August 07, 2012

In-Flight "Entertainment"

As everyone knows, flying is a total nightmare.  Cancelled flights, disgruntled airline employees, pissed passengers, lost luggage.  It all sucks.

But there are a few good things about stuck in the confines of the airport/airplane walls:

- Being able to drink at 10am in the morning because you are already off your usual schedule, and really it's 4pm where you just flew from...but really you just want a beer at 10am

- Eating pizza for breakfast because, well, the airport S'barro is open at 9am and who doesn't want pizza for breakfast.  Nobody has to know that you just got to the airport and have no good excuse for not bringing your own banana and whole wheat toast.

- Free movies!  Sure, it's awkward to cry in front of the other 200 plane passengers when Zac Efron gets the girl in the latest Nicholas Sparks predictable formula Romantic Comedy.  But heck, if I can see the latest Rom Com for free without having to pay for RedBox or Netflix, I'm not going to complain!

But then sometimes, and presumably only if you are on the plane with hundreds of other people who had to have been murderers in their past lives, you get stuck with the worst in-flight movies of all time.  And if your karma is really, really, really bad, they are all playing on the one screen in each section of the cabin, instead of just being an option on your own personal seat-back monitor.

This, my friends, is what happened to me BOTH ways to Switzerland.  Whoever is in charge of selecting the in-flight movies for USAirways both East and Westbound to Europe should be dismissed immediately.  In a series of selections that can only be described as abysmal, this is what the 6 movies were that I could watch on the way to and from Europe.

- This Means War (totally not bad, loved the movie, but I had literally watched it 2 days before I left.  Of course.)
- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (You read that right.  No it's not really erotic.  It's some sort of geriatric movie about flowers I guess?)
- We Bought a Zoo (Animals?  No thanks.)

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (Although even the title of this one put me to sleep, it was actually pretty good.  Phew, made it through the first 2 hours of the flight)
- Joe Somebody (Not only is this from 2001, it's stupid.)
- The Toothfairy 2 ("Starring" Larry the Cable Guy.  Shut up.  Just shut up.)

Needless to say I got a lot of reading done on these flights.  Angry, angry reading.

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