December 11, 2013

Shhh...It's a Secret

Last night I watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.  Well, I watched as much of it as I could before my dog went ape shit over the feather and wing creations and I had to turn it off.  This happens 100% of the time something resembles an animal on TV.  I have come to the sad realization that my children will never be able to watch the Little Mermaid or Homeward Bound, lest Rosie go barking ballistic on them and ruin their childhoods.
 
 
I couldn't help but wonder during this "fashion show":  What, pray tell, is the point?  Besides the obvious: Making women feel bad about their normal bodies and giving men totally unrealistic expectations about how much space can truly exist between a woman's thighs.
 
 
The models don't actually wear normal things you can buy in the store.  Thereby negating any logical reason I can see for this to be considering marketing for the Victoria's Secret brand.  If I was on the market for a $10,000,000 bra, sure this would be the perfect venue for me to see what's out there.  But the average viewer is probably sitting on her couch with in $20 sweat pants with the word PINK on her butt, with her husband- mouth agape.  Not your target market for 8-figure bedazzled bras and crotchless panties paired with angel wings.  But that's just my humble opinion.
 


 
As I was flipping back between the Victoria's Secret show and the American Country Awards, which even the hosts seemed to understand isn't a real award show, I couldn't help but think of my dead ancestors.  If they just happened to be revived and caught a glimpse of these two shows at once, they would probably think the world had, indeed, come to an end.  Either that or look both ways to see if anyone is looking, pull an Irish exit, and head on back to the ground from whence they came. 
 
 
Basically last night was a stupid night for America.  A hot, sexy, honky tonkin', stupid night.
 

August 19, 2010

Everybody's Working for the Weekend


Questieanu Reeves people.

Does anyone know how much people who work at Victoria's Secret get paid?

Last night I was there cashing in my voucher for a free pair of rouched cotton hiphuggers that I received in the mail (because apparently even VS knows I'm poor and a sucker for anything free).

When I was "checking out" (didn't spend a dime), I heard the 2 cashiers bitching about how it was going to rain and they hated driving home in the rain.

While the one on the left with the standard VS assymetrical haircut said she had to drive about 30 minutes from home, eyeliner mcgee on the right said she commutes an HOUR!

I was stunned. I mean, surely there are places in her hometown that pay the same hourly wage right? Or does VS really pay people enough to make that commute worth it. I would think that you'd eat up at least half of your daily pay on gas alone!

If any of you out there are former Victoria's Secret employees, and this is some sort of untapped gold mine of a job, holla atcha girl. Because I also don't make any money, but at least I can walk to work!

*Random, random sidenote: The longest I've ever driven to a job was when I worked in DC and had to drive to Greenbelt, MD. Without going into a lot of detail, it was a temporary stint at a collection agency. And, omg, if I'd started this blog while I was at that job, I swear to god I'd be famous.

It was the most ridiculous place ever. Highlights include 1) Me eating lunch in my car everyday because people made fun of me for eating salads (it was a large group of women, and I don't mean a lot of them),

2) A lady randomly having a full fledged seizure and then just going back to her desk and working

3) A girl named Candy (yep, Candy) getting tandem frog tattoos with her mom, because "my mom is just cool like that."

Good times, I'm sooo glad I got that college degree.