Well played, Sir

This was a recent ad on my Facebook feed.  I don't know how the widgets get in the mind of the computer user like they do, but they do it well:

 

Equal Rights for All...And more butter for Paula

Yesterday it made me giggle out of embarrassment every time I scrolled through Facebook and saw, among the sea of Equal Rights profile pictures, the silly people who had just changed their profile pictures to "selfies" (even typing that makes me feel like a dbag, btw) and pictures of sandwiches. 

 

Source

It all feels a little ridiculous when all anyone else who watches the news can talk about is a' brewin' on the news feed. I just kept wondering..."do they even know?"

 

But I can get on board with a little ridiculousness.  So keep posting those pictures of your feet on the beach and your trip to the aquarium.  At least nobody forbids sea life to be with who they want.

 

And just for a little giggle in the sea of a very serious issue, I present to you, Paula Deen getting hit in the face with a ham.  I love that woman.

 

 

What the What: Part Deux

Right after I posted my previous post about the random fat baby facebook ad, I got this ad (also for 1 Year counseling degree):

That's a foot tat that sas "Faith"

So now I know two things to be true. 1) Facebook clearly just randomly generates a photo for some ads, that have absolutely nothing to do with what they are advertising. And 2) I check Facebook too much.

What the What?

I just got this ad on my facebook homepage.  

 

 

What does becoming a counselor in 1 year have to do with obese babies?  Oh that's right...nothing.

 

But you did get my attention you evil geniuses.  I'll give you that!

Oh helllllll No!

Just got this message on my facebook homepage today.

Nooooooo!

I resisted for so long.  How could this happen?!

I cracked the code

To all near and future honeymooners out there: Please stop posting pictures of yourself in your honeymoon suite in a bathrobe with your new spouse.

We know that means you just had sex. And we don't ever need to know that you just had sex.

Same goes for pictures of the bubble baths you are about to take - and have sex in. As well as the pictures of the rose petals on your bed - that you are about to remove so you can get in the bed and have sex.

This is TMI at it's most obvious. And, especially if you are Facebook friends with your parents, it needs to go away immediately. ICK!

@Shut Up

I still wonder why some people don’t have Facebook. Or use Hotmail or AOL instead of Gmail.

And to be perfectly honest, I don’t trust those people.

Unless you are over the age of 60, in which case you are Grandfathered into the permanent state of @aol.com, then you probably aren’t joining Facebook or Gmail just because you don’t want to be the norm.

In which case, I’m air slapping you in the face.

I have a friend who won’t watch Jersey Shore. Not because it’s stupid or insulting to one’s intelligence (which it is not, it is the best show ever). But because “it’s too mainstream.”

Gag. The only thing worse than being genuinely too mainstream is doing it under the guise of being unique.

Oh and don’t get me started on people who don’t drink just because they “don’t want to.” I don’t trust you either. Unless you are a bonafide alcoholic, bottoms up bitches. Drinking is fun.

Just a thought...

Is it really necessary to put Sonogram pictures up on facebook? It seems like some things should be sacred...

No? Just me? Ok fine.

Related complaint: http://www.divasayswhat.com/2010/01/happy-new-years-divas.html

Shhhh! It's ok to be private sometimes!

Awkward-book

Have you ever "removed" a mass amount of people on facebook?

I recently removed about 300 "friends" in honor of National Unfriend Day.

Everything was all fine and dandy until about a week ago...when they all started adding me back!

The first person to ask me to be his friend again was a guy I hadn't talked to since high school...almost nine years ago!

And the most recent re-request??!! The RA of my freshman dormroom eight years ago! Wtf?! Surely these people don't really care what's going on in my life!

This is going to get so awkward if more and more people start to discover my unfriendship. Oh well, 'tis the season to be brutally honest!

Sad-Facebook

Nothing dramatic ever happens on facebook anymore :(

I miss the days of opening up my homepage, only to discover that Suzy Glasses from middle school was expecting an illegitimate child. Or that Francis Fabulous had finally come out of the closet. Or that Connie Conservative was in an interracial relationship.

Now it's all about Billy Boring bitching about his football team and Gretchen Gradschool complaining about the paper she has to write.

This is a call to my many, many facebook friends out there: Stop playing by the book! Start testing behavioral norms and social boundaries! For me, please?!

And finally, don't even get me started on the "Photos" feed. Does facebook really expect me to believe that with over 1500 friends only ONE person has uploaded photos in the last day?

RIP Original facebook. Your user friendliness and photo updates on the reg will always be greatly missed.