Family Decals on Roids

This sighting from Houston, Texas puts your standard family decals to shame. 

 

 

 

Texans really do do everything bigger. 

Family Decals

Finally, a decal I can get on bored with.

 

 

 

Because the only thing I love more than sitting on my ass in a recliner is my awesome little dog!

 

 

 

 

I think you forgot something

 

Um, parents.  I think you forgot something.  And it's not your puppy's food. 

It's your baby!

 

Poor little guy, left so far behind with no faux sticky parents to change his nappies.

 

Oh, maybe the baby is allergic to the dog?  No, wait, they should still take the baby instead of the dog.

 

That's just messed up CR-V.  Someone call Child Services.

She's Works Out

My sister has found some real gems recently.  Here we have the uneccesary "I Workout" decal sticker.

 

 

 

It's like the 13.1 and 26.2 stickers runners put up, but way more general and brazen.

 

I feel like if you put that on your car you have to have an amazing body.  Otherwise people will see you, see the sticker, and be like, "Maybe you should stop wasting your time."

 

Either way, this person clearly has a spacing issue.  I mean, move that sticker 4 inches to the left for the love of balance!

 

On the plus side, it got this stuck in my head and brightened my day:

 

 

Monster Family

I really can't tell what's going on here.  This was sent by my sister, "I think there is some sort of Brady Bunch situation going on here."

 

 

 

There may be two dads, dressed alike.  There might be only two members of the family that have interests suspended over their heads.  I guess the girls are content with just a wave and a high side ponytail.  Simply girls.

 

And the dogs might be made out of tricycles.  But they love those dogs, guys.  It says so right below the sensible family of 10, of course.

 

But what really gets me here is the Monster Energy Drink sticker.  An over caffeineated, jittery, heart palpating matriarch or patriarch just isn't what first comes to mind when you think of this large of a family.  I guess they need that boost to keep up with the gang.

 

Who knows maybe this driver just won some free decal stickers and decided to put up the whole kit and caboodle.  That takes less explaining.

Decal Families - Suprise Sitters

Isn't this a cute little scene?

 

A mom and dad, a little girl, a wee one, some pets...

 

 

 

And their slutty dominatrix babysitters!

Zing

A friend send this to me recently and I just couldn't have said it better myself.

 

Stick Seeking Stick

Recent spotting on the highway:



Seeking a loving stick figure to care for my 2 boys, 1 alien baby, and puppy

This broken home of stick figures reminds me of my all-time favorite Words With Friends opponent.  We have been playing each other for about a year, and until last month, her WWF handle was ProudMomma'n'LovinWifey.  Then suddenly, mid-game, she became ProudMomma'n'LovinSon. 

 

Me thinks my scrabble buddy has a broken heart.  But not a broken pointer finger!  That's good news for my games at least.

I don't even know

I saw this while driving the other day.

While I have no earthly idea what it means, I had to share.  Out of pure shock and curiosity.

I am assuming Max is the dog in this portrayal above.  And it looks like 4 years after his professional portrait, Max became highly addicted to caffeine free Diet Coke.

Part of me wants to believe it's some sort of joke on society.  But this was an authentic old person's car with an authentic old person driving it, so I dare say it's real...you know, because old people don't make jokes on their car's butts typically?

Anyone care to make a guess as to WTF this means?  I'm at a loss!

Faux Kitties

I saw this yesterday in the grocery store parking lot.



Meow!

After jumping a frightened step back because I was so creeped out by these tightly-packed little kitties, I realized it wasn't even real!

Who does that?  Who likes cat so much that they adhere faux felines to their car windows? 

Maybe someone who is highly allergic and can't have real cats? 

Or maybe someone who is a certified crazy cat lady!

Creepy

Dead Decals & Dexter

I don't get it. 

Either this person is rebelling against the institution of family decals (in which case I salute you), or said person is starving his family to death.

Either way, these things cost money.  In which case it's an automatic lose-lose for the owner of the vehicle.

On a semi-related note (dead bodies), Dexter Season 7 comes back on in September and I'm straight freakin' because I don't have Showtime and can't convince my husband that I NEED it for at least 3 months starting in September. 

Does anyone in Wilmington have Showtime and want a friend to watch Dexter with on Sunday nights?!?!  I'll bring popcorn!

Don't worry, you have 3.5 months to decide!

Preach

Family Decals - Disney

You know what is really sad about this siutation?

I bet that those 2 parents spent so much money taking their 5 kids to Disney World that they can't even afford treatment for the degenerative neck condition that they are all suddenly suffering from.

Family Decals

Somebody call Animal Control. And Hoarders. 'Cuz this is too many cats!

Look at that poor man on the left. He is so outnumbered by women and cats it's ridiculous. No wonder his shorts are so short. He has been robbed of his masculinity and no longer needs shorts long enough to cover up his nuts and berries.

I would die so fast in that house with 6 cats. Physically I'm allergic to them. And mentally I just hate them so, so, so much.

Family Decals - Holy Grail

Behold: The Holy Grail of Family Decals

My friend sent this to me and it is just WOAH after WOAH after WOAH!

He dubbed it the Holy Grail and he couldn't be more spot on.

Nevermind the seemingly normal family to the bottom left.

Can we please focus on the upper middle DIVA!!!??? I bet the owner of this car wears so many bracelets at the same time.

And if this is an accurate reflection of her life, then she also probably has severe bladder control issues. But my guess is that she just got a really good deal on a package of stickers, because nothing about this family makes sense.

If I am to understand this setup correctly, I figure that would be 3 dads and 3 kids, plus 9 additional kids and 6 babies that they don't like that much. Then some really small pets.

We all know don't Divas don't hate like that, so it can't be so. My guess is a botched BOGO and a Diva who couldn't stop sticking.

So many stickers, so little sense!

Family Decals - Psychotic Episode edition

Wowza. Don't think I want to go on a family vacay with this clan. From this range it appears we have a golfer, a skater, a girl with a chainsaw, a poor swimmer with floaties, a candy striper?, and the world's most giant Cardinal bird. Oh and one scraggly dog, two birds that look like they are from a cartoon, and a deamon skull with a Jester hat on.

Do you notice anything missing from this family unit? PARENTS! Someone call Child Protective Services. And Animal Control while you're at it!

Part of me hopes that this is all a big joke that someone decided to play on their car. But, thanks to some research I did last week, I happen to know that these decals are not cheap! That's one stupid, expensive joke if it is indeed a joke. And if not, may this family never unleash the giant bird on the rest of the world!

Decal Families

OMG.

Stop procreating.

That's 21 grandkids I count. Plus one Labradoodle. And maybe a turtle?

Mathmetically, that comes down to 4 kids who each had 5.5 kids! Or 5 kids who each had 4 kids. Or 21 kids who each had one kid! Either way, that's a lot of lovin' that grandma and grandpa have to give out...and had to have given to each other.

Not to mention the fact that even if gramps and grams only spent $20 per present for each grandkid's Christmas present, that would still be $420 every year during the holidays. And that's for one, cheap present.

21 Grandkids: Bad for one's budget. Bad for one's stomach muscles.

Meow

This was sent to me by a friend yesterday who accurately said, "There's a lot going on here." (And who you can kind of make out taking the picture!)

Broadcasting that you are both a Yankee and a football fan is like having a "26.2" and a "13.1" sticker on the back of your car. I can tell immediately that I do not want to be your friend.

Oh you run half and full marathons? Well I'm driving to Chik Fil-A just to get lemonade, but they don't make a sticker for that. Too bad you will have to go this whole leg of Market Street behind me without knowing more about my personal life.

Oh, and the 4 cats? Why would anyone flash this around on their car? Don't they know that it is not socially acceptable to be a "cat person"? I would rather have a sticker on the back of my car that says "I'm a functioning alcoholic" or "I just don't have that many friends". I would be more comfortable with people knowing that.

Keep it in your pants Giants fan. No one needs to know about your kitties!

Family Decals - Stop Doing Things

This family is not just too big. They are waaaay too damn active.

I think I see an ATV, a surf board, a guitar, and chain saw?? I can't make them all out but that's got to be one expensive set of tykes!

I'm going to let my kids make their own fun out of twigs and leaves and a strict $5/month allowance.

Decal Families - Turbo Edition

This just in from the diva tip line...

This has got to be that guy from the TLC show "Sister Wives". It is a Utah license plate...Except this guy only has 3 wives and Mr. Sister Wives has 4. Maybe he's waiting until he gets paid for Season 2 before he springs for the 4th wife's sticker replica.

That's a whole lots of stickers and babies!