Ninja Nigella NoSun

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Oh. Honey. No.

If you are this scared of the sun, then just flop around in the bath in you want to swim so bad!

That canNOT be comfortable. I hate the feeling of swimming in clothes. It makes me feel like I'm going to sink. I can't imagine that this Ninja suit is all that bouyant.

Nor is it even slightly flattering to her buxom body, which usually I find quite delightful.

Nigella, you might need to stick to your fake kitchen and leave the sunbathing to the pros.

Home is Where the Big Fat Lie Is

I learned some very unsettling information this week.

Apparently neither Giada At Home nor Nigella Kitchen are filmed in either one of their homes or kitchens!

I feel so dupped. Now I would give anything to see one of these shows filmed. What do they do with the food since they are clearly NOT serving it to their families at their homes?!

This does, however, make me a little less concerned about Giada's OCD issues, as her "house" is always freakishly clean. But this does nothing to explain the stupid surf boards that sit outside the translucent windows in the kitchen. Or why she is always running "upstairs" to change.

And when Nigella goes late night in her bathrobe to grub on the remnants of her pies, is she actually just doing that in her studio kitchen...midday...with the lights off?

This gives me mad respsect for the Original Gansta Ina Garten. That show is straight up filmed in her house. What she lacks in wearing anything besides oversized button up shirts, she makes up for in honesty.

In related news, if you want to watch the most annoying episode ever of Giada at Home, I suggest the Pasta Party. Between her pronunciations of Pasta, Ricotta, Parmesan Reggiano, and Penne, it's enough to make you want to never travel to Italy again. Or even your local Olive Garden .

Liars!

Ode to Nigella

I know I'm about a decade late to jump on the bandwagon, but I just recently became OBSESSED with the Food Network.

I will forever be grateful for last Saturday, when I woke up so early that my body eventually rejected standing around high noon and forced me to watch 10 hours of Ina, Giada, and the new love of my life Nigella!

Especially now that it's getting chilly outside and way too dark to wake up in the mornings, all I want to do is sleep in until 10am and watch these beautiful, chubby strangers make dishes I can't afford to make on my own all day long!

Although it's hard to stomach Giada's cheerleader enthusiasm and Paula Dean's multiple butter orgasms, I could listen to Ina and that beautiful, wonderful Nigella all day long.

Something about Nigella tell me in her sensual accent that I was "absolutely forbidden to use anything other than a fork to fluff the rice" made me feel like we had officially become friends.

I also like Mexican Made Easy, but there's something about her frequent switch from English to Spanish that I find unsettling.

Viva la Food Network!!