April 14, 2014

Tips from a new mom to the general public (on asking about a woman's pregnancy)

Unless you are the one who A) got her pregnant, B) are attending a baby shower for her, or C) witnessing a baby's head crowning out of her hooha, do not ever bring up a woman's pregnancy to her.
Because there is a good chance she might not even be pregnant.
Like the guy who gave me a pedicure a week after I gave birth.  When I told him the towel he put on my legs was too hot, which might as well have been on fire, he asked me if it was too hot for the baby too...the baby who was in fact sitting at home and not in my stomach.
It's really more awkward for the other person than for you when someone asks you about being pregnant when, in fact, you are not anymore.  But it's still pretty damn awkward for all parties involved.
Just don't go there.

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