September 09, 2014

Acupucture Gone Terribly Wrong

Yesterday I watched a woman named "Bobbie" on the Today Show talking about her journey to get pregnant.  She is now getting acupuncture and doing cupping, along side her 3rd round of IVF, in her attempt to get pregnant.
First of all, I applaud her willingness to be so open about her struggles to get pregnant.  I have never understood why people feel the need and society reinforces the drama of keeping such a struggle a secret.  If anything, that is the time in a woman's life in which she needs more support and love then ever.  Not to feel like a shunned, barren, outsider with a dark secret.
All I ever wanted to say when someone was blunt enough to ask me when I was going to start having kids was, "Well, Nosey McGee, how much time do you have?  I've been trying for a year!  Thanks for asking.  Please allow me to tell you the emotional details."
On a related note, I think it should be fair for all women of child bearing age to ask, in response to people who feel your reproductive status is their business, "Well since we are getting personal, how much money do you make?  And how much did you pay for your house?  And how many people have you slept with?"  If my business is their business, you best believe I want some personal information in return.
Back to my original point, I tried acupuncture when I was trying to get pregnant.  I also tried not eating gluten or dairy for like a day and that was wretched.  But I am finally ready to laugh about my absolutely, positively heinous acupuncture experience.  So here it is.
First of all, I had to wait for 40 minutes in the waiting room (which the doctor(?) blamed on her receptionist. LAME).  I hate waiting even more than I hate being late, which is A LOT!  And as I was for a large portion of this period of my life, I was just a general emotional disaster.  So add those factors to the 100 degree weather outside and my general nervousness about the procedure, and it was just a sweaty disaster waiting to happen.
Which is exactly what happened. 
Within the first minute I broke down sobbing when telling her my struggle, because somehow saying sad things out loud makes them that much more true, and sad.  Then she poked me with the needles which didn't hurt at all.  And then I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  With the exception of her checking on me about 10 minutes into the process, I concluded at the end that she left me waiting in the hot room with dozens of needles in my body for approximately an hour and 45 minutes. 
The only thing I was more than nervous that they had actually closed the practice and forgotten about me, was absolutely LIVID.  At one point I was screaming at the top of my lungs, "HELP ME!  SOMEONE HELP ME!" over and over.
You see, I couldn't just get up and leave because I had needles in my arms, hands, face, stomach, etc.  I didn't know what my movement options were without making myself bleed out.  Well at least that was my first thought.  After I while I was positively fuming and I just started taking the needles out.  I took a few out and then decided I still better wait on the tardy torturer.
She finally returned after over an hour apologizing for the wait.  I told her how extremely dissatisfied I was, that I had been screaming for help for 30 minutes with no response, and that I was going to be an hour late to a dinner with friends thanks to her.  She seemed not to care at all and still charged be $100 for my troubles.
I have a theory on being a provider of such services.  If you have to make people wait, which apparently you do because there is a wait at every doctor's office in the world seemingly, then don't pick the emotional, infertile disaster of a new patient to abandon for an hour and a half on her first session.  Maybe pick the old timer who actually already believes in your Eastern Medicine ways and take a risk with him or her.  Because now I will never, ever, ever go back!
I actually did end up getting pregnant shortly thereafter.  But I am hesitant to give any credit to acupuncture because if anything that experience was so traumatic that it set it back from high stress levels.

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