February 04, 2013
January 18, 2012
BeYESce
Recently I was asked why I never commented on the name that Beyonce and Jay-Z chose for their baby - Blue Ivy.
Yes, I think that is a stupid name. Who wants to be named after a color, one that is only three letters short of the word Blubber? And Ivy? That just reminds me of the time my neighbor got his fingers and eyes each webbed together by a poisonous three leaf growth in the woods.
But this is Beyonce we are talking about people. I don't know if you've ever heard the way Jimmy Kimmel talks about Oprah, but that is how I feel about Beyonce. (Watch this video if you know what's good for you! It even features Boyz II Men)
No one messes with the queen of pop, bitch! Beyonce could name her baby Butt Rash for all I care. Homegirl and her mini-me are still going to be fierce and flawless.
When it comes to Beyonce, don't ask question. Just nod your head and tap your feet...and bring the beat in...Ok now you have to watch this video. It's my second favorite song of the moment.
Yes, I think that is a stupid name. Who wants to be named after a color, one that is only three letters short of the word Blubber? And Ivy? That just reminds me of the time my neighbor got his fingers and eyes each webbed together by a poisonous three leaf growth in the woods.
But this is Beyonce we are talking about people. I don't know if you've ever heard the way Jimmy Kimmel talks about Oprah, but that is how I feel about Beyonce. (Watch this video if you know what's good for you! It even features Boyz II Men)
No one messes with the queen of pop, bitch! Beyonce could name her baby Butt Rash for all I care. Homegirl and her mini-me are still going to be fierce and flawless.
When it comes to Beyonce, don't ask question. Just nod your head and tap your feet...and bring the beat in...Ok now you have to watch this video. It's my second favorite song of the moment.
November 22, 2011
Run the World (and the afterlife)
I've wondered my whole life why seemingly unusual situations always happen in my presence. At first I thought I was just exaggerating to myself. But, no, weird, amazing things continued to happen to me. My sister has called me a "chosen person", which I kinda loved. But that still just wasn't explanation enough.
After taking my second Zumba class last week, in which the gay attendees were basically just multiplying at the door before the class started, it finally dawned on me. These aren't just weird incidences that happen in my life. I am in my version of heaven!
This is my afterlife...And I must have been super awesome in my past life to deserve this. Because there is just no way my life can be this random.
This notion was proved throughout the next hour when one of the gays Zumba-ed so hard that I felt the ground shake beneath him. And when someone requested "Run the World (Girls)" by Beyonce and I got to do the actual choreography from her music video with the 0% coordination that I was blessed with. If that isn't heaven on Earth I don't know what is.And just try to dance or sing to that song and not feel like the most powerful woman on Earth. Listen to it here. I dare you.
Next time I end up with a coworker who brags about his Japanese bathtub, a random encounter with a stranger that is just NOT normal, or accidentally wear shoes without knowing that they actually look like jazz boots, I don't have to wonder anymore! Life isn't weird. It's the afterlife that's really crazy!
Crazy awesome.
March 31, 2010
Single Lady Devastation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9eL3ejXmE&feature=player_embedded
This is amazing. And devastating.
Moral: Never tell your child he/she is not a single lady!
This is amazing. And devastating.
Moral: Never tell your child he/she is not a single lady!
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