Home/Woah

Holy Mother of Moving.

That was an intense weekend. Between moving furniture, unpacking everything I own, and subsequently realizing that I need to win the lottery STAT, this weekend was an exciting blur.

I have either a crick or a pinched nerve in my back and am now going to have to unintentionally do the Robot all day at work, but it was all worth it.

Now I just need a couple of things: A dream closet, blinds (apparently towels and old sheets are not aesthetically pleasing to the neighbors?), a new bathtub, a washer and dryer, to repaint everything I own, to repaint lots of rooms, to reupholster all my couches and chairs, and find the spot in the backyard where the money tree is growing.

Until any of that happens, I’m going to be semi-broke, going around my ass to get to my elbow find a clean shirt and some freaking chapstick, and loving every minute of it...while relaxing on my pink suede couch.

The really good news is that yesterday I only messed up 90% of the home repairs I attempted. Hello new hole that I drilled right smack through the door. And my husband only used 90% of all of the curse words in the English language when he installed the world’s widest and most diagonal toilet paper holder and one half of a towel rack…the other half fell off and is now in time out.

I’d say we have a lot to learn! I will post some before and after pictures soon – assuming there is an after to tell of!

I'm Moving This Weekend

Moving Still

Guess what! I’m moving. Well kind of. Ok not really. I was supposed to close on a house today and move this weekend. But that is so not happening. In worst-timing-ever news, the owner of the house we are buying got in a bike accident and is now in the hospital with a punctured lung and broken ribs.

This sucks for several reasons. 1) He punctured his lung and broke some ribs. That is never good. 2) None of the repairs we requested were done on the house we wanted to buy before said accident. 3) They might not be done for months because the person doing them was the owner (aka, the person in the hospital).

I don’t want to be selfish here, but wtf are the chances!? Now I seriously have no idea when/if we can move into this house.

I do know one thing though. If I ever get a moving truck again, I’m NEVER using Budget rental vans.

When I moved out of my apartment in Washington, DC I was allowed exactly 2 hours to use the freight elevator and loading dock. My time frame was from 9-11am.

I got up early with my boyfriend, went to the address listed on my rental truck reservation ready to get my move on, and subsequently shat my pants when I got there and saw that the address was an abandoned building. I just knew this was not going to be “my day”.

I called Budget and informed them that this reservation they confirmed was to a place that did not exist. They referred me to another location in the even more ghetto part of DC. I got to location #2 only to discover that it is just a trailer in a shitty parking lot with one truck to be seen – a 16-wheeler with a missing side-view mirror. That confirmed all suspicions that today was going to suck ass.

I go inside the trailer, tell the man in charge that I desperately need a truck ASAP because I have no time to waste (mind you this was nearing 9am by this point), and the company already screwed me over once. Even the busted ass truck in the parking lot was not available. He kindly referred me to the nearest Budget dealer in Leesburg, VA. I kindly burst into tears.

I’d never been to Leesburg before, but I can now tell you that it’s about 45 minutes from DC. Just enough time to totally miss the window in which I was allowed to move. The trip was made even longer by the fact that my boyfriend didn’t bring his cell phone and didn’t have GPS, so I had to go 25 mph all the way back to DC so he could follow me, while ensuring that I stayed in the 1 inch peripheral that he could see out of the sides of the giant rental truck.

The rest of the day was filled with me begging perfect strangers to let me hop on the freight elevator with them…and my couch; having a new tenant move in my apartment while I was still trying to move out; then also moving my boyfriend into the truck out of his apartment, which consisted of a shit ton of trash bags and me eating lots of Peruvian chicken while pouting on his velour couch.

The moral of the story is this: Use Two Men and a Truck. I used them when I moved from Chapel Hill and it was the best money that I my husband’s new company ever spent. They were right on time (nay, early), did not complain one single time or threaten to kill my husband (which is what I usually do when I move), were incredibly nice and polite, and even told my mom we looked like sisters.

I think if we ever do move into this house in question in Wilmington, we will just move ourselves. But I would sacrifice a year’s worth of manicures and pedicures if it meant I could use Two Men and Truck again. You best believe that customer satisfaction survey was filled with nothing but accolades and gold stars.

Until then…mom and dad, you’re running low on wine at the beach house. Time to come back stock up :) ...Surely I jest?!

Punchy

Besides usually being miserable and almost always occurring on the hottest day of the year, moving can also be kind of funny. Assuming you unearth hilarious finds that you didn't remember that you had, or, better yet, that you didn't know your roommate/spouse had.

For instance, I was tidying up yesterday and was shocked to realize that my 28 year old husband owned not only 2 basketball jerseys, a polyester paisley shirt, and a box full of fake plastic ducks, but also a full sized punching bag.

WTF?!

Our house in Chapel Hill was small, how did I manage to go 2 years there and never lay eyes of this massive punching bag. This is also to say that he did not ever use it.

Who doesn't need a giant, useless punching bag hiding in their house?! Just in case of an emergency fight club situation...

La Vida Loca

Today is the greatest day ever my last day of work!

I finally feel like I’m starting my real life once I move. Something about being married now and my husband finally not being in school and having bi-monthly keg parties…Real Life!

Which is ironic because so far this real life consists of me moving in with Mommy and Daddy at their vacation home and putting all of my earthly possessions in a climate controlled box.

Oh well, baby steps.

I just need to get a job and a place to live and I’ll be set! Oh wait, that’s like everything.

I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I hope with all of my heart that I can do something that doesn’t involve sitting at a desk. Because all the funniness happens while you’re talking to people and moving around! Not doing data entry in a corner, sharing an office with a crazy lady that reads emails to herself OUTLOUD.

T-minus 5 hours until I’m free at last!