November 05, 2018

Daylight Savings/Need Saving

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I'll be the first to say it out loud - It's hard to like your kids this time of year. What with the time change, early morning wake ups, lack of sunlight after 5pm, and continuing whining about wanting to eat Halloween candy.  I said it on Facebook a few years ago, but it bares repeating: Daylight Savings is when you gain an hour but lose the will to live.

I can't believe it's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow.  I love Fall and was SO excited about packing my spider veins away for the winter.  Now I have figure out how to dress again for the rest of the week.  I struggle with clothes for warm weather.

Speaking of clothes, everyone really seemed to like my jazz boot story in my last post.  It was not an isolated event.  I remember another time at my last job when I thought I looked smart in my navy trousers and white short sleeved button up.  It was around lunchtime when I caught a glance in then bathroom mirror and realized I looked like a Cuban senior citizen wearing an authentic guayabera.

Also, I had at least a 4 year period of my 20’s in which I unknowingly dressed as a man.  I had a collection of thick J Crew chinos in every color, especially dark khaki, and I paired them with men’s polo shirts.  In a size men’s small, of course, because I have always been petite.  I wish I had a picture to share but it was just before the dawn of digital photos.  Maybe that was for the best.


I have a very specific memory of wearing my chinos in Chicago one summer.  Did you know the Windy City isn't always windy?  I literally did not.  I went in the height of summer, armed with my bevy of chinos and polos.  I thought it was always cold there.  Until I sweated through my pants at Wrigley Field and got such a bad sunburn on my forearms that I had to cover them with brochures on a boat tour the next day.  I went to Walgreens after the boat tour and tried to buy sunscreen SPF 90.  A sympathetic black lady at the counter said, "You know they make that in 100."  Naturally I went back to the sunscreen aisle to get the max protection for my alabaster skin.

Why can’t there just be 5 pairs of shoes for sale that all look good?  Every time I am determined to upgrade my 5 pair collection of sexually ambiguous loafers, I get overwhelmed by the 470,000 shoe options on the Zappos or Nordstrom website, and I end up just quitting and taking a nap.  I did go out on a limb earlier this summer and get some fashionable wedges with a high heel and super chic fabric and color.  And then I realized if I walk more than 0.5 mph in them, I will instantly collapse.

Most of the time my house is so messy it looks like I’m in the middle of a move.  How do kids do it?  I know it's considered ideal to have a house where you can see the floor, but it's so hard not to give up sometimes.  The only time my house is truly clean is for about a half hour when the housekeepers come every other week.  Then the kids show up and it's back to Sanford and Son status.

Remember when they used to not let you bring cuticle clippers on planes after 9/11?  That was a tough time.  I’ve always been a nervous flyer but during that period my fear of crashing was equally matched by my fear of getting a hang skin and not being able to nip it with a clean cut.  Thank goodness now they just don’t let you bring water in from the outside.  I would much rather be dehydrated than have unruly cuticles.

That's my thought dump of the month.  If anyone has any ground breaking indoor activities for these long dark afternoons, holler at your girl.  Or just come over and have some wine with me and make our kids entertain each other.

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