, she uses more butter in a dish than should be consumed in a month.

 

Sure, she makes "o's" sound like "a's" and unabashedly abuses the word "y'all".

 

Sure, she might have used a racial slur in the past and gotten caught.  But who hasn't made mistakes and said something they wish they could take back?  No one I know!

 

I think Paula Deen is a charming, inspiring, loving, generous woman.  And I used to watch her everyday at the gym on the Food Network.  I know, it seems counterproductive to watch someone make cookie dough truffles and mayonnaise pies while you are getting your cardio on.  But damnit, she kept me entertained and she kept me pushing on that elliptical. 

 

Now all I have is the Pioneer Woman who makes dishes that are in no way recipes and that do not at all require a television show.  Like club sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies, to name a few recent examples.  And oh, by the way, Ree, you are great but I don't give a rat's ass about your horses.  Give me Paula back! 

 

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If we can forgive Bill Clinton for having an affair with a homely intern and Chris Brown for beating a woman (sidenote: I have and never will forgiven him for this and despise him), than FOR THE LOVE, can we please forgive this Southern teddy bear of a woman for a past mistake.  If we don't, there could be many butter farmers out there that won't be able to give their kids Christmas this year. 

 

You aren't just hurting my gym entertainment Food Network, you're hurting the kids.

Backyard Produce

Recently I signed up for an awesome program called Backyard Produce - website here.

I have only received 2 boxes thus far, but so far I love it!  It's such a good vehicle to try new and healthy things.  I am currently enrolled in the "Flying Solo" program which is $25 per week.  At first that sounded kind of steep because this was all I got in my first box:

This is the box that appears on my doorstep each Tuesday.  It's like Produce Christmas once a week!

 

The first thing Grant said was, "...That's it?"

But then I realized I can order smarter than this.  So this was my next order:

Rainbow Carrots!  Butternut Squash!  Green beans!  Fresh bread!  Tangelos!  Cucumbers!  All organic!!!

This week the Flying Solo basket has proven to be more than enough food for a few dinner sides (and mains).  Mama knows how to stretch a dollar! 

My favorite part about this program is that it inspires me to make dishes I wouldn't have otherwise made because I wouldn't have otherwise bought certain vegetables.  Take for instance this amazing pasta I made last night.

Normally I would never make a) Pasta or b) a Vegetarian dish.  But boy was I glad I did!  I used this recipe from Giada - Penne with Butternut Squash and Goat Cheese - (but I used whole grain bow tie) and it knocked my socks off. 

 

If you don't watch the Food Network religiously like I do than you might not know this amazing tidbit - You don't need to add cream to have a creamy pasta sauce!  All you need to do is add cheese to hot pasta than add some of the pasta water that you cooked the pasta in.  The combination of those two ingredients makes a creamy sauce that coats each piece of pasta and provides decadence to the max.  Added cream and fat is for the birds!

 

I can't wait to see what I can get in my box next week.  This is so fun.  It's like a food challenge/mystery each week.  Challenge accepted!  It feels great to eat fresh, organic produce while supporting NC farmers. Win, win, win!...Then eat :)

Home is Where the Big Fat Lie Is

I learned some very unsettling information this week.

Apparently neither Giada At Home nor Nigella Kitchen are filmed in either one of their homes or kitchens!

I feel so dupped. Now I would give anything to see one of these shows filmed. What do they do with the food since they are clearly NOT serving it to their families at their homes?!

This does, however, make me a little less concerned about Giada's OCD issues, as her "house" is always freakishly clean. But this does nothing to explain the stupid surf boards that sit outside the translucent windows in the kitchen. Or why she is always running "upstairs" to change.

And when Nigella goes late night in her bathrobe to grub on the remnants of her pies, is she actually just doing that in her studio kitchen...midday...with the lights off?

This gives me mad respsect for the Original Gansta Ina Garten. That show is straight up filmed in her house. What she lacks in wearing anything besides oversized button up shirts, she makes up for in honesty.

In related news, if you want to watch the most annoying episode ever of Giada at Home, I suggest the Pasta Party. Between her pronunciations of Pasta, Ricotta, Parmesan Reggiano, and Penne, it's enough to make you want to never travel to Italy again. Or even your local Olive Garden .

Liars!