Read Carefully

The requirements to work at Taco Bell seem to be seriously strict. It's hard to make out that fine print, but I think it says "PhD required".

Too much of a good thing

I just went back to the Subway where the angels I have previously referred to work. The meanest one (Sandwich Artist A) was actually really nice today and she gave me an extra piece of turkey on my salad, even though I didn't ask for extra meat! Things were going well.

And then her counterpart got behind the counter and saw the amount of turkey! Mass confusion ensued. Sandiwich Arist B asked S.A. A what the hell she was doing giving me so much turkey and S.A. A told her it didn't matter, it was just turkey. Preturbed that S.A. A had gone against the exact science of Subway meat measurements, S.A. B responded eloquently with a poignant "Girl, you trippin." It was another great Subway rocket-science experience.

Making salads is hard yall!!!

On a serious note though, it was way too much meat.

D.I.E.

I choose to believe that Heidi and Spencer are not real people, but instead are robots sent from hell to fill us all with violent rage.

Either way, they wrote a book called "How the be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture".



I would seriously end my friendship with someone if I knew that they had bought this book. Prolonging their celebrity in any way is a mortal sin in my book.


http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/2009/11/03/2009-11-03_how_to_be_famous_heidi_montag_and_specer_pratts_new_advice_book_for_the_vapid.html



Seriously though, if any of yall have bought it, let me know so I can delete you from my palm pilot.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Divas

Anyone who has ever been to New Orleans knows that it land of open containers and late night unspeakables.

With that, unfortunately, comes what we will call "dehydration" in the morning. So what's a diva to do when room service at the Marriot doesn't offer made to order Smoothies (gasp!)? $20 for 3 Sierra Mists is clearly the only other option. It cost a little more, but the painful fizzle hurts so good that it's a must. Plus, you can't put a price on refreshment when you're part of the Sisterhod of the Traveling Divas.

Now, room service, can a diva get some cucumber slices for her eyes!?!?

Mature

If you get bored this weekend, I have a recommendation. http://www.funlol.com/653/Miss_Cleo_Sounds.html

You can make prank calls with all of these pre-recorded Miss Cleo clips. It's hilarious. I've seen someone do it before. Do it to someone that takes his or herself too seriously. T'will be glorious.

Here are a few examples to motivate you. http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Miss_Cleo_Prank_Calls.aspx

Quote of the Day

"They're a cult...like sobers and the homeless"