August 01, 2014

Thoughts on Motherhood - Week 18

1. I really have no idea how many weeks old my child is anymore, until I write these posts.  I have officially reentered the real world of months.  Hallelujah.  Don't you just hate parents who measure things in weeks when you don't have children and still use real things like months and years?  I did.
2. At the rate I'm losing hair I'm going to be bald by my October trip to NYC, thus dashing my dreams of getting an Ambush Makeover by Kathie Lee and Hoda on the 3rd hour of the today show.
Extreme sad face.
3. Recently my morning breath ricocheted off of my cup when I was drinking some water in the middle of the night.  As my eyes began to water from the lovely scent, I started to feel bad about all the middle of the night feedings Jack had in which he was subjected to this foul odor.  Then I started thinking about the days of getting no more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time and realized that life is pretty good right now. 
How is that for a convoluted way to be optimistic about something?
4.  I am an idiot.  One Sunday I wanted to sleep in so badly that I made a big sassy fuss about how I wake up all hours of the night during the weekdays, so the weekends were Grant's time to wake up early and often.  I was like the Joan of Arc of the weeks so by God I was going to sleep until 9am on Sunday!
Then when Monday rolled around I realized that I had no leg to stand on asking for help.  Ever.  No sleep on a Sunday is ever worth it during the week at 3am when you want to ask your husband to check on the baby but can't because you are a stubborn asshole.  I now know that.
* I have no idea what Joan of Arc actually did but I know she was brave!...and that she died.  So basically we are living parallel lives.
5.  Rolling over is the least rewarding trick ever.  It reminds me of the bowl my mom has for used K Cups next to her coffee maker.  The trash can is only 4 feet away.  Rolling over is the pointless K Cup bowl on the way to crawling.  Just get to the real thing.  It's no fun to have manually turn over a baby again and again who is now neither happy being beached on his stomach or being return to his starting position on his back.
6.  A baby's happiness in the morning upon seeing your face, each and every day, is both the cheapest thing to get and the most valuable thing to have.  It actually makes me excited about the mornings too!  Words that my pre-baby self never would have uttered unless there was a nice breakfast spread involved.
Not how he really sleeps, obvi

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