Barefoot Contessa Foolproof Indeed

I recently made two really delicious recipes from Ina's latest cookbook, Barefoot Contessa - Foolproof. 

They were just straight up wonderful so without further ado, here they are:

White Bean and Arugula Salad 

I used spinach because I'm just not an arugula fan.  I also used canned beans instead of dried because I couldn't find dried cannellini beans to save my life.  It was warm and flavorful with a gourmet twist.

This would be wonderful on it's own or served with a nice tuna steak or chicken breast.

Crispy Mustard-Roasted Chicken

I used a mixture of chicken breasts and chicken drumsticks because a) I only like skinless, chicken breasts and b) it was the post apocalypse/ice storm here in Wilmington and there was no good chicken selection to be had.

And this would be amazing served with mashed potatoes.  I recently saw an episode of her show in which she served this with cheesy grits, another comforting side idea.

Two wonderful recipes, one delicious dinner.

Setting the bar low

Because I refuse to spend $300 putting my baby on a chinchilla rug and having his photo taken right after I quit my job, this is totally going to be me/Jack.

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Poor, poor little lad.  He won't know his mom is a low-budget bitch until he realizes all the other kids at school have things like smash cakes and smocked outfits.  And he just...doesn't.

The End of an Era

This week marks the beginning of the end of a few monumental things in my life.

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For starters, it is the last week of my 20's.  I turn 30 this Saturday.  

Do you want to know a good way to not give a rat's ass about turning 30?  Be 9 months pregnant on your Birthday.  Suddenly getting older seems a lot less significant than the human being that is about to exit your body and enter your life.  Forever.

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It also marks the end of my illustrious business career in real estate and beyond.  I'm officially retiring this Friday.  Most people who retire when they are 29 are super rich Internet bubble geniuses who are going to sit back on their mega yachts and count their monies.   I, on the other hand, am going to stock up on Ramen Noodles and nearly expired meats and start couponing my ass off.  I shall consider it my greatest challenge to date.

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 I don't even know if the people at my office know I'm leaving, but I'm sure they don't really care. When the most frequently asked question you get at your workplace is why you have hot sauce on your desk, rest assured, you will not be that missed by the end of the next week. 

And finally, this week, and today specifically, mark the end of my prenatal yoga experience.  Thank the yogi gods above that today's class was the last class of my yoga package, because I simply cannot salute the sun anymore at this size.  

You know it's time to temporarily hang up your yoga pants when you are involuntarily making the following position modifications:

Downward Down ---> Paralyzed Polar Bear that has just been hit with a tranquilizer dart

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Child's Pose ---> Depressed, defeated sumo wrestler

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Happy Baby ---> Actual woman giving birth

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It's not even so much the size of my stomach standing in my way as it is the sensation of a 20 lb bowling bowl hanging right in and around my pubic bone.  The pain is real.  And it is increasing by the minute.  

One more modification that is temporarily permanent in my life:

TGIF ---> TGIOHTMWLTGA (Thank Goodness I Only Have Three More Weeks Left To Go...Allegedly)

We Run the World Girls

Recently I went to a party and had a pretty revealing encounter with two separate individuals.

One came up to me unprovoked (never seen her before in my life), and told me that parenthood was a total emotional roller coaster...and that she hadn't slept in two months, felt like a zombie, and had never worn so much concealer under her eyes in her life.  She had a 9 week old.

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I guess my plump stomach serves as an "Advice Wanted" sign so I don't have to wear an actual one.  But the girl was cute and it was a really nice encounter.  And a tiny bit scary.

Then as I was leaving the party, I got more advice from a man outside who also saw my invisible sign and told me, "Having a baby is the best thing ever.  It's so much fun!  I have a 9 week old and it's just great."  His take on being a parent was drastically less dramatic.

My womanly instincts told me this might be the laid back baby daddy to that exhausted woman inside.  I asked if by any chance he had a 9 week old.  He said yes.  I told him I just talked to his wife who said she was exhausted and hadn't slept in 2 months.

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His response, "Well, sure, she does 90% of the parenting duties.  But it's really fun for me!"

Their markedly different states of parenthood and its effects did not go unnoticed.

I have a feeling this is only the beginning of a lot of perceived parenting injustices in my future.  If you do the crime you have to do the time.  And if you have the boobs in free time and sleep you lose! (Patent pending on that expression).

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I'm ready!

Pork Medallions in Mushroom Marsala Sauce

Sometimes I just can't eat another chicken breast.  So I always, always buy pork tenderloins when they are on sale.  And then I always, always make my beloved Party Pork.

But recently I decided to switch it up and make this recipe:

Pork Medallions in Mushroom Marsala Sauce

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The results were outstanding.  I served this with diced, roasted crispy fingerling potatoes, and roasted asparagus tossed in a Mushroom and Sage Olive Oil that I purchased at Taste the Olive in Wilmington.  Divine!

I dare say it was a showstopper in looks as well.  I kept it in my large sautee pan for presentation as the medallions were already laid out so beautifully in the sauce while cooking.

The only problem was that it was during the first snow storm of the year and Grant was at his buddy's house drinking until around 9pm (which he thought was 7pm??), so it was a show stopper for 1.  

I rarely make elaborate meals for just myself.  And I never, ever make cream based dishes with two sides and 6 servings to eat by myself at 8:45 at night.  I felt like a rich, glutinous European woman when I dined solo on this masterpiece.  But I've had bigger problems than that before, so I coped and persevered.  It was worth all the hardship.

Make this for your lover, friends, or family today and they will be sure to kiss the cook and sing your praises.

 

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 lb. pork tenderloin (about 2 tenderloins)
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 3 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 Tbs. unsalted butter
• 2 medium shallots, finely diced
• 12 oz. cremini mushrooms, thinly sliced
• 1 Tbs. all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup dry Marsala
• 1 cup homemade or low-salt chicken broth
• 3 Tbs. heavy cream
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
  
  DIRECTIONS: 
  
  Trim the tenderloins of silverskin and any excess fat. Cut the tenderloins into 2-inch-thick medallions. Flip each medallion onto a cut side and press down with the palm of your hand to flatten slightly. Season the meat with 3/4 tsp. salt and 1/4 tsp. black pepper.
  
  Heat the olive oil and 1 Tbs. of the butter in a large sauté pan over high heat. When the butter is melted and foaming, add half of the meat and sear until nicely browned, 2 to 3 min. Flip and cook the other side until the meat is well browned and slightly firm to the touch, about another 2 min. Transfer to a plate and repeat with the remaining pork.
  
  Melt the remaining 2 Tbs. butter in the pan. Add the shallots and a pinch of salt and sauté for about 30 seconds, using a wooden spoon to scrape up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the mushrooms and sauté until all of the mushroom liquid has evaporated and the mushrooms are golden, about 3 min. Season with 1/2 tsp. salt, sprinkle with the flour, and add the Marsala. Once the Marsala has almost completely evaporated, add the chicken broth and reduce by half, about 3 min. Stir in the cream and parsley, return the pork and any accumulated juices to the pan, and cook, flipping the pork once, until it’s firm to the touch and still a little pink in the middle (cut into a piece to check), 2 to 4 min. Taste for salt and pepper and serve.
  
  ENJOY!

Asian Relaxation

The future of relaxation is here.  And it is called Asian Relaxation Center, located at Racine Commons.

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 Let me start by saying that my dogs haven't just been barking recently.  They have been positively whimpering in pain.  This is my only real pregnancy complaint, but it is real and it is freaking painful.

I have had two people suggest this Asian Relaxation Center to me so I went to check it out last weekend.  It is basically like a walk in spa for massages.  I made an appointment an hour in advance but me thinks that if you just showed up they would be down with that as well.

At first you might think it's a happy ending sort of place.  You go back to a dark room with little to no explanation in English and just wait for someone to come tend to you.  Real talk: The first time I went the anticipation was killing me.  But it's not that sort of establishment...You perverts! 

But then you realize that the only happy ending you are getting here is the most legit, heavenly foot massage of your life, without any of that pesky, "Make yourself comfortable, get under the sheet when you're ready" BS.  

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This is very much a wham, bam, thank you Asian man situation.  And it's my new everything.  I actually went back the very next weekend and thought I'd died and gone to heaven with the foot rub.  I also got a neck/head massage which was really nice, but not as relaxing since laying on your back while pregnant makes you feel like you're going to vom, and explaining that to someone who doesn't speak English makes you feel like you are taking crazy pills.

The foot rubs are the ticket.  I'm sticking to those.

Nonetheless, go to this place.  You can basically get any half hour increment of time you want.  It's typically $1/minute.  Certainly more than I've ever made!  But totally affordable if you just get a half hour ($25/30 minutes for foot).  I might go back every weekend until I have this baby :)  Sorry I'm not sorry at all.  My feet feel like that of an old crippled 600 pound lady and they need to be rubbed.  A lot.

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