August 30, 2013

Newport Old Fort

It seems really obvious not to smoke cigarettes for the well known reasons, like them making you die and stuff. 
But clearly, as this mind blowing Newport ad proves, there are some less obvious reasons that need to be pointed out.
Particularly, why to not smoke after moving into a new house and making an adult box fort.
First of all, you just moved in.  Why would you sully it up with that rancid smell?
Secondly, you better hope you bought that house and not rented, because Mr. Landlord is going to be all sorts of pissed when he sees those burn marks on his brand new generic white carpet.
Third, you are 30-ish.  It's too late in life to build forts.  (But not really).  So if you are going to build a 30+ year old fort, make it awesome.  You should have the money at this stage in life for the right accessories to make this thing pop. 
Also, I hate to point out the obvious, but what you have here is really more of a faux-drive thru window.  Forts are dwellings.  This is a makeshift Cook Out Walk-Thru.  Work more horizontal, less vertical.
Fourth, y'all are both pretty beautiful people.  Don't ruin your looks with cigs.
And finally, your cigarettes aren't even lit you dumb, dumb asses.  How are these life lessons supposed to apply to you if you are just pretending to smoke!?

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