I Do...Prefer Comfort Over All Else

Sometimes I feel like I have pulled off a wedding miracle if I can avoid wearing the following items on my person:

 

1) Spanx - you know, because I like to take full breaths

2) Strapless bra - self explanatory

3) Bare shoulders - I am always, always cold and nighttime temperatures make me miserable.

4) Heels - because I'm not a masochists

 

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This weekend I achieved all three.  And with the exception of feeling pretty highly underdressed, I was comfortable all night long.  I wore a long maxi dress, a sweater that hopefully looked like it was part of the ensemble, and sandals.  I had one goal in mind ----> to not freeze.

 

Sometimes to feel the way you want to feel you have to get creative...and risk looking like someone who lost their suitcase and had to fashion an outfit at the local Wings on a last minute's notice.  But you didn't hear me complaining all night long!

No Balls McGee

Either this person got punked or is getting laaaaid on the regular.

 

 

 

Or he is just in a really dominating relationship in which his wife wears the pants. 

Either way, bold statement my friend.

 

True Story: I bought one of these for Grant and my BFF's husband once.  Either Grant or the other guy immediately took it off his car and didn't think it was funny at all.  I can't remember who, but that did not go as planned.  The other one went un-stuck.  Money well spent for sure.

I think you forgot something

 

Um, parents.  I think you forgot something.  And it's not your puppy's food. 

It's your baby!

 

Poor little guy, left so far behind with no faux sticky parents to change his nappies.

 

Oh, maybe the baby is allergic to the dog?  No, wait, they should still take the baby instead of the dog.

 

That's just messed up CR-V.  Someone call Child Services.

Love Your Butt

There are a lot of terrible things in the world.  Some preventable, some coincidental, some genetic.  That being said, you have to give mad props when someone finds away to make one of these terrible things lighthearted.

 

I'm not talking about the Boston Marathon bombing.  As far as I can tell there will never be anything lighthearted about that.

 

I'm talking about your hot off the press DC bus ad to love your butt.  AKA, your Badonkadonk.  Not only is this awesome, it also finally clears up my age old question of how to spell the word Badonkadonk.

 

 

Thank you DC bus and my sister for sending me this well executed ad.  It caught my attention, it made me confused, and then it made me giggle. 

You know...because butts are funny.

 

Especially when you can get a point across about getting checked for colon cancer, while simultaneously making an Apple Bottom with your two hands, unabashedly using the word badonkadonk, and giving me a reason to have a tab on my computer open that says "Love Your Butt".  Well done, Chris4Life Colon Cancer Society.  Well done.

 

And by the way, I can't tell you how excited I am now that there is an international symbol for "butt" catching on.  Now, if I could just get my hands on one of those t-shirts!

 

Do you love your butt?  What do you call it?  I'm pretty much a badonkadonk girl myself.  (The saying of the word, not the having of the donk.  I am a white girl after all.  Although with the way I eat on the weekends my ass could push ethnic boundaries any day now).

 

 

Hay No Fever

 

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You know how Albert Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

 

 

Well, Marilyn Rush just recently said, "The definition of annoying is talking about pollen and hay fever every year and expecting it to not reappear and/or suck."

 

If you are a resident of the east coast of these United States of America, you best recognize that pollen is a fact of life. 

 

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Being a veteran of the front desk of various offices for an unspeakable number of years, I can tell you that there is nothing people love to complain about more than the weather.  The #1 weather component of which is pollen.  Let me just tell you, all future visitors of my body circle - I know that pollen exists.  I see it on my car.  I see it on the ground.  I see it all around. 

 

How about we just agree that I understand from here on out that it is ruining your life.  Every spring.  Every year.  That way you don't have to tell me every time you come inside. 

 

My dad recently asked me if the pollen was bothering me.  My response: "Only when people talk about it."

 

Zing.  Shut up with the pollen.

 

 

 

Do you want to hear girls talk about how we want to lose weight all the time?  Because that's also something that will always be a thing.  But it's still obnoxious.  See how that works?

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Simple Shredded Asparagus Salad

I have recently decided that asparagus is my favorite vegetable.  Besides the fact that it makes your pee stank, it is so, so good and goes with almost anything.

 

It's funny that I love asparagus now because I have a distinct memory of trying it at my grandparents' house when I was younger, than immediately dry heaving all the way to the bathroom because I hated it so much.  Clearly my palette has come a long way since I was a pre-teen.

 

I roast asparagus at least once a week and it never fails me.  However, this week I decided to try a new method to get in my asparagus fix.  And I was lucky enough to stumble upon this recipe:

 

Simple Shredded Asparagus Salad

 (Recipe from MuscleandFitnessHers.com)

Ingredients:
3/4 lb asparagus, (the thicker the better)
1/4 red pepper, finely chopped
1 TB freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 TB + 1 tsp olive oil
2 TB balsamic vinegar
1/4 tsp each: onion powder, sea salt (more or less, to taste), ground black pepper (more or less, to taste)
2 TB reduced-fat, grated parmesan cheese

How to Prepare
1. Using a sharp vegetable peeler, shave the asparagus into paper-thin slices into a large mixing bowl. Hold the tough ends/stems and shave towards the spear. Throw out the tough end once stalk is shaved down.
2. Add all remaining ingredients and mix thoroughly. Enjoy!
 

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In hindsight I'd really like to know how I did stumble upon this, because heaven knows I am not a regular reader of Muscle and Fitness Hers.  But that's neither here nor there.

 

This was SO good as a side dish.  The balsamic vinegar gave it a nice rich tang and the whole vinaigrette just went perfectly with the dainty strands of asparagus.  I served it with chicken sausage and tomato sauce, which was totally random but well received.

 

I did cook my asparagus for about 10 minutes at 400 degrees even though it didn't say to, just because I didn't know if I'd like it raw and didn't want to ruin my whole side dish if I did.  But the dressing is so good I think raw would be just as delicious.  I also shredded about 70% of the asparagus and left some chunky for a variety of textures.

 

I can't recommend this enough!  I have some for leftovers today and I'm already excited for lunchtime :)