So Two-Faced

I just want to preface this post by saying that I believe, seek out, and am fascinated by medical mysteries. (Remember this post?) I've watched enough Mystery Diagnosis and ABC Medical Mysteries to know that it is not that unusual for someone in a less developed country to have a dead twin living in his or her stomach or for a young girl to have 10 limbs. That's just your run of the mill medical mystery awesomeness.

I do not, however, believe that this is true: http://www.omg-facts.com/view/Facts/44498

I don't disbelieve this because it seems medically impossibly to have a second face on the back of your head who is apparently an emotional rollercoaster. I disbelieve this because of the picture on the article.

If the chances of a person have a second face on the back of his or her head is 1 in a billion, then what are the chances of an American looking man growing the face of a grumpy, old Chinese face on the back of his head? A grumpy, old Chinese man with BANGS no less.

Too slim for me to believe! And I am still actively looking for the Loch Ness monster, so, there's that...

My Body's Like Woah

This is more of a PSA than anything, so listen up!

I got a full body mole check the other day and, much to my surprise, it was full body.

I don't know why this surprised me so much because the title clearly implies that it will be a thorough search, but I was still not prepared.

It reminded me of the first time I had to get measured by a seamstress to be fitted for a bridesmaid dress. I really don't know how I thought they'd do it, but I did not think it would involve me having to undress. So naturally I wore the world's ugliest underwear and was mortified when the seamstress was measured by Aztec-printed ass.

Ladies beware: When it comes to full body mole checks or full body measurements, they really mean full body.

Beach Livin'

I guess I should get used to this living in Wilmington!

I know this is totally disgusting and looks like something you'd see in a medical journal, but its just mosquito bites. 4 mosquito bites in a row actually...all about a cm apart. What are the chances of that happening?

I am trying hard to resist the urge to play Guitar Hero on my forearm. WHAMMY BAR!!

I Heart Anonymity

Last week I got a massage. I couldn't stop thinking throughout the whole thing how comforting it was to have someone see you semi-naked and vulnerable on a massage table and not care at all about how fat she thought you were or what her take was on cellulite. The truth was, I didn't care at all what she thought because I knew I'd never lay eyes on her again.

I was moving the next day and I rarely ever get massages, so the odds were definitely in my favor for eternal anonymity with this woman. The comfort that brought was wonderful.

That also made me wax nostalgic have terrible flashbacks about the OB/GYN I went to in high school and college. She was a member of the church I went to and her son and daughter were in Youth Group with my sister and me. Not anonymous!

She would sit there while performing her doctoral "procedures" and start asking me about how my parents were doing, what was my sister up to in school, etc....Not ideal.

Even if it's for the sake of medicine and good health, I don't need someone asking mom and pops while my legs are in stirrups.

After I moved away from home I went to random doctors that I was happy to never see outside the hospital. Some people say random doctor/patient relationships can hurt patient care. I say it keeps the topic of my sister's after-school activities off limits while Dr. Random is feeling around to make sure I don't have breast cancer.

Anonymity for life!

Gesundheit

Yesterday at the gym I was reading a November 2005 copy of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine. I found it in some old pile in my office, hence the vintage date.

While thumbing through the Healthfamily section Q&A, I literally busted out laughing at the following question:

Q: My husband gets on my for holding back my sneezes. Is there anything wrong with doing this?

Now I'm no medical professional or relationship expert, but if that was a serious concern of this woman, than marriage must have been a lot more peechy keen back in the 2005's.

Unfortunately the answer isn't what it should be. Like, "Please stop wasting my time, grab a tissue, and love your husband." But it does quote Ben Franklin: "You should sneeze proudly". Which was both unexpected and deepy moving.

In a world with with AIDS, cancer, and deadly diseases, kudos to the sneeze for refusing to be silenced!