My Wife is a Striking Lady

My friend sent this to me.  And I just had to share, for the sheer sake of its specific-ness.

 

 

 

If you can find a bumper sticker this detailed just bee-bopping down the road in Wilmington, NC, can you even imagine what else is out there?

 

My all-time favorite bumper sticker that I've ever seen in real life is, and will always be, "I'd Rather Be Basket Weaving".  I bet that one went flying off the shelves!

 

 

0.0

I saw a sticker yesterday that looked like this:

 



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And it made me go like this:

 

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I don't know if you remember my rant in this post, but I'm not wild about those 13.1 and 26.2 stickers.  It's basically a blaring advertisement to me that says, "We will never be friends."

 

Thanks Mr. 0.0 for making me giggle and hoping that one day we can be friends.

Just, no

I saw this yesterday, on the high holy day, after getting my butt lifted, toned, burned, and handed to me at Pure Barre.  I had to muster all the strength left in my shaking legs to get in the opposite lane I needed to be in to snap this pic at the red light:

 

Women Love Me, Fish Fear Me!!
Fish Naked
That's What She Said

Part of me hopes this is a joke, because it makes no sense.  A play on words is only as good as the words that exist before it.  Which in this case, is not the case.

 

The other, more redneck part of me, really likes the gusto with which this truck driver just went for it with rapid fire succession of expressions that reflect his love for fishing and unoriginality. 

 

And that last little part of me is just really, really sore from Pure Barre.

No Balls McGee

Either this person got punked or is getting laaaaid on the regular.

 

 

 

Or he is just in a really dominating relationship in which his wife wears the pants. 

Either way, bold statement my friend.

 

True Story: I bought one of these for Grant and my BFF's husband once.  Either Grant or the other guy immediately took it off his car and didn't think it was funny at all.  I can't remember who, but that did not go as planned.  The other one went un-stuck.  Money well spent for sure.

This is just disturbing

 

My sister sent this to me.  That acronym stands for "You Love Her Coz She's Dead".

 

That sends shivers down my spine.  Please let that be the name of a band I am too old to know of.  Otherwise, sister, next time pan up, jot down the license plate on that whip, and call the police!

 

If that doesn't have potential ax murderer written all over it, I don't know what does.

 

Fruit Heart

The only time I've ever seen a bumper sticker more random than this:

 

 

 

was when I saw one that said, "I'd Rather Be Basket Weaving".  That was before my days of stalking license plates and bumper stickers down the road so I have no photographic evidence.  But trust me, it happened.

Your Life

Have you seen the ridiciulousness that is Salt Life in your city?  In Wilmington it's everywhere!

 

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We get it.  You're here.  You're Salty.  And you're a dork. 

Salt life dude!

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I saw this sticker on the way to Florida last week and it's much more my speed.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again: You do not need to express your world views and life's greatest passions on the back of your car.  Save it for real life conversations and Facebook statuses.  Oh wait, no, that crap is equally as annoying on facebook.  I'm happy that your team won its sport and I am sorry that your candidate lost, but I do not need to see that shit online.

Reading is Sexy. Apparently.

My sister sent me this gem with the caption "Sexual Book Lover"?   I can't trump that so I'm just passing it along as is. 

She's definitely right.  Either a sexual book lover, or a formerly modest librarian who just got a boob job and is now putting her new assets on display.  While maintaining her quota of pages per day.

Holy Senseless

The only thing worse than excessive bumper sticker litter is bumper sticker litter that makes no sense.

Like this riddle I saw yesterday:

The pictures are a little fuzzy so I will clarify. In order from left to right, those bumper stickers read:

*GET RIGHT OR GET LEFT! JESUS CHRIST

* JESUS <3 YOU

* GET EVEN! Live long enough to become a problem to your kids

One of these things is not like the other.

That last one seems, what's the word?...unholy.

If you are going to force GodSpeak on other innocent drivers via the ass of your car, at least be consistent.

Apparently JESUS <3 YOU...as long as the "you" in this situation isn't this driver's kids.

Random Words

I saw this car yesterday when I was carbo-loading at Brixx Pizza.

What the hell does this even mean? Isn't that like if I put a decal on my car that said "Local Governor" or some such general name of a politician's position?

Maybe someone just lost a dare. Or has a terrible memory and has to remind himself of his job title really often.