February 03, 2014

Getting Over It

I definitely just hit the point in my pregnancy in which I am over it.  I want this baby to be in my arms and my belly to go back to being as unremarkable as it's always been.


I can't wait for a lot of things post-pregnancy:

- Being able to see the lower half or my stomach

- Being able to pee in a public restroom without accidentally farting*

- Being able to not weigh the same as a man of average height...who is also kind of fat

- Being able to drink alcohol

- Being able to eat Italian sandwiches

- Being able to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time without having to pee

- Being able to sleep on whichever quadrant of my body I choose

- Being able to mount or dismount a seat without grunting


Oh, and being a mom!  I can't wait for that the most of all.  But I really, really want to not feel like a beached whale again.  
This was me at dinner on Saturday.
Compared to my reflection now, when I look at old pictures of me on Facebook I am like, "Holy shit I was a freaking super model!".  Obviously that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it makes me want to tell my former non-ginormous self to lay off the fat comments to self and enjoy wearing regular pants with real pockets and even shirts that don't have elastic on the sides!


*There's a reason why people tell you to wait until you are married to get pregnant.  It's not just about respecting your body and God.  It's because you need someone that is legally bound to you to stick with you through the multi-post-midnight bathroom interruptions, full body grunts, hormonal and emotional roller coaster rides, ice cream on your face, and involuntary body noises.  They should probably add an extra episode about that on MTV's Teen Mom.  If that doesn't cut teen pregnancy in half, nothing will.


T-minus 6 weeks!

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