Quick Question...

Why are cats allowed to do whatever the hell they want but dogs are expected to stay inside and out of people's way?

Several of my neighbors have cats and they are always willy nilly losing them like it's no big deal.

But now it is a big deal to me.  My new neighbors started letting their cats out of the house about a month ago and since then it has been Bark City at the Rush household.  Whenever Rosie sees one of those free-for-all felines, she goes ballistic.  Usually this involves waking up Jack from a nap, annoying the crap out of me, and just generally causing an unnecessary ruckus.

So my question to you cat owners out there is this: Why is it OK for you to let your cat roam freely in my yard, under my car, upsetting my dog, and making me feel dirty, when I have to train my dog and keep her on a leash?

Sure, in a dream world, all animals could safely roam as freely as they wanted to and return safely home each night.  But it's not a dream world.  

Case in point: Doritos don't make you skinny.

If I wanted a cat in my yard or my car, you best believe I would get my own.  I don't have a cat because I'm highly allergic and highly unattracted to them.  Recognize.

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Be Still My Heart

I'm sure the fact that I have a dog I'm obsessed with and a baby about to be born makes this extra cute to me, but how can you watch this and just not die of preciousness?!

I hope Rosie turns in to the ultimate protector for our baby.  And not an ultimate diva bitch who can't share the spotlight.

Rosie Update

Since a few fellow dog obsessed people asked me about Rosie, I thought I'd give you an update.  I took her to the vet.  After a quick visit and some urine analysis, it turns out Ro Ro has some sort of infection of the lady bits. 

 

 

Did you know that, according to the vet's office, the easiest way to collect a sample of your pet's urine is to follow them around until they squat and quickly place a tray under their stream?  I did that yesterday.  It was fun running after a dog's 1/2 ounce of pee while pregnant in the freezing cold at 8am. 

(No really, it was.  I felt like a good mom.  And a scientist.)

 

Even though I inexplicably have to give her these antibiotics for 14 days, twice a day (?!?!), she already seems like her old, bladder-controlled self after just one day of them. 

 

Now, if we could just move to a no-fly-over zone than homegirl would quit barking at everything that passes in the sky and we could all sleep in peace.  But things are looking up!  Especially for our floors.

How to Un-House Train Your Dog

Step 1: Assume that since she is 11 months old and has rarely peed in the house, and that she is the cutest dog ever, that she is and will forever be perfect.

 

A lady likes nice things.  And lots and lots of blankets.

 

 

Step 2: Get her spayed.

 

Step 3: Give her a full day of surgery to be the saddest, most pitiful thing ever.

 

The sadness and confusion was palpable.

 

Step 4: Treat her like a gentle angel.  Give her a raw hide bone that was sent to her in the mail to show her she is special and deserves treats.

 

Step 5: Watch as she mauls the raw hide bone all day long and then subsequently drinks an ungodly amount of water. 

 

Step 6: Take her out the usual 10 times a day that seems pretty generous for any pet.

 

Step 7: Step in a big puddle of her pee.  Take her out again.

 

Step 8: Wait 15 minutes and find another puddle of pee on your rug. 

 

Step 9: Scratch your head and think, WTF, Rosie!?  I thought we had a deal.  Hello, see Step #1!

 

Melancholy and the infinite sadness.

 

 Step 10: Wake up around 3am to your husband cursing at the pee puddle by his feet in bed.  He he.  Laugh a little to yourself that she has only ever peed on his side.

 

Step 11: Enjoy this rare moment of sleeping alone while he moves to the couch, even though it means that you are sleeping with no covers because they are in the wash.

 

Step 12-15: Blame it on the raw hide, blame it on the surgery, blame it on the rain.  Something is not the same with your dog.  She officially thinks the office is her personal toilet and the bed is her own pee pad. 

 

Step 16: Be a little devastated because your angel baby is not, in fact perfect.  Even 2 weeks post-surgery.  Ask for help or tips on how to get back to Step 1.

 

Anyone!?  Tips?!  Suggestions!?  I want my perfect dog back.  Not just because I don't like stepping in pee.  I also am not a big fan of washing my sheets every other day and sleeping in fear of Rosie wetting the bed. 

 

She has a shoe fetish with only my shoes.  Some dogs like to eat shoes.  Rosie like to use them as pillows :)

 

 Hopefully with time her habits will go back to the ladylike manner in which I had become accustomed.  Until then, baby girl is going to be limited to a survival-only water supply.

Dog is My Copilot

And Jesus is among us.  In this dog's butt:

 

Dog Butt Looks Like Jesus Christ In A Robe

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Happy Friday :)

Covered in Dog Hair and Loving It

Diva Says What has a new mascot!

 

 

Her name is Rosie and she is a whole lotta cuteness.

 

She is a big fan of this crevice.

 

She's also a whole lot of work.  Who knew a 4 pound princess could require so much attention!

 

That's her BFF/arch nemesis Elefante

 

Having a puppy for me so far (this is day 4) has felt like having a huge crush on someone.  You think about them all day.  You wonder what they are thinking.  You are desperate for them to love you.  And you always end up bringing the conversation back to that person. 

I hope she has a crush on me too!

 

If she likes me half as much as she likes spontaneously collapsing into naps than we are in good shape.

 

In addition to being grateful for having the privilege of loving such an adorable dog, I'm also really grateful that this didn't happen to me.

 

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Well, not so much grateful as glad I'm not stupid.  Because those "dogs" look 100% like rodents.  Who thinks of these things!?