December 20, 2011

In New York

More on my trip to the Big Apple...

Well, as many of you know, I've been searching for the perfect wallet for about 3 months now. Remember this awesome exchange with some unexpected jabrones in Shanghai? After 10+ emails in highly broken English with a woman named Cherish, and the loss of a 5% international transaction fee, I was informed that OutletMichaelKors.com no longer had my order in stock. Splendid.

So I did what any low-brow unknowing southerner would do, I went to Bergdorf Goodman thinking I'd find something sensible there! I should have known after seeing the window displays that this was not the place for me.

Pardon the glare on most of these photos, but allow me to describe these confusing displays of fashion.

Below we have a Walrus dressed in a tuxedo, with his friend the Ram, and Lion, on a glacier. It was already about 30 degrees in NYC that day. I find it unlikely that one would be inclined to buy the haute couture on the one human in this display who is sitting on a glacier with well dressed arctic animals...but that's just me.





Next we have 2 albino birds in sparkly silver dresses. Nothing steps up a ball gown like a nice beak accessory. They should probably consider putting on some earrings though. I mean COME ON!

Behold the 3 teeth baring wolves staring at themselves in the mirror, dressed in blazers and fitted slacks. I simply do not remember the fairy tale from my youth that tells of the 3 vain wolves measuring each other's inseams. I must have been sick that day.


I am pretty sure that neon lighting says "Aggressive Night". I'll say! And it is weird that the strangest thing in this display is not the cardinal head? Look at that jacket! You may leave the runway.





Finally! Something traditional! A charcoal suit with a classic diagonal striped tie...on a lion who is bench-pressing in his Sunday best.



Needless to say Bergdorf's was not the home of my future wallet. I just "wasn't in the mood" for Prada or Chanel that day.

Other finds at other stores...


The toeless leather boat. For those chilly winter days when your body wants to be warm, but your heart wants to be a slut a show some unnecessary skin.



This one is hard to make out, but rest assured, the woman in the background was wearing ALL of her hair on one side of her head. And she had a LOT of hair. (The woman in the forefront is my #1 supporter of all things blog related. And my mom.)




Well gosh. I guess that's all! New York City is wonderful but most def not going to be my "forever home". I cherish things like backyards, glasses of wine under $15, and the ability to call a cab 15 minutes in advance, knowing that a toothless or over talkative country boy will pick you up and be your best friend by the time you reach your destination.

Unsuccessfully trying to hail a cab for 20 minutes, and/or running after a stranger I thought was my sister and getting in the wrong cab is just not good for my confidence.


I heart NC!


1 comment:

  1. I was really hoping for a picture of the wallet! My days feel a little more empty without that search :)

    ReplyDelete