That was a doozy

Well I basically just got to live out every girl's fantasy: Trying on formal wear 4 weeks post partum.  I have a bad cold and my baby, who I once thought was a miracle baby because she slept for 6 hours straight two times, decided to wake up every 2 hours last night.  So I was in no way physically or emotionally prepared for this shopping experience.

 

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I mean, I knew I wasn't exactly looking slim right now.  But holy hell.  The lighting was not my friend.  I looked like some sort of indistinguishable fat sack in most dresses.  I almost lost all hope when I stumbled upon what can only be described as the Quinceañera department of Dillard's.  But thankfully there were some more conservative options in the adjacent old lady section. 

 

I ended up with two options.  One I'm almost 99% sure I will see a senior citizen also wearing at the event next weekend, probably looking way more fly than me.  The other was more than I've ever spent on a dress ever but I think I could actually wear again.  So it's pretty much a win-win.

 

I can justify spending more money on the second dress with the rationale of: Oh wait...I don't give a shit how much this cost because you are making me go to a formal event 4 weeks after birthing your baby.  But also it's kind of pretty.

 

Long story short: thank God for Spanx.

 

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Wake Up Shut Up

Besides my baby, life, husband, and general well being, I have a really compelling reason to stay healthy in life --> So that I never have to get anesthesia again.

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On Monday I had an endoscopy to further investigate my raging post-pregnancy acid reflux that has been giving me breathing trouble for months.  I wasn't scared of the needles, being put to sleep, or the procedure.  But I was terrified of what I might say when I woke up.

You see, my past with anesthesia has involved saying the following ridiculous things upon waking up:

- That I invented the high five.

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- Telling the doctor that his partner's daughter is mean for no reason and seemingly likes being a bitch.  

-Telling the doctor that his son is hot.

- Waking up sobbing and telling the nurses that I'm not sad, I'm just so happy because they did an amazing job removing my tonsils.

And this time I woke up startled saying, "Oh sorry I didn't know where I was!  I thought I was being robbed...Not because you're black."

UGH!  I am an idiot.  I don't even say stuff like that ever!  What is wrong with me?!  Grant already told me if I ever have to have this done again to stretch my esophagus out again that he can't come with me because he works at the hospital and doesn't want to be associated with my unpredictable post-anesthesia musings.

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Fair enough.

Zoe's Dinners for 4

I mentioned previously about an amazing thing friends do for one another called Meal Train.  It's a wonderful tool for new moms, people who have family in the hospital, people who have been ill, etc.  You sign up to bring someone dinner and, I can now tell you from experience, they really, really, really appreciate it!

 

Not having to cook when you barely have enough sleep to function is no small miracle...On the flip side, I'm so tired and stupid these days that I might just not even bother to eat if I didn't have these luscious meals coming my way, which would also be a miracle in and of itself, but that ain't happening so forget that.

 

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In addition to telling you about this amazing online service, let me also just go ahead and tell you what to bring if you ever sign up for one.

 

Zoe's Dinners for 4. 

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KABOB COMBO DINNER

four chicken, four shrimp, or four veggie kabobs (eight total kabobs), rice pilaf, greek salad, pita bread

 

My mom, although not part of the actual train (Choo choo!), brought Grant and I this dinner last week and it was basically my dream meal.  I love everything Mediterranean inspired when it comes to food.  This was no exception.

 

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Even though they are delicious, I simply do not need fatty, fat, fat cheese casseroles and such in my life.  After losing 20 pounds in the week following delivery, the remaining 15 pounds have gone literally NOWHERE.  So I'm desperate to lose the additional weight, while also having decadent meals brought to us twice a week.  It isn't going well, shockingly.  Because I have the will power of a crack addict.

 

Anyway, back to Zoe's.  The meal is probably 70% healthy.  Then there is a lot of rice pilaf.  But you can just have a little and be 30% naughty :)  The meal my mom brought us consisted of the Kabob Combo.  We got 4 chicken kabobs, 2 steak kabobs, and 2 shrimp kabobs.  OMG they were all incredible!  Especially the chicken and steak kabobs.  Seasoned to perfectly, moist, and delicious. 

 

And the greek salad it comes with is filled with deliciousness and sides of their incredible made-in-house dressing.  Yes please!

 

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So if you ever need to bring someone an amazing, portable, and pretty meal, this is your meal.  And if you ever wonder what I might like to eat, this is my meal.